The following short story is about a very brave family who have gone through so much turmoil, both emotionally and physically in their personal battle against Cancer.
Cameron contacted me some months back, telling me he had come upon my blog quite by chance and after reading posts I had written felt a certain symmetry in how we both explain ourselves,how we write, the experiences we have gone through and all the emotions,fears and feelings that we have undergone.
Cameron asked would I be willing to share just some of the experiences of his family in the form of a short story he wrote on my blog about his wife's terrible disease and I agreed immediately.
The internet is a fantastic way to share ones experiences and in doing so if it can shed even the tiniest bit of light on someone who is suffering, well that's quite an achievement.
Learning to Live with Cancer
My wife often tells me
that she doesn't know how I got through a life-changing event. When Heather was
diagnosed with mesothelioma,
I didn't know what to say or even what to do, but slowly things fell into
place. I hope that by sharing my experience here, I can help someone else
currently facing a similar situation.
Three months before her
diagnosis, we were in the hospital, celebrating the birth of our first and only
child, Lily. With such great joy and excitement in our lives, it was hard to
imagine the time that was to follow. Sitting in the doctor's office just a few
months later, we experienced the worst moment of either of our lives. When the
doctors told us that my wife had mesothelioma, I looked at Heather, tears
welling up in her eyes, and could not imagine how we were ever going to get
through this.
Overwhelmed, I went
through a brief moment of breaking down, but her doctor’s rapid questions about
future medical decisions we would be asked to make brought me back to the
present. It was the first time of many more occasions where we would have to
make choices under the stress of severe emotional upheaval. I can only thank
Heather for being strong even when we both had doubts.
Right after the meeting
with doctors, I only felt anger and fear, which would come out in unexpected
ways, particularly when I was frustrated. I cussed, ranted and raged at the
smallest things. I felt angry at the world for putting us in this impossible,
unfair situation. I knew that I couldn't be like that, and it didn’t take long
for me to realize how selfish I was being. For my wife and daughter, I had to
be strong, and eventually, it began to set in that this was more than a passing
moment. It was going to be many months, maybe years. I never wanted my wife to
see how scared I was. From that moment on, I did my very best to be nothing but
a source of hope and optimism for my wife.
Afteragnosis, my
to-do list grew considerably, and I had to learn to cope with all these new
responsibilities. I had to help raise Lily, take care of Heather, our pets, while
also holding down my full time job and helping to plan travel arrangements,
doctors appointments, and so much more. Being that overwhelmed, I often felt
that I couldn't take one more thing added to the list. I learned to prioritize
and make choices, taking the list on one item at a time in order of
importance. I also learned very quickly
to accept help from anyone who offered. Without the incredible outpouring pport from our loving friends and family, I honestly don’t know how we would
have made it through this difficult time.
After work on a Friday,
I decided to drive to my wife and baby in South Dakota. It was an 11-hour drive
through a snow storm. I slept on the side of the road at one point as the plows
worked to clear the snow. I arrived on Saturday and spent the rest of the day
with my family, as well as part of Sunday, before driving back for work on
Monday. It was a lot of exhausting travel for a few precious hours of time with
them, but it was worth every second.
I never look back on this
time away from them with regret, as hard as it was. Instead, I see that we had
to be strong and we had to cope in the way that was right for our family. With
cancer, we had to make many difficult decisions that no one should ever have to
make, but we learned not to despair in those decisions. Instead, we learned to
take comfort in the fact that we even had the ability to make decisions at all,
and that gave us some small sense of control over a situation which
all-too-often seemed completely out of our control.
I learned a lot during this
time. I appreciated my family more. I learned to accept help from neighbors,
friends and family, and I also learned the value of making tough decisions. It
took a lot of time for us to get to a better place, but after 6 years, Heather
is still here and healthy, despite the overwhelming odds stacked against her. I
hope that our story can be a source of hope and comfort to all those currently
battling cancer.
I'll end by saying remarkably brave family and I wish you the best of luck in the future. A real pleasure posting on your behalf Cameron I hope your story can indeed bring hope and comfort to those people who need it.
