In the local rag

In order for me to help others, I must first help myself...

Of course, this also includes the support of so many kind people who have helped me from when I first became ill, right up to the present.

I am going to be honest and say I have found it really difficult asking people for donations to help me achieve my goal of running. It doesn't sit well with me, I much prefer to be giving my time and raising awareness for other people.

Many people I suppose will see my getting a running blade as "Just another hobby", or "why should he get all this attention and free stuff". I suppose I would answer that with "Yes I am very fortunate, however I have worked really hard to accomplish my goals" I have never once said "why did this happen to me". For me, it's just part of my life. Terrible stuff happens to people every day, I am one of the lucky ones who can still get out there and do what I want to do. In some cases it can be tough, real tough, as prosthetics are very expensive. I had for a long time to give up on the idea of ever being able to run, instead using a favourite saying of mine, which is "concentrate on the things you can do".

Anyhoo after having my first ever trip abroad last September and meeting my friend Shannon's prosthetist, Scott. I was advised to contact the Challenged Athletes Foundation, which is based in the US. I did this pretty much on my return, completing an on-line application form and asking both my boss at work Dan and my prosthetist over at Pace Rehabilitation Toby for references. I was blown away by the support I got from these two guys as they wrote absolutely fantastic references, so good in fact that when I read them back I thought "Wow who is this guy" (yeah I have a habit of being overly critical of myself and sometimes don't see what others see in me). It's an awesome feeling to know you have the backing of people you really admire and respect.

About a week after sending in my application, I got a mail back saying unfortunately the Challenged Athletes Foundation wouldn't be able to approve my application as they were not supporting International Athletes at this time. "Ahh well" I thought, at least I gave it a shot. I'll just concentrate on my riding. I'm a very lucky chap as I am sponsored on my Bartlett Tendon Knee and I also receive much appreciated and excellent care from Pace Rehab who have looked after me from very early on after my amputation.

Time passed by, probably 6 to 7 months, and I was booked in for an appointment to attend Pace's new satellite clinic right here in the North East in Newcastle. Toby sent me a mail to confirm my appointment, however he also asked "has CAF been in touch with you?" To which I answered "No". It was at this point Toby informed me I had been approved for a Ossur Flex Run blade, complete with Nike sole. Awesome!!! Obviously as Pace was already supporting me with what is essentially a £10K cycling limb, they couldn't then just give me the rest of the components to complete a running prosthesis. This is where the fund-raising would come into play. Yeah! I wasn't keen on the idea, however I knew I couldn't let the opportunity slip away without trying. So firstly, I had to convince myself. My way of thinking being like my opening statement "In order for me to help others I must first help myself".

Fund-raising, wow, how am I going to go about this? That's when Toby suggested contacting Arctic ONE. Well it was weird as actually Matt Kirby the founder and one of the trustees from Arctic ONE got in touch with me. Matt explained that he had been watching me for some time and was an avid reader of my blog. Matt thought we could help each other out. Arctic ONE would fund-raise on my behalf, and I could promote and attend Arctic ONE's amazingly organise events.  And this is how I have came to be entered in my first triathlon on the 23rd of August down in Eton in Berkshire at Dorney Lake.

My grant application runs out from CAF on the 31st of December and I need to raise roughly £8500 to get me up and running.

This is a huge challenge for me. I have only just got back to swimming after 20 years and as far as running goes, well I can't even jog at the moment in my ordinary everyday leg. I can't wait to learn to run and from there know that every step I take will be in getting someone else to where they want to be.

A huge thank you to Gavin and Tom for their newspaper report and images and allowing people to read a little about my story.

Thanks everyone for your support.

Article can be found here Consett and Stanley Advertiser

The Northern Echo 

Our adventure to take part in the Skyride at Newcastle and Gateshead

During the week I got a message off my friend John, "I've entered us for the Skyride, down at the Toon, it's free and you don't have to go if you don't want to" he said. "Ahh why not I thought, nothing really planned for Saturday and it may take my mind off of worrying about Mr Hink's for a while. For those of you who don't know Mr Hink's hasn't been well for a few weeks and had a blood test on Thursday, so waiting for the results this coming Tuesday. Fingers crossed it comes back negative.

Our other friend Lee was supposed to be joining us on the ride, however during the week he informed us he wasn't able to go as he was having probs with his forks. This was a real shame and we missed Lee on the day. It's been a really strange year riding wise for me when I look back, why? well because I had become so used to riding all alone, then all of a sudden I get these great riding buddies and now when we aren't all together it's just not the same.

