A little bit of assistance

What a day to introduce my new bike to some local trails. It's absolutely filthy, hacky and dirty out there, plus due to being over wrapped up last week I decided to cut back on the layers and ended up be rather chilly today

Out on my New Ride Specialized Turbo Levo

John doesn't need a motor LoL

So first impressions of this new fangled Specialized Turbo Levo which I got from the very friendly people over at Rutland Cycles and their Specialized Concept Store in Nottingham. It's canny! In "eco mode" it kind of brings back a recollection of what it used to feel like riding with 2 legs. The bike enables me to bimble along at a nice pace and keep up with my mates. I was not sure I had made the right choice in getting the size XL, however after a proper run out today the bike feels good under me. Using my BTK Crossover I have to say getting up and out of the saddle is effortless. I know not much to all you "Norms", however for us one legged blokes riding out the saddle takes a bit of practice. Especially to maintain your pedal revolutions and even more so if attempting to ride up an incline.

It was proper manky over on Chapman's Well

Not being entirely used to an eBike, it did take me a little amount of time to get used to the bike. I discovered on my first encounter with a steepish climb that I was in fact in a high gear and pretty much motoring up the incline. This was in "Eco Mode" too. Now normally I would be on either my granny ring or on the 11 speed Fatty in the lowest gear possible. I was still a little out of breath after the ride up past South Moor Golf Club and onto Wagtail Lane and that is because I did not want the bike to do all the work.

BTK and Bike preforming well together

In trail mode the bike is awesome, especially in the muddy areas I encountered and believe me there were lots. Due to the motor kicking in, it just gave me that little bit extra drive so that I didn't come to a stand still and then have to put my foot down.

 
Other than experimenting for a short blast in Turbo mode, to see what it was like I did not use this mode much at all today. I noticed in Turbo the motor cutting out, once I had reached the 15.5mph. Oh and I also tried pedalling with the motor off all together. It is weird as once you have been using the motor and pedal assist and you switch it off, it is like riding a bike with a flat tyre and you really feel the weight of the bike. Speaking of weight, you definitely notice it, for instance before getting to the trails I had to pop the front wheel up over a kerb. This sort of caught me off guard as the front end feels proper heavy. I suppose it's like anything else just getting used to it. On the trails the bike feels pretty planted, not sure of the tyres at this point too early to say. They did feel a bit better than my Maxxis Mammoths, which are fitted to my Fat Bike, they just offer no traction at all.
  

Set my camera up then had to push...man it was slippy

I was out with my friends Lee and John today and really enjoyed the adventure,  it's great to not have to beast myself to keep up and now that I am sat at home I don't feel wrecked. I know a lot of people bash the whole electric bike scene, as I have mentioned before, however it's horses for courses.

Moving on may as well leave you with a moan, yeah it's the whole camera thing again. It must be something to do with the bad weather as my shots recently have almost always come out either blurry, dark, grainy or generally just not up to standard. I have messed with setting etc, but once again it's a kind of fail. It is really difficult trying to take photo's when you are out and by yourself. The downside of the Hero 5 is that it does not have a timer on. Oh and I tried voice control today, however my GoPro once in it's protective case must not have been able to hear me. No amount of "GOPRO TAKE A PHOTO" was going to work. In the end it was more a case of "Awww GoPro Feck Off". I see the new Hero 7 has a few more features including a timer and also the photo quality is supposed to be better without messing with lots of settings. May have to invest.

The 3 Amigos Ride Again

As the title to my blog says "The 3 Amigos Ride Again". I cannot tell you the last time I had a ride out with both John and Lee. Put it this way it has been way too long, as this mornings local trail adventure was sooooo much fun. According to Strava we covered 14.1 miles the majority of this being off road, on either farmers trails, parts of the Chapman Wells nature reserve or in the local wooded area surrounding Chapman's and Quakies. As I still do not feel 100%, being able to get a little off the beaten track and yet stay close enough to home, so that I can bail at any point is spot on.

The 3 Amigos

A Broken Tango and a Surprise local loop

I awoke early this morning, way before my alarm went off, this gave me ample time to scoff some Crunchy Nut Cornflakes before I set off for work. Normally our back gates are left open on a night, so I can just reverse out into the back street and be on my way. Well this morning the gates were closed so I had to go open them so I could get Tango out.

After opening the gates I just happened to notice my rear valance was melted slightly and I could see the tip of my exhaust. Strange I thought. On closer inspection and a bit prod of my exhaust I discovered it was loose and just flopping around. Ahhh dammit so that is maybe the noise I have been hearing the last few weeks. I put it down to my car being so small and all these stupid speed bumps, which for my little car are like dropping off a cliff each time. I cannot avoid them like in a big car and most are very vicious, yes even when going at a relatively slow speed.

Anyhoo I had to borrow Ern's car and my dad said he would have a look at Tango for me.

 On my return from work Ern gave me the bad news my exhaust had snapped. Bloody hell I could do without that. Short story, kept short it has just cost me almost £200 for a new exhaust. Ah well the joys of motoring I guess. At least Tango is now sorted and I still love her lol.

Now to this afternoon and my very nice surprise of heading out to ride a local loop. My friend Lee called around as he was going for a short blast. I haven't seen Lee in what feels like ages, what with his shift pattern and well just life in general. So it was lovely that Lee thought of me and came around to see if I fancied a catch up and a bit of a look out.

Over at these ruins

I haven't had my Ibis out since Ern fitted the new Sram Guide brakes and my Rockshox Reverb dropper, so I decided to treat my oldest bike to a ride out. Le suggested we head off up the Farmers Trail. As we approached the trail it was water logged and very muddy. Me being me decided 'Oh I will go down the little steep gulley at the side of the gates and up the other side. My Ibis had other ideas and snagged it's front wheel on a piece of wood that was hidden in the puddle and I proceeded to fall off, with the same words I almost always use when things don't go according to plan 'Ahhhhh shit'. I fell to my Bartlett Tendon side, so nothing I could do. Clipped in with a leg that is not my own, well you get the picture. I just laughed about it with Lee, especially when Lee said 'I think I will just push my bike over'.

Lee checking out bivi spots

This afternoon was a glorious afternoon. We headed through No Place and along to Shield Row taking the back trails. From there we headed to Red Row and called into the Aston Workshop as I wanted to show Lee all the amazing cars. There were quite a few DB5's, you know like the original 007 Bond car. Lee and I commented on how cars just are not the same these days, not so much character and all made of plastics. These old cars are classics and beautiful to look at.

 


From the Aston Worshop we headed over towards Tanfield Railway and down the trail to these old like ruins. Both Lee and I are not sure what used to be here. It's a pretty area and Lee in typical Lee fashion commented 'Hey this would be a canny place to bivi'.

Glorious weather

All the pretty flowers in bloom

Enjoying the afternoon

Lee chilling with an apple

 

A few photo's nabbed and then we were off again, using the Tanfield Railway path and having to cross the Causey Arch Bridge. To think before I started riding again I had never seen the Causey Arch bridge. Once at the end of the Railway path, we cut through the factories at Tanfield and were soon on the C2C and on our way home. Only around 12 miles or so covered, but we did take in some canny banks, one of which I showed Lee. It is the footpath from Barn Hill at Shield Row and it takes you up to Stanley, coming out at the indoor market. Phewww granny gear all the way up.

When you just don't feel like going out!

The lads had been going back and forth with messages upon Facebook arranging a ride out for Saturday morning. I only sent a few short messages, saying I didn't feel like heading out, but hoped they enjoyed themselves. As the days go by I just feel weaker and weaker and everything feels like a chore.

Well Saturday morning arrived I hadn't set my alarm like I usually would and was awakened by our doorbell ringing. Thoughts ran through my head 'aww just ignore it, who ever it is will go away'. I  then thought I had better go and see who it was. As I hopped down stairs using my elbow crutches as i couldn't be arsed to pop my leg on I saw though our kitchen window that it was my friend John. I went to the back door, opened it and John came in while I made a cup of tea and had some toast. 'You not up for a ride out' John said, to which I  replied 'I'm just not feeling it mate'. Soon after our other friend Lee arrived. When Lee saw I wasn't ready he asked 'You not coming'?, again I just repeated my earlier comment to John, saying I wasn't exactly feeling good. Lee was gutted, well so was John as they love hanging with me and going for a ride. Lee always says 'I always have an adventure or something happens when I am with you'. This is pretty much true, it's very rare we go out and something either funny, interesting or bizarre happens. As I was just finishing up my toast I spotted our other friend Al pull up in his car. At this point I was feeling a bit guilty, here were all the lads and me being a pussy just because I didn't feel too good. Before All got his bike unloaded off his car I hopped upstairs and popped my bikey gear on and got ready to head out with the boys.
              

Up the mucky farmers trail with Teflon Lee

Got to love the mud

Sometimes not planning a route, turns out to be the best route.

It's been ages since I last rode with my good mate Lee. What with Lee working shifts and me never knowing where or what I am going to be up to and like everyone stuff just gets in the way from time to time.  Anyhoo Lee had given me a shout on Facebook Sunday night saying 'Hey I'm off tomorrow you up for a ride out?'. 'Sure' I replied as long as it's not an epic as I have been feeling really tired over the last week or so. In fact I hate to admit it but 2 days running I had hardly gotten out of bed. It wasn't the fact I was like sleepy tired, no more of a bone weary tired. After I had rode the 38 miles or so the other week when I went down to Tynemouth and back with my other friend John I just felt absolutely knackered and it must have lingered on. I am pretty stubborn and for me feeling like this is just not on, though I am learning sometimes I do need to give myself a break and rest and take it easy, other wise it takes even longer to get myself put right and this causes me to become even more anxious and frustrated.

Down the leafy trail

Lee

Support of your friends when you are feeling a bit down

This week has been a difficult one, what with going back to work and not exactly feeling 100%. I have felt in a low mood and add to the fact I'm a bit stressed over my forth coming treatment well it hasn't been an exactly great week. I hate it when I'm off work as I have far too much time to think and over think, then think some more and I end up becoming really tired and everything gets too much. The one thing that anyone who knows me knows is that I am very honest and I guess that goes for my blogging too. No good pretending everything is hunky dory when it's not. Sometimes things just don't work out the way you plan or stuff happens and it leaves you, well I can't even think of a word, maybe 'Lost' is as good as any.

Anyhoo after all the shit I have been through over the years I have discovered I am pretty resilient I just retreat behind my defences, learn from my experiences and try not to bring everyone else down around me. My unhappiness I pop in a little locker within my head and try not to visit it. I have always been the same I find it incredibly difficult to give myself a break yet, I'm great at shining a little light on others. My friends John and Ade have been very supportive this last week I'm not great at taking advice and tend to switch off. I have been told off by Ade as he knows I can so easily slip into hibernation mode and no one will see me for months on end.

I won on the Euro Millions this Friday and was already preparing in my head to move to Alaska, live in a cabin and become a recluse, unfortunately I don't think I can manage it on £2.90, ah well there is always next week.

My mates John and Lee were messaging me all Friday, arranging to head out on the bikes. Truth be known I just didn't feel like it. I had kind of lost my MoJo and have just been taking to my bed when I have come in from work, hiding under the quilt. I like sleeping when I can as it doesn't mean I am thinking. Anyhoo John mentioned I had to go out as a friend we had met on Facebook and who runs a group called simply 'Bike' wanted to head out with us and was eager to meet both John, Lee and myself. Not being big headed but David really wanted to meet me as he sees me as an inspiration. Again not blowing my own trumpet I get this a lot and I can't for the life of me understand why. I'm just a very ordinary guy, who makes the most of what I have got and can do. I often feel guilty as I think I have to live up to this idea of what people think I am and obviously I can't so it's a bit of a fail on my part. Again just how I perceive myself I guess, pretty sad really. On a positive I do try to be the best I possibly can and I am very warm and friendly and people do take to me pretty quickly. I am now very good at wearing this veil and hiding my true feelings and try to be bubbly and bright even when I am feeling crap, well it's not very nice bringing people down as they have their own problems and quite often as not they are ten times worse than mine.