As this was a free event and not that far really I decided to ask Kyle if he fancied tagging along, offering him the loan of my Ibis. Kyle wasn't to sure saying "I'll see what the weather is like on Saturday morning". Well Saturday morning arrived and I poked my head around Kyle's door, "you coming or what". "Aye gan on then" he said, even before he looked out of the window. We both got ready and went downstairs to grab the rest of our gear. Just then John arrived. "It's spitting on a bit" he says. I replaced my everyday limb for my Bartlett Tendon,complete with my check socket which Pace have been working on and we all headed out to get the bikes. Just then it started going from spitting down to absolutely lashing down. As we stood in our shed, the rain belting off the roof we all agreed "yep we are pretty mad for wanting to go out in weather like this". That said when a ride is planned what's a little rain huh? Plus we had arranged to meet our new buddy Al down at the Skyride.

Lee, John and myself met Al whilst out on one of our other adventures, he was ever so kind to us as we had gotten lost from one another and he provided us with water and introduced us to his lovely wife Sarah. It' weird how you meet people in life and then how you can go on to become part of their lives and they can share in yours. One of the most enjoyable parts of riding for me is actually meeting friendly people.

So off John, Kyle and myself go, heading up...Come on guess? What you give in? That's right the Farmers Trail. If this weather keeps up I'm going to have to pop my Nate's back on as I was squirming up the trail as it was so slick, Phew! it was hard work, kind of like 1 pedal stroke forward and then 3 stationary lol The ride down into No Place was fun, all downhill. As I got into No Place I had to stop, for some reason my stump was really hurting and it felt knackered. John was a bit concerned and asked did I just want to go home, as I was in a canny bit pain. But I said no, lets carry on and see if it wears off.

By the time we crossed the main new road, or the Chester bypass and got onto the bit single track it was feeling a tad better. The trail was water logged and both Kyle and I blasted down through the large puddles getting filthy and if we could have gotten much wetter we probably did so there. As John finally caught up I said "where you been?" John had taken ages to get down the trail. "I didn't want to get me arse wet" he says. Omg John it's persistently raining your going to get wet lol.

A quick ride along to the Tanfield Railway path and we are scooting along the trail, it's a bit more sheltered by the trees here, however the trail is a bit deceiving as all the undergrowth  is hampering the path. At one point I almost crashed headlong into a bench that was hiding around a corner, hidden by long weeds. Over the Causey Arch Bridge and back onto the Causey road. Before long we are back out at Tanfield Railway and head along that section of trail. This is where John tried to have me killed. As we came to the main road, John rode over to head down the back of Sunnyside. I shouts over to him as he crossed the road, "Clear" to which he said "Aye". I was just about to head over when this geet big mini bus comes around the bend and had to hop off my bike. I'm going to have to watch that mister Chambers, sure he thinks I've left him something in my will.

John still isn't keen on going to fast, because of the splashes, so i go tearing off past him and shoot down the back of Watergate, coming out at the traffic lights, press the button wait a few seconds then I'm over and straight down the bank into Watergate Park.

As I cross the small bridge where the water from the pond/lake flows towards the waterfall I see all the tributes to the young lad who was killed in the Park just the other week. Kind of reminds you  when you're out having fun how precious life is.

I wait for Kyle and John at the end of the Park and we follow the Tanfield Railway signs down, crossing over the foot bridge which goes over the A1. From here it's down through the housing estate and before you know it we are out at Dunston. A little further on and we come out at the Dunston Staithes and from here it's a ride along the riverside, a quick blast over the swing bridge and yay we are on the Quayside and at the Skyride.

John's login doesn't work, you know those dft things you get on your phone with little square type thiny's. That's technology for you huh? We all have to register again. We the  receive a lanyard with our entery details, a free bottle and a loomy Skyride bib, awww great it will cover my filthy jacket as honest I looked like I had been on some commando mission.

After I had a very nice chat with one of the security guards as I admired Froome and Wiggins bikes we met up with my dad and my other friend Ade who had decided to come down to try and catch a few shots.

It was then time to head to the start. Al was no where to be seen, however just as we got to the start John had a call and he told Al where we were and he showed up to join us just before we set off. Everyone started ringing their bells which was a terrific sound, made me feel a boit left out as i don't have a bell, well I'm hard core aren't I lol. Never mind "ding ding" and we are off. Kyle was a way, thinking he was in the Tour De Newcastle, "it's a ride you plonker not a bloody sprint around the Toon". Al and myself soon lost John, this was because John had decided to ride around the whole course one handed as he had his camera in the other hand. When Al and I had completed one lap we saw wor Kyle waiting. We couldn't figure out where the finish line was so went for another lap.