So I decided to hook up with John and Lee and we arranged to meet David down at Rowlands Gill outside Maguire's Fish Shop the following day, Saturday at 9:00 am. I awoke pretty early and got all sorted, retrieving my Pyga from the shed. Si my bike mechanic had returned my bike all serviced and everything in good working order. I hopped on my bike and headed over the Font to retrieve some funds out of the cash machine, then decided what the hell I may as well ride up Durham Road Bank and go and meet John. Just as I got to the top there he was coming down. He greeted me with an 'Alreet mate how ye dee'in', to which he got a slightly subdued 'ahh am ok'. We then headed down the bank to call on Lee. A quick chat with Michelle, Lee's wife and we were off. Across to the farmers trail and up, the start of another adventure for the 3 Amigo's.

It didn't take us all that long to get to Rowlands Gill and we only had to wait 5 minutes or so before David turned up. It was then hand shakes all round and brief introductions oh and I grabbed a photo of us all. David saying 'aww man a hate me photo taken', tough mate when you are with me you got to have your pic taken it's how I recall memories.
 

David,John,Me and Lee

From the chippy we headed down the road and were soon on the Derwent Walk and heading up to Blackhill and Consett. It was nice taking it in turns to ride with one another and share a bit of banter. I rode much quicker and even though I was knackered today felt I did ok, it's probably because I wasn't on my Fattie which drags like hell. It was great hearing a little about David and just having a bit of fun with friends old and new. My mates mean everything to me as they are so supportive and even when I am feeling down put up with me and offer words of wisdom and encouragement. I really tried to be upbeat today as it was my first time meeting David and obviously I don't want him thinking I'm  a miserable twat.

 

Photo by John -Lee, Glenn & David

Soon we were at Blackhill, it was only like 10:10 or something so I suggested we head on up to MacDonald's for a cuppa and we could have a chat outside. Everyone was up for this so we set off again. Following on from MacDonald's we headed over to the sculptures as David wanted to grab some pictures and this is where we said our farewells. John, Lee and myself headed down towards Lanchester Way,saying what a canny lad David was. We will definitely arrange another ride out soon and David would like to meet wor Baxter and get a few photo's of him.

Just as we got down to the big red tug before the Hownsgill Viaduct I spotted a couple of lads at the side of the trail. One of them was on a  very nice Trek Farley Fat Bike, so I had to stop and say hello as you do. As I spoke to this very friendly gentleman John said 'Oh hey we have met affor man'. It turns out we had spoke to Ian once before at the Toon. he was on his other Fat bike at the time lol small world. Ian introduced us to his friend Steve and we shared a canny bit craic. Ian and Steve asking where the tea rooms where at the Gill. We showed them the way and then said goodbye, two really canny blokes, if you see this lads hope you got back safe and sound and it was great seeing you again Ian.

Steve and Ian

It didn't take us long to get down to Hurbuck Cottages and from there we joined the road  and headed along to the turn off for Stoney Heap. Here there was a canny climb, Lee was off in his typical Wiggins style, whilst John and I huffed, puffed and whined all the way up. John describing his ass as being off the Richter scale. As we rode up the bank I was his inspirational and motivational coach, saying 'you can't get off, just keep going m8, get to the next post'. A quick breather at the top and then we were off again. It didn't take long to get to Stanley a quick dodge down the Front Street past all the waifs and strays and before long Lee and I were saying bye to John. Lee and I then whizzed down the back streets of Durham Road, Lee actually slowing down for the junction this time as last time he almost went arse over tit as a car approached the road. I was shouting 'Watch oot for the road like'.

Got home and Ern was in the shed fixing kids bikes lol, his normal daily routine really.

A quick shower and it was almost time to head back up for John along with my dad and Essi my friend who has been visiting a few days. We were all going to have a ride through to the Mercedes dealership so that I could pick Tango my Smart Car up. Tango's been in to get a few bits and bobs done under a recall after the alternator belt snapped and disintegrated. A little chat to the service guy and one of the car salesman and John and I jumped in Tango. I've been getting a new radio and dear me it took me ages to connect my phone so I could play a few tunes on the way home. Soon on our way though.

I think John was impressed with the performance of my little car as it can whizz along considering it's only a 1 litre. It's such a fun little car to drive. When I got home I had a bit fanny around with the radio and think I have it sussed. I even popped a movie on a memory stick and was well impressed it plays.
 
Various stuff going on that has given me a different perspective on everything, not sure whether it's good or bad, maybe it requires more analysing, something I am very good at. I hate it when I can't fix things, me included.
 
A huge thanks to all my friends for your on going support and trying to cheer me up...Sorry this isn't as positive a post as usual, a lot going on and struggling for answers.

The End!



Oh Ps David has promised me some of his photo's as I just wasn't in the mood today.

The 3 Amigos ride again

It's been sometime since the 3 Amigo's have ridden together. I haven't seen Lee in months, what with not getting out and riding as much and then of course we all have our various jobs and different lifestyles and things to be doing. John on the other hand I see quite a bit of, well when I have been feeling well.

Anyhoo today was to be a special day and a chance for us all to have a catch up. Lee and John had done most of the arranging via Facebook and I just said "yeah I'll come along". The weather was supposed to be nice and we decided a route which would take us to Parkhead Cafe. It's round about a 37 mile there and back and the stop at the cafe halfway is always a welcome treat.
John arrived at my house for about 7:45 am and in typical fashion I was late. I always and i mean always lose something. This morning I couldn't find my Endura shorts and Arctic ONE Buff. Ern has been on sorting my inner wardrobes shelving in my room and everything is disorganised so my Ocd type layout of clothing which goes something like long sleeved shirts in colour order, short sleeved shirts with collars, T Shirts, Jeans, then casual shorts and then mountain bike gear colour organised was in total disarray. At the moment I have mountain bike gear with long sleeved dress shirts and shorts with other shorts that aren't mountain bike ones...Ok I'm going to stop writing about that as it's stressing me lol. You get the idea chaos in my room.

Eventually I discovered my Endura shorts hiding on the bottom rail and my Buff was where I had last put it in my Camelbak. Job sorted. I got my Fat Bike out and John and I headed over for Lee. Lee was almost ready and we were soon on the roll, heading over to the Font so that lee could grab a few quid out of the Post Office Speedbank.

We rode up past the entrance to South Moor Golf course and past the new housing estate, going up towards South Moor. A quick ride up Popular Street and we were soon at the bottom of the Black Path and heading up it to the top and Langley View. Soon we were over the road and up to the Morrison and his is where we got on the C2C. From there it's straight up to Parkhead, taking in Leadgate and Consett, before coming to Waskerley.
 

The 3 Amigos

Chemotherapy Treatment Round One...Ding Ding!

 Ooh a couple of days off work, for many of us this is a real treat, for me though I'd much rather be at work and just lead an ordinary hum drum sort of day. I'm never more happy than when I'm the one trying to help other people get better,recover or just try to make their day more bearable. Being a patient sucks and I have had my fair share on the side of the curtain.

When it's my turn to be a patient and I'm not feeling so good I always try to make sure I put the correct head on in the morning and be as friendly, positive and helpful as a patient can be towards the clinical staff and other patients as from personal experience it really does help things go along a lot smoother and more efficiently, hence getting you out that little bit quicker, well hopefully.

That wasn't the case today, No not because I was being stubborn or rude or had indeed incorrectly chosen my grumpy head, yes it does exist, it's way back in the darkest recesses of my wardrobe gathering dust. I don't like that head. Today was long because of the type of drug treatment I was going to be going through.

I arrived at the University Hospital of North Durham (UHND) just before my appointed time of 9:00am and was immediately introduced to the nursing staff and directed to a seat. One of the nurses  came over and checked all my details and got straight on preparing all the required gear to get me up and running. A needle was placed in the back of my left hand. Now I have had many needles popped in over the years, however the experience never gets any easier for me. I still always feel nervous,clammy and queasy. The nurse was very attentive and caring frequently asking "are you ok". I'd like to say maybe I'm really scared of needles because of a few incidents where I can recall things didn't go well. Over the years there have been a few dodgy incidents one being when I visited the old South Moor community hospital which is now no more. Having being demolished and the ground left unattended for a good few number of years. I hear more new houses will be built on the sight. This to me is a real shame as in my opinion a modern community hospital or a similar rest-bite and or hospice should have replaced the old hospital which had a really good reputation and stunning grounds. Instead no doubt there will be town houses built in a deprived area where people struggle to find work. Anyhoo getting back to the needle incident a nurse at the old South Moor Hospital I think completely missed my vein or went through it. I got like a dead arm and I'm sure she drained more than the required alotted amount, the pain was horrendous. A few days later my whole arm was tingly and went black and blue.

My next bad experience was when I was in theatre awaiting the anaesthetist. You can kind of tell things aren't going to go well when the anaesthetist enters the room, glasses on and all chirpy, introduces himself then proceeds to walk into the over head projector surgery light with a reverberating "Doinggg!" after hitting his head. I really did panic when he then went to put the needle in my hand and I heard those not so encouraging words of "Oops". The words "Oops" and clinical staff never go well together, especially when sharp instruments are involved.
Really it's just a case I'm a natural born pussy and have always been fearful. From an early age if I knew there was some sort of vaccination going on at school I would think of a way of getting the day off.

Now my technique for needle fear is look away and think of something like a shopping list, obviously not a boring food shopping list, no a bike porn shopping list. See it worked "sharp scratch" the nurse says and it's in and taped down. A quick flush with some saline and then the nurse is on taking my blood pressure.

The antibody drug Ritixumab is then placed upon my drip stand,attached and fed in ever so slowly. This drug can cause an allergic reaction and lower a patients blood pressure so has to be infused very slowly. The bendamustine which is the chemo drug can go through a lot quicker.

As I sat in the recliner chair the chemo department started to fill up. And after a while I struck up a conversation with a very nice gentleman and shortly after a lovely couple. We discussed a wide variety of topics which as you can imagine included what types of cancer we had all presented with. I have to say I was amazed at how up beat and open everyone was. The young lady of the couple asked some very interesting questions as I did of her. I like people who are like this, they quite often say "I hope you don't think I'm being rude". I don't think it's being rude to take an interest in someone it's just being inquisitive and this is how we learn and grow. I discovered the young couple just live up the road from me in my good friends Lee and Michelle's estate so I fully intend to take them up on their offer and call in and see them at some point. I would love to introduce them to Lee and Michelle as they are genuine friendly salt of the earth people and what with Michelle kicking cancer's ass in her brave fight last year well it gives us all common ground. People don't realise that cancer doesn't just effect the person who has it, it effects whole families and close friends too. For me speaking as someone caring for my mam when she had terminal pancreatic cancer I can't describe the emotional roller coaster and the feelings of guilt and anger I went through. Of course I was also very proud when I heard my dad tell people of how  proud he was of how I cared for my mam in her final weeks. When we lost my mam it was a huge devastaing loss, however I took something positive from her passing and I use it almost everyday in my current job. Compassion and care and looking at how I can do the best for people. I know my mam would approve of this and be so very proud to see that although I was never going to be a high flyer I am happy in what I do and how I try to make a difference.

Today was one long session, 7 hours sat in a reclined chair does your back no good at all. As I'm sat here typing this up I can honestly say that the worst thing about today is my back, it's aching like hell tonight. So No not the sickness so far it's early days but I have none. Yes I'm tired, but hey that may be that I have been feeling tired for months now anyhoo. I did have a bit of a headache when I left the treatment and also felt a tad light headed, a good long doze cured that when I got in after having something to eat.

I now have lots of other meds to take at home. Steroids, ant- sickness meds and more anti-sickness meds in case the first ones don't work. Oh and the ones I'm going to hate taking which are anti-biotics. I will be on these the length of my treatment 6 months, then have to take a further 6 month course.

Tomorrow is round 2 at 11am, it shouldn't take as long as it's just the chemo treatment. Then I'm off for a month before round 3 and 4 start.

I have been given advice on do's and don'ts. Things like not mixing with people with infections and being more careful should I go out mountain biking. I have a habit of getting scrapes and scratches so ill have to be aware of these and try and watch what I'm doing. I caught my leg on a wire fence pole when out with John last week and got a big scrape. Any other time it would be considered innocuous, I will now have to think just that little bit more and take a tad more care.

I will write more for hose of you who are interested, trying to keep it light, but real.