On one section there was the opportunity to do a 200m sprint race against a friend. I could tell wor Kyle wanted to race me. I had about a 10 foot head start as I was trying to keep my balance and track stand, then we were off. Yeah he beat me, but it was real funny to hear him say as we rode along together "bloody hell I'm knackered" as I left him in my wake. Kids these days no endurance lol.

So after completing two laps we all hooked up just over from the Millennium Bridge and the Baltic. We shared a bit of craic then said our goodbye's. I've arranged for Al to come over to my neck of the woods Thursday to head out for a ride, hopefully Lee can join us as John can't as he is at some stupid waste of time Job Centre training.

When we got to Watergate Park, we were supposed to meet Ade and my dad, just to grab some more pics, however they took ages top arrive. In the end my dad came and I phoned Ade saying we were cold and just going to head straight back. Kyle was sore so he decided to get a lift home with his grandad. Again no stamina these young'uns lol. Both John and I gave him a bit stick, fair do's he had done well really as he hasn't been riding regularly. A nice ride home, my bloddy Strava not recording as usual , though John said we did 30.4 miles, so not a bad Saturday at all. The weather was more or less the same as when we left Mordor in the morning...raining and miserable. Sometimes Stanley is like the town that time forgot.

I didn't get any photo's all day, however John gave me permission to use his so here they are...

                                                       

So tell me Kyle what you think of the Nettle Patch ?

Straight in from work I try to avoid the workman putting down our new engineered flooring and head up stairs to see if I can prise wor Kyle out of his computer chair to go out for a ride with me. It's been ages since we were out together and as it was a nice day thought I'd at least ask him. I was really surprised when he said "Yes", obviously he had to kill just one major boss in his game before he could get ready but hey it gave me time to sort my gear.

I had been thinking of shooting a video and Kyle would come in handy to set up my camera. I always seem to get the angle wrong, or the camera moves or something just doesn't go right. Well even though wor Kyle was with me this afters, it was no exception. Never mind even though I didn't quite catch the footage I wanted we both had a canny afternoon out playing on my bikes. Well I did I don't think Kyle had as much fun as me as he decided to follow me down a bank and I couldn't stop my bike sliding sideways and fell off and wor Kyle proceeded to crash into me. I fell in this nice sweet spot, with lovely lush grass, wor Kyle decided he would head towards these bushes...Oh hold on these aren't bushes, well I'll let the video do the talking lol.

There you go short n sweet... The bairn is now nursing his badly nettled arm... Awww... I have popped some Suda Crem on and hopefully it won't drop off any time soon.

Really bright day

Kyle doesn't like his pic taken

His dad doesn't mind lol

Tonight is one of those nights where I just can’t switch off

Tonight is one of those nights where I just can’t switch off. My mind is working overtime. Yeah I’m tired and I know I will pay the price come the morning when I have to get up for work, it’s not even as if I have all that much phantom pain. Nope although I tell myself “just go to sleep” it’s not happening.

As I lie, kind of almost in a dream state, images keep popping into my head, quite a few of these appear to be based around what’s gone on in my life, both past and present, though not so much the future, as like you I don’t have the benefit or foresight. I think I know what is going on and it’s not that I’m worried I just simply can’t sleep tonight. I have been asked to write an article for the Challenged Athletes Foundation’s Blog, this has for some reason entered my thoughts tonight and got me thinking.

I know my blog is aptly named Post Amp Adventures, Why? Well because I much prefer to concentrate on the stuff that is going on now rather than what I went through for a long period whilst I was ill. However in order to get to where I am today I had to undergo all that bad stuff. 

So whilst I can’t sleep I am going to try and write down what had gone through my mind, just before I got up and decided to reboot my pc and start typing away.

At one point in my life I felt I faced the end. This may sound rather dramatic, though for me it was very real. I had reached a point which I can only describe as standing looking into a huge black void of nothingness. One step further I would fall from the edge and be lost forever. Of course this was the mental side of things. I felt I had reached my limit of pain and my life force was just ebbing away. I awoke each day when I could sleep wishing I hadn’t woke up. It wasn’t that I wanted to cease to exist, No I just wanted to wake up and everything be ok, be normal and not in pain. Be able to do something with my life. Physically I was a broken man, demoralised, no job, no partner and living with my parents instead of out there making something of my life and being independent. Relying on people all of the time is a tough pill to swallow.

At the time options were there I just couldn’t see all of them. All I could see was give up or continue in limbo, which basically equated to as good as giving up, two negatives in this case most certainly not making a positive.