I will end with my  Virgin Just Giving Page. I'm not asking for donations for myself but my chosen charity Arctic ONE who have been of immense support to me. Arctic ONE helped fund raise to get me a running prosthesis and obviously I'm gutted I can't take part in this years Arctic ONE Tri- festival at Dorney Lake. I know this has been out of my control, never the less I still feel a sense of failure and guilt at letting everyone down. That includes my friend Brian Bartlett who always writes such inspiring mails to me. Pace Rehab for their tireless  work, Bike Swanky who sponsor me on my PYGA and of course Arctic ONE. I have had great words of encouragement from all these people and I guess that support epitomises what these people represent. Of course what they get from me is they know I will never quit and I write a lot...I mean a lot. It only takes one person to say something that then sparks an interest in someone else and before you know it people are sharing info and ideas and looking at positive ways to help support or change things for the better. Well that's what I hope happens when I write, you guys are the judge of that.

A huge thank you to everyone you, help to make me who I am and life's battles appear easy with friends at your side.

Kielder with friends old and new...

What a cracking Crew

 Right to Left -Steven Hackworth ,John Chambers,Al Roberts,Luke Troy,Mark Boon Purvis, Steve (Scotty) Scott,Kevin Turner, Carl,Mark Eagan, Glenn Johnstone,Lee Sheridan,Ian Carr, Davey (twice around) Purvis.

My friend Al said

As you will see it's been a little while since I last wrote a blog. There's been a lot going on, however it's not really been stuff I've felt like writing about as it's been mainly depressing,sucky and bad stuff. My friend Al says I should still write about this kind of stuff as it gives other people and insight into how things aren't always rosey, even though I am very lucky in being able to do more than most what with having great support and sponsorship in my prosthetic needs and being also supported in my future endeavours. Al went on to say I wouldn't be surprised at just how many people may relate to how I go through things and then  always find the strength to bounce back. I have to admit at the moment I don't feel very bouncy, never the less here I am. As I have said in the past, popping stuff down also helps me reflect a little and can help me figure out just where I'm going and what I should be doing to get there.

This of course won't be one of my most exciting blogs, however I do hope for those that read it you can see that all I am trying to get across is that there is light at the end of any tunnel.

One of the hardest things for me when I'm feeling depressed less than motivated, un-enthusiastic or can be bothered to do anything is knowing I'm being an asshole. It's as if I can step out of my own body mentally and I'm screaming to myself "Omg just pull yourself together, your an absolute nightmare to be around and I don't like you". I suppose this message must get through, however it doesn't pull me out of my mood, no it just makes me realise that yeah actually I am not much fun to be around so I tend to cut people off, don't go out as much, don't blog, don't Facebook, in fact I don't do much.I guess I don't want to be a burden and if I can't stand being around me, then why should other people have to put up with me. It's weird as it almost always happens around winter time. It's like some seasonal clock that ticks away and then come that time of year bang, happy head off, root around in the bottom of the wardrobe and pop on my seasonal downer head.

Even as I write this I'm thinking "yeah but it doesn't have to be that way" and "hold on a minute give yourself a break, there has been a lot of shit going on over the last few weeks". Anyhoo the purpose of my blog isn't to have you all feeling sorry for me, but I suppose it is a bit of a place to share what's going on in my life and that of some of my family and friends and of course that isn't always going to be good stuff all the time.

As anyone who reads my blog will know I lost my best friend a few weeks ago. Mr Hink's has been such a miss around our house. Well this didn't help how I was feeling. Following that I discovered I had 3 lymph nodes up in my neck. One of which has been there for years, right in my clavicle area. I hadn't ever been able to feel it before, even though it was the first one I was diagnosed with way back in 2008. Now though it's up and I can feel it. They are quite small, only being around 1cm in diameter. I managed to get in and see the specialist, had bloods taken and everything appears ok. I do have to keep going back for more regular check ups. You know what scares me the most about this Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma? It's not the treatment or the disease, No it's the recovery period. I hate it when your relatively healthy and then you have that whole period of illness. Recovering is the hardest part. But anyhoo lets not spend valuable time wasting energy pondering something that hasn't even happened. Something I have learned is that way too many people live in the past with the what ifs or wishing they had done something different, or look to the future planning ahead for events which may never happen.The "Right Now" totally slips by and they are unaware's, and its the Right Now which really counts.

A good few weeks ago both Al and myself decided to go biving.  John and Lee our other friends couldn't join us, John having done something to his back and being in lots of pain and Lee having just undergone surgery for a hernia. So Al and I set off ourselves and camped up at Smiddy Shore. I didn't blog about it as this was the start of me feeling crap. Anyhoo that night we were camping out I realised I had forgotten to bring my medication for my phantom pain. I had left it in my other back pack. "aww never mind I will get some tomorrow when I get home". So biving trip over I was feeling decidedly unhappy. My riding socket had rubbed me raw for some reason all the way up and all the way back home so I had a nasty sore on my hip. At the moment I'm riding with a check socket that Pace has made me and as with any check socket it's a temporary thing to iron out the areas where it's not fitting and then when this is sorted move onto what should be a comfortable final socket. So moving on I get home and figure "you know what my phantom pain isn't that bad I'm just going to quit my Pregablin". Now I should have known better as I once did exactly the same thing with another neuro drug back around 2009/10 and it sent me mental.

So long story short over the last few weeks I have done cold turkey coming off these bloody awful tablets. I've had all the usual withdrawals, but at least now I am drug free and aim to try and keep it that way. Yeah I have phantom pain and it's horrible, but I would much prefer to have the pain than be addicted to something that screws with my mind and even when I'm taking them doesn't do a great deal to help.

Well anyway there is a little insight into why I haven't been around. If anything I hope anyone who comes across my blog and reads stuff like this can see that just because I have all this good stuff going on, what with being sponsored by both Pace Rehabilitation and Brian Bartlett and then of course also being aided in my fund raising to help get me a running blade by Arctic ONE, that everyone can go through dodgy patches in their lives. Everyone is entitled to feel a little sorry for themselves. Saying that I would be a hypocrite if I didn't then go on to say one of my mantras in life is "that out of every negative, there is a positive, you just have to look hard enough". So what is it in this case? Well I don't have to think too long and I can come up with lots. For one when you're on the bottom the only way is up. When your down, you discover what good family and  friends you have, oh and you also discover that people don't just like you because you try to put on this act of being happy all the time and being the life and sole of the party. They like you for you and all your quirks.

I've found it's been really helpful chatting to my various friends near and far and when they ask "Hey Glenn how are you doing?", instead of replying in typical fashion "Oh yeah I'm ok thanks", actually saying "you know what I haven't been feeling so good". I guess I'm of the opinion if no one really knows then how can anyone help.

After all sometimes all we need is a friendly ear and someone to talk things through with,someone who doesn't say "pull yourself together and stop feeling sorry for yourself", but rather says "well we are here for you".

It's to those people I say a huge thank you too...

Thanks Michelle for treating us to a fantastic Bush crafting experience.

Quite sometime ago my friend Michelle bought Lee (Michelle's husband), our friend John and I a lovely surprise gift. It was a days taster course on Bushcrafting. This is where you learn to use skills in order to set up a camp. Things like making, constructing and putting up shelters, how to light and make a fire and one of the most important things how to obtain safe drinking water from different sources.

Well yesterday was the pre-arranged day for our Bushcrafting adventure. John had decided he didn't fancy going, which was a shame as we had a fantastic day and learnt lots, even though we only had a short period of time with the instructors. So rather than just waste the place our friend Al jumped at the opportunity to come along and expand his knowledge of playing in the great outdoors.

Al and Lee at Kirkley Hall

Lee called for me around 8:30AM and we had a lovely leisurely drive up to Kirkley Hall, which is in Ponteland. There we met Al and had a few moments to have a chat and also meet some other adventurers as we waited. After a little time had passed we figured we must be in the wrong area as time was getting on and we hadn't really seen anyone else. So we asked this very friendly lady just where abouts the Bush-craft course people may be.The lady directed us down through the car park and towards the woods and there we found a larger group of people and some of the instructors, Ron and Margaret.

Ron and Margaret gathered a few details from all of the group and explained a little about how the course would be ran and then we were off walking down an incline and some steps and into the woods, all very scenic.

Once in the woods there were cups of tea and coffee available and we where introduced to a few more instructors who were going to be helping with the Bushcrafting activities. There was Steve and Ron's son Alex.  The group of people attending the day was quite large so we were split into 3 groups of 7. This was great as it gave us all a chance to meet new people and really enjoy our successes and of course all have a laugh at our failings, of which I have to say there were few. Ron decided we should give our individual groups, names based on Indian themes. This is because he particularly likes the history of the Native American Indians, their use of the land and the tools and weapons they chose to use all those years ago. Ron is very much into archery, knife throwing and the use of a tomahawk and he has passed this passion down to his son Alex. The names of the tribes each group came up with were The Mow-hawks, The big Wood Tribe and the tribe I was in was called the Running Stream.

Each tribe then set off with an instructor to learn about different aspects of Bush-crafting. Our Tribe Running Stream, got Steve firstly as our instructor. We were to learn about shelters. Steve did an excellent job of testing our knowledge and then going on to explain how and why each shelter was made in a different way. Steve showed us an array of different knots, taking time to go over each one and if anyone got stuck helping out and offering top tips. It was a really good exercise in both team building and gaining valuable knowledge of how to construct a basic shelter within minutes. Top marks to Steve he was awesome, and like all the instructors on the day very likeable and easy to get along with.

We all thanked Steve and then broke for lunch. I decided to opt for a nice cup of coffee to go with my pre-prepared Nutella and carved chicken baby bread, fruit loaf sandwiches. It was great just sitting around the camp fire sharing stories and experiences with everyone. Me well I seem to talk more than most, in fact it's something I'm becoming increasingly aware of and at times I feel I should reign myself in. I don't know if it's because I'm getting overly confident these days or the opposite I'm quite afraid so I just waffle on about anything or nothing in particular. For those who know me I can't win as if I'm quiet I'm in a huff or sulking and when I'm chatting all the time I must be annoying. It's weird what you think of when your just typing away lol.

Lee checking for a saggy bottom

Lee chuffed his bottom isn't sagging

  After lunch we set off with Alex,who was going to teach us all about fires,. The best materials and tools to use to create a fire. Firstly Alex showed us what small kindling we would need to collect in order to get our fire going. We were asked to head off into the woods and collect 2 bundles of kindling each. Fine pine tree branches work best as they ignite well and the sap within the branches helps the fire burn. On our return Alex asked us all to take a seat and he meticulously went through various tinder's, how to make or prepare them and different methods of igniting a fire. We got to practice with fire steels as well as a metal striker and traditional flint. Then there was the old fashioned playground method of igniting a piece of Charred cotton, using a magnifying glass and the rays of the sun, Alex even used an old 9 volt battery and some wire wool in his demonstration. After Alex's demonstration we all got the opportunity to practice making our own fire, using a firesteel and a small amount of cotton wool which we rubbed Vaseline into. This makes for a great method of starting a fire and is very easy. Before long we all had fires of varying size and were all pretty proud of ourselves. Alex did a great job of teaching us all, he took time to answer our questions all the while making the exercise fun, informative and safe. Again top marks.

 

Ho Ho I have created Fire!

Al got well into it so

Blow Al Blow

Lee and Alex

Having a chat around the camp fires

Our next exercise was in water filtration and this was led by Ron.  As many of you will know water is very heavy when your attempting to carry it. I know a great deal of my overall back pack or Bike Bag Dude Frame bag weight is in carrying 3 litres of water, so being able to source water if or when you are on a long trip is a valuable piece of knowledge. I found this part of the course very interesting indeed. Ron went through lots of different ways in which we could source water and then the dangers of drinking from certain places, how we could utilise both natural and man made items such as reeds, socks, denim jeans,bottles, polythene bags, charcoal, sand and the list goes on, all to help make filtration devices to make the water safe for drinking or in order to collect safe drinking water.. More very useful information and definitely something I think we can and will put into practice as we plan for our adventure next year. 

Finally we joined up with Margaret who had a real treat in store for us. We were going to make Bannock Bread. Margaret handed us the ingredients and the small mixing bowls. It was my job to mix up the stuff for Lee Al and myself. I commented that the bread would be nice with raisins and Margaret just happened to have some, as well as some cinnamon, so I popped these in. Once mixed I attached the dough to a stick and spread it out evenly and Lee baked the bread over the open fire. it only took around 10 to 15 minutes and when done the bread tasted amazing.

Making Bannock Bread Mmmmmm!

"What are you boys doing!"

Lee giving the sign of his approval

 Wow the day had gone so quick and we had all thoroughly enjoyed it. This was just what they call a taster session, obviously you couldn't learn everything in one day. I have to say though I learnt so much in that short space of time and the guys over at Taught in the Woods  were all simply fantastic, so a huge thank you to Ron,Alex, Margaret and Steve. If your into the great outdoors I can't recommend doing something like this enough.