Things took a rather surprising turn for me. I recall the time well. A rather special community nurse came to see me and tried her best to motivate and give me hope. Of course I wasn’t interested. I had decided to encapsulate myself in this imaginary protective bubble, my way of coping with my situation. Of course this meant I blocked out reality. I was lost and couldn’t see any options, my judgement clouded by pain and misery. Then it was as if I had what I can only describe as a light bulb moment “Ting” it was if someone had flicked a switch and I had this epiphany. A few very simple words from this nurse struck a chord somewhere deep inside, and my mind fired into action. Other possibilities came flooding into my conciousness. It was like if I do this, will it lead to this, or if I do that could I possibly go on to do that. For the first time in years I felt excitement. Excitement at what you may ask. Well this may sound weird, but excitement at having my leg chopped off. You see I hadn’t really thought about that option, well that’s a bit of a fib to be honest. I had and it scared the shit out of me. I had fought tooth and nail for well over 11 years to keep my leg, yet in the end it was the very thing I was fighting for that was holding me back. My leg had become my number one arch enemy. It’s a very bizarre feeling. It’s like having the love of your life betray you.

That was then this is now…

So as my thoughts formed in my mind, remember I’m trying to describe what I was thinking earlier I kind of equated where I am now to a favourite kind of analogy of mine and that’s of a Phoenix rising from the ashes. I think it symbolises quite a bit about my life. My old life left in the ashes, my new life rising to take shape. Something I am still totally amazed at and feel so lucky to have. Sometimes I reflect on the bad times, not because I am feeling depressed or sad, no it’s more a case of it allows me to see just how far I have come. I will never be an elite athlete, an astronaut or a brain surgeon. I’m just very happy and proud to be me and to have survived and fought to keep my sanity and also chose the right options in order to get out there and do something with my life. I suppose sometimes we have to take risks, in order to move forward with our lives and these risks can be very, very scary. 

I still can’t believe I’m back to work, not only back to work but doing something I love and working with some of the most fantastic people. I have travelled, wow me travelling all on my lonesome, this did wonders for my confidence and self-esteem. You lose things like that when you’re socially isolated for so long. And now I’m actually out swimming, riding bikes and very soon going to be learning how to run.

How many times have you ever thought, “That will never happen to me”. Now that can be in a good way or a bad way I guess you should always keep your options open huh.

So what have I learnt from my experiences? Well in short that you can always turn a negative into some kind of a positive. It may take a very long time and you may need help in discovering it, however it is there.

Ok I feel tired now and hopefully now that I have kind of wrote down what’s been running around in my mind I can get to sleep. I hope who ever reads this finds it interesting and if you’re having similar problems my thoughts and insight can help you in some way.

Night, night off to count sheep

PS you can really help me out in my aim to learn to run by supporting me and donating a few quid. Once I'm up and running my goal is to go on and help other people achieve their goals. I wouldn't normally ask for money from people as it doesn't sit well with me, however in order for me to help others I firstly need much needed support from you.

Thank you.
You Can Donate to my Virgin Just Giving Right Here. Just Hover over this Link

First ride on Bike Swanky's De Rosa Idol

Ever since returning from Seattle last September and having the opportunity to ride a road bike around town with my sponsor and buddy Brian Bartlett I have been thinking of getting one. I always thought "Me become a Roadie, No Way". My impressions of a roadie being  matching Lycra clad snobs, who never acknowledge you and think they own the road. However after having short go on a road bike I kind of saw the buzz, and whilst I don't go in for all the Lycra wear and I'm definitely not a snob, (you can't get much commoner than me)
 I can see the appeal of riding on the road as it's fast and you can keep up a good pace.

So moving along when I heard I had been approved for a running blade by the Challenged Athletes Foundation, then discovered that Arctic ONE where interested in what I was up to and wanted to help support me in my endeavours, well the next step was accepting the challenge of doing something I had never done before and that was a triathlon. 
 

Out on Bike Swanky's Demo De Rosa Idol

A night under the stars and bits and bobs from last week.

After having a relatively busy week what with appointments, work and trying to get some equipment sorted for my upcoming Triathlon in August I was feeling decidedly guilty that I hadn't actually gotten to do much riding or swimming as we approached the end of the week.

Canny hats them like

   

Climb — The Rob Jones Journey Story

Hi Guys I'm going to make this a real short blog as really this incredible video says so much more about a simply amazing bloke than I ever could.

I received the link today from my good friend and the sponsor of my BTK or Bartlett Tendon. I absolutely love my BTK (as you all know) however there are times when it's bloody hard work, so I have nothing but respect and admiration for Rob Jones, he is a truly inspirational guy.


Climb — The Rob Jones Journey Story from Ivan Kander on Vimeo.