In ending a Huge thank you to Michelle for arranging the day out, we all had an awesome day. I will be giving you a huge hug and a few kisses when I see you next xXx

I don't care what the weather man says When the weatherman says it's raining!

" I don't care what the weather man says.When the weatherman says it's raining". Well that's not exactly true, especially when the weatherman or lady says it's only going to rain intermittently maybe for an hour or so and it turns out that it actually persistently continues to persist to piss down non stop.

I'm a Firestarter

Really enjoyable, yet slightly stressful weekend.

This weekend as I write has been a mixture of great up's and what is now a prolonged down. The up's being able to hang with one of my newer friends Al and go out on a great ride with him on Saturday, showing him my local area. Then today, Sunday having a very enjoyable roadie adventure (only  slightly marred by the bane of my life Strava and it not mapping my data or ride)  The down and what's stressing me out is that Mr Hink's is still not himself and has worsened and I'm really concerned. I've been holding off going to the vets as last time he picked up and the swelling around his neck went down. But come tomorrow I have asked Ern to get an appointment asap as our little lad, (well he's not so little due to the steroids he's on, Mr Hink's is getting increasingly fatter) just isn't very well. His neck is very swollen and it appears like fluid around his glands, he is also so lethargic. The only thing that hasn't changed is that he is still greedy and can hear the rustle of a crisp packet at 20 paces, it just takes him longer to get to you to scrounge a crisp.

Anyhoo I try to make my blog as positive as possible but thought I'd share my worries as although it's not the same as chatting to a friend, when I write stuff down it does seem to help as I feel everyone that reads my little tales does it because in some way they want to support me and in doing so also care about poor Mr Hink's.

Whilst out with Al I thought I'd lump my big camera around and practice with it some more. I really should be grabbing more shots I don't take half as many as I used to. Generally I see something I want to shoot, but it disappears in the blink of an eye and I don't have time to capture it. I'm not a great photographer, but I do have a keen eye, well at least for what I like.

The Farmer's Trail

A spot of afternoon Geo-caching with friendly folk along the way...

            In from work a quick text to Lee to let him know I'm home and will be over to his house as soon as I get changed and get all my bike bits and bobs sorted. I knew we were just going for a nice relaxed ride locally so thought I'd take my big camera today and try and see if I could get some shots. Really it's just about practising with it, truth be known I don't have the patience. If something doesn't exactly work out of the box in my opinion it's broke. I'm one of those blokes that's more hands on. I hate reading instructions and find it boring when anyone tries toy explain to me about photography, what with ISO's, F Stops, apertures....Yawn! You get the picture. Point and click is about my stamp and I have to say in the past I have done ok.

Once at Lee's and he has his stuff sorted we head off along and up the Farmers Trail, it's a lovely day for riding, the sun is out and there is a slight breeze. Lee has an idea where he wants to go, however I persuade him to follow me as I want to show him some new trails locally. Lee's a dead funny lad, he always has this idea of where he wants to go and when someone takes him off the beaten track he kind of becomes uncomfortable. Maybe it's not on his Garmin which he rely's on so much, it always makes me chuckle to myself. Anyhoo Lee follows my lead and as we ride up different trails he comments on "Oh I've been on here" or better still "Ave neva been along here it's beautiful". This is what I like to hear, it's great taking people to new areas and letting them see that we live in such a pretty area when you get just outside of the hustle and bustle of our town.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Overlooking the pond

Some pretty flowers near the waters edge

 

I show Lee parts of Beamish Woods he has never seen before and and of course some he has. As we pass the big pond I take the opportunity to practice with my camera. We  then work our way along to the forges. In the Woods there is one particular sweet spot of technical riding. I am very pleased with myself today as I only had to get off once for this tricky section that was on a camber, and up a incline, covered in tree roots. I managed all the technical climbs, in and out of the trees and only fell off once, not being able to put my leg down on my Bartlett Tendon side.

Lee enjoying the beautiful quiet area

Pics a little blurry, but hey just practising!

Lee coming through the techy trail

 

As we approach the Forges and Ousburgh Woods I give Lee a quick history lesson about the area. Lee is very interested in local history and he appreciates my small amount of knowledge. As we ride into Ousburgh I take the path that leads through the ford and stream as Lee heads over the foot bridge.
 
Once in the woods fully Lee is blown away by how beautiful the area is, all the ancient trees, the stream or burn as we call it and all the flowers, butterflies and other bits and pieces you expect to see on a sunny day in the woods. Lee comments on how he will now make this one of his more regular routes. It is really pretty and serene in these woods. As we come out at the other end we get on to a small road and have to climb a rather steep bank. At the moment I'm trying to practice more and more riding up hill out of the saddle using my Bartlett Tendon, why you may ask? Well I was contacted by a guy who asked is it possible to ride out the saddle up a hill. Yes it is, however it requires quite a bit of practice and energy. You have to concentrate on getting your pedal stroke right, keep your balance and have good endurance. My aim at some point is to make a small video of me riding up a few banks or hills. But hey that's for another day.

A short ride up the road and Lee says "hey why don't we cut down here and get onto the Bowes Railway Line, it will make our ride just that bit longer". So off we go down this road to our right looking for the sign post for the Bowes Railway path. It's not too far down the road, we both have to man handle our bikes through one of those stupid gates, you know the ones to stop motorcycles, the ones that actually don't really stop them at all, they just hinder everyone else. Anyhoo Lee is off up the path, me I stop as I see an interesting sculpture and get off my bike, then position it next to the stone sculpture and proceed to get some snaps.

Sandman Hoggar Ti

  I take a few pics and then just as I'm about to get on my bike a lady with a dog comes my way. "Ooh I will wait until you get away" she says "Otherwise he may chase after you". Just as I step over my bike and get in position the lady says "Eeeeh your amazing, riding a mountain bike and you've only one leg...amazing". "Aww thanks" I say and we go on to have a very pleasant little chat. I always appreciate and respect the people who are not stand offish and have the confidence to ask or take an interest when they see someone who maybe a little different. As I set off to leave I tell the lady my name "Oh I'm Glenn by the way" to which she replies "Oh Hi I'm Julie". " We are having a charity do at the Schooner in Gateshead" I say "your welcome to come along", then I'm on my way to catch up with Lee.

He is at the top of the road, having scoffed his banana whilst waiting for me. We then head over to another place I want to show Lee for a little jaunt. This is called "Hedley Hall Woods" I tell him and we again have to manoeuvre our bikes through a daft gate. It's just a little loop, but this place is lovely and quiet. I'm not sure if you are supposed to ride bikes here. I couldn't see any DO NOT RIDE signs, so that's good enough for me. Lee takes my camera and grabs a few shots of me and then we complete the loop, dismounting at the gate. As we approach the gate there is a man coming the other way. Awww crap is he going to be a cock, we have a 50/50 chance. This bloke turns out to be class he opens the gate for us and spends a bit time having a chat. Lee finds him amusing as this bloke is swearing like a trooper. We get on about how certain people can be stuck up and whine about us riding our bikes and he backs us up saying "you should just tell them to"...well the first word starts with "F" and the second is "off", I take it we have his approval to ride on.

Riding in Hedley Hall Woods

Out the saddle on the trail

Having fun

Back on the road for a wee while I spot a combine harvester in the field and see a shot I want to take, unfortunately it takes me ages to get my camera out of my back pack so I miss it. I did manage to get one or two, but not the ones I wanted.
 

I got a brand new combine Harvester I do

 

 Continuing up the road, we come onto the Causey Arch Road and then head up towards Tanfield Railway. Lee wants to look for a geo-cache nearby and also has an idea where to stash one of his own. We spend a little time down near the train sheds, just looking around and had a small chat to some volunteers as they were leaving. Time to head off in search of this geo-cache.

Lee getting ready to blitz down the trail

Off he goes

A little way down the trail and Lee says "it should be somewhere around here". The clue is something about used to be a tree, but now is wood or something like that. I got it in my head that the cache would be in a tree stump. We searched for quite sometime both getting nettled yet again, it's a regular occurrence with us now. I then spotted what appeared to be like an old railway sleeper and some other bits of wood right in the undergrowth, behind this small tree, or bush. "I reckon it's in there somewhere I said" and so we both headed into this tricky spot, what with nettles and prickly bushes, it was a proper nightmare. As I got near the wood and had a good look I spotted a small container fixed to a wooden post. "there it is Lee", "Lee jokingly saying his now favourite phrase when geo-caching "awww man it's never me" and we both shared a laugh.

Geo-cache logged we set off to find a spot for our own. Again Lee off in the distance me trailing behind. I stopped as I saw a lovely photo opportunity and "agggghhhh, again missed it". That's the only thing about riding and having something like a 35mm camera, it takes ages to get your back pack off and then take the shot. Anyhoo I'll just explain the scene. A beautiful golden field, that had been cut recently,blue skies and the sun at just the right angle to make the field glow. There was a group of crows I think you call it a murder. Did you know that you call a group of ravens an unkindness or a conspiracy. As I approached they were all in a huddle, then as I stopped to take of my back pack they all bloody flew away. My idea was to get a shot of my bike with the golden field in the background then clap or shout and get the crows to fly...Oh yes I'm very creative in my own mind at least lol. Never mind you just have to make do with a picture of my bike and no birds.

Dang it missed the real shot, this one will have to do

Lee was now at these local ruins. He was searching for a good spot to put our cache. I said "what about those stairs" ( there were some old stairs remaining in the derelict buildings). Well the next 15 minutes or so were spent trying to discover a path way to get to these stairs without being nettled. The bloody things were everywhere. Finally I found a path, however we had to walk all the way back around the field and come in from the other side. Even this path to the stairs was like "Nettle city" as Lee put it. We spent another 5 minutes or so deciding on a good spot and then a clue. I suggested a good spot to Lee and he got nettled yet again in the process of putting the container in position and covering it up. I then came up with what I thought was a good clue..."Stop and stair-down and West". Get it "Stair instead of Stare". I tell you I'm a genius lol.

A pretty Thistle

WoW this was scary I hate heights

At the top now time to sit down before I fall off lol

The derelict building with stairs

   Ok job done. I inform Lee "I'm starving" it's time to head home. All I have had all day is 2 Nutella and baby bread slices, oh and one of Jennifer from work's delicious buns. We set off in the general direction of home, nettled to bits but content, it's been a "canny ride" (Lee pulls the water out of me as apparently he says this is how I rate everything "canny like")  As we head down the trail towards this little country lane that will take us up the steep bank and the level crossing at Tanfield Railway we notice a man scavenging in all this rubbish. We exchange pleasantries, however I am not happy at what I see. Whilst this guy isn't doing anything wrong I am very annoyed that someone else has fly tipped in this area. There was already a pile of rubbish that had been tipped about a year ago, and now this other pile of crap. Both Lee and I got off our bikes , like I say I was proper mad. I asked the lad "do you mind if I have a quick look through the stuff" to which he replied "No of course not". I wanted to see if I could find any paper work or receipts because if I had I could hand these in to the Police or council as I think people who do this kind of stuff should be heavily fined, it's disrespectful,lazy and can cause harm to the environment and wild life. It had been quite obviously some kind of builder who had dropped off all this rubbish as there were screws,saws, old bottles of glue and other solvents, drill bits, pieces of old wood and alls sorts of other building stuff, way too much to list. I decided to call the police on 101 and they said unless I had seen the incident it was a council matter and they would try and put me through.

Anyhoo long story short, well looking at my blog, Long I have rang Gateshead Council  today and explained about the fly tipping site and they are going to arrange to have it cleared up within 7 days...Result.

I'll have a little rant now... Ok cyclist's always seem  to get a bad rap, expecially mountain bikers. We are told we can't ride here or there, based on laws about footpath's that go back to the middle ages. Yet in my opinion we actually take more care of the environment and our surroundings than the majority of other people. We face constant flak from whiney people who prefer to go around polluting the place with motor vehicles or letting their dogs poop all over trails. My biggest bug bear being those people who actually pick up their dog crap then proceed to scatter the bags all over the countryside as they can't be arsed to find a bin. Omg you have done the hard part just take it with you and dispose of it properly. Ok that's me done I feel loads better now and will continue to ride where I like in a respectful, non-threatening manner lol