A memory of a pup, a hospital visit wearing a new limb that makes me go Ouch and a meet and greet with my Cuz

This morning when I switched the old puter on and visited Facebook I was greeted with a lovely memory from 2 years ago. It was wor Baxter when he was just a wee pup, sporting an Arctic ONE buff. He looked so cute and very clean and white.

Awww he was so cute

I am back, well sort of LoL

Hey it's only me, ages since my last blog. You know when you kind of have little ideas and plans about what you are going to do, where life is going to take you and thoughts of 'well I will start the year out with this'. Well I have come to the conclusion I am not going to do that any more. When ever I think more than a week or so ahead you can pretty much guarantee the god or gods of 'lets move the goal posts' seem to come to town and rain on my parade.

Now I am not here to whine on about 'poor me' I am just venting a little about how fed up I am with stuff getting in the way. For me it always appears to be ill health. Just recently I have been feeling a tad below par, as I was struck down with a nasty strep infection. During the past 5 weeks I have had the lot, sore throats, an ear infection and to add insult to injury a nasty chest infection.

Out in South Moor park

Silverback Synergy Fat

Anyhoo moving on I thought I  would write a little blog about my first ride out, yes that's my first ride out of 2017. As I recall I have not been out for a ride for some 10 or so months. God I am so unfit, as today's little 8 mile excursion proved. Thinking positively the main thing was I got out, well eventually. I had a few technical issues with my Race Face dropper seat post this morning. Ern and I had a tinker with it and it seemed to sort itself, however once out on the trail it decided to try and annoy me by refusing to stay down, then when I sat on it refusing to stay up. At one point I had to use my £1 pliers that I picked up from some cheap shop. To be fair they are probably the best £1 I have spent as they have proved invaluable on quite a few outings.

My £1 pliers

Had to use my pliers to grab cable as it popped out

A ride out for me would not be a proper ride out unless I fell off and hey I had to christen my new Silverback Synergy Fattie lol. It happened on a upward section of trail that was real thick with mud. I tried my best to power through, however came to a stop and inevitably fell off on my BTK Crossover side, with my normal phrase of 'Oh Crap'. Not much you can do as an amputee if you fall to your prosthetic side. Of course years of practicing falling off I am now pretty adept and not injuring myself. The worst thing you can do is stick an arm out. I tend to just hold on to the bars and try and turn so I fall on my back pack.

Oops!

Quite a few firsts today when I think about it. As well as my first ride of 2017, it was also my first go on my new Silverback Synergy Fat Bike. I received the bike last year just before Christmas and became an ambassador for Silverback. My bike had been languishing in the dinning room. I had intended going out on her as soon as I got her heli-taped and the little bits and bobs I had purchased, bars, grips,chain ring etc fitted. However due to after mentioned bugs, viruses and infections I had picked up, everything was put on hold. Speaking of getting my bike Heli-Taped would just like to say a huge thank you to the guys at Infinity Cycles as they did a fantastic job wrapping my bike, with an Invisframe kit, very pleased. First impressions of the Silverback Synergy Fat Bike. When the bike arrived  (a size Large)  and she was stood in my dinning room I have to admit I thought 'wow this thing is huge'. I mean I am just over 6 feet, with roughly a 32 inch inside leg. Just shows though looks can be deceiving. As soon as I was outside and threw my leg over the bike and got going I felt right at home. The bike rolls really well on the Maxxis Mammoths (I discovered on my way home from my outing that I did not have to pedal at all coming from the Morrison road ends. No the bike is not electric, it was because the wind I had fought to get up to that point was so strong it practically pushed me all the way along the road lol) The Synergy feels remarkably light and stable. Point it in a direction and it doesn't feel like it is riding on big fat tyres. It feels rather nimble and is very comfortable to ride. I think if I was going to upgrade anything it would be the Shimano Deore brakes. I feel something with a bit more bite and power would suit the Synergy. Think I will look at this at a later date as wow decent brakes are pretty expensive.

I have popped an Absolute Black Oval chain ring on. Not sure how much difference this has made. But I can tell you although I was tired due to lack of stamina I did not get off on any hills or banks. The chain ring feels smooth in use. Time will tell regarding the ring, it seems to work well on the Synergy. The bike has a nice ratio, between the 11 gears.

Absolute Black Oval Ring

For a first outing I am very impressed with my new ride. And the colour looks so much better in the flesh, it is a very in your face shade of Orange. One thing I did notice upon getting home and washing my bike. Water tends to sit in the frame where the rear shock is situated. It's easy to sort this I just placed my bike upside down to let the water drain. I will be writing a lot more about my adventures on my new steed. It has been great to get out.

BTK Crossover

BTK Crossover

Oh and another first was getting out on the bike wearing my new BTK Crossover. I have received some amazing backing and support to enable me to go out and play on my various bikes and use the new knee as it was designed as a true 'Hybrid' so walking and getting about.The knee is an amazing piece of tech. So a big thank you to Pace Rehab, especially my prosthetist Paul Richardson. The Arctic One Foundation  and to Fabtech Systems and Leftsideinc for shipping the unit over to Pace for me to play and use... A little about first impressions from today's short adventure on the BTK Crossover. This morning I placed roughly 25 psi in the Rock Shox shocker. The new BTK differs from it's predecessor the Original BTK. The Crossover rely's more on the shocker instead of relying on the tendons. Upon the few little descents over slightly rougher stuff I felt adding a few more psi's would have benefited. This was because I felt it was difficult to maintain just sitting out the saddle with my knee flexed. That said I am used to the old BTK and with that one I never used any stops to maintain flexion. The new Crossover comes with wedges that can be put in place to maintain various degrees of flexion, so I think my next time out I will try a 20 degree wedge in place. As said this will help maintain flexion so I can just pop over any bumps, jumps or drops. After 10 months of not using a BTK I found getting out the saddle real easy and was very pleased that I could actually start my bike off on an incline, gain enough momentum and actually get out the saddle and ride foot over foot up the hill. As an amp this is one of the most difficult things to do. To get that push off and start riding from a stationary position whilst on a bank, hill or incline. The incline was not huge and can be seen at the start of my short video.

Out on my Silverback Synergy, playing in puddles

 

Really like the new bike

Dirty out there

 
Normally when I am fairly fit I can plod along at my own pace and get form A to B. This morning what with the gusty wind and time away from my bikes, swimming etc I was knackered. The hardest part was going through the open trail part of Chapman's Well's nature reserve. I stopped twice once about halfway up the trail for a drink and a little think 'why do I do this again'. Then again when I came to the small wooden bench on the way out of the reserve. At this point I lay my bike down and proceeded to have 15 minutes lay down on the bench trying to reassure myself that 'yes I am somewhat of an old fart now, but if I just keep at it my stamina will increase'. To be fair instead of being hard on myself I should give myself a well done as I am still not feeling 100%. What with my immunity being so low and catching stuff. I figure getting back out in the fresh air will do me the world of good. Not only physically, but mentally too.

As always I saw a few friendly people on my little adventure, it's nice to just say 'hello' and on some occasions share a spot of banter. I now need a rest, however will be out again soon

Going forward into 2017 with Silverback Bikes as one of their ambassadors

Wow after last year what with chemotherapy and then this year and problems with limb fit and not exactly being on form, the end of the year seems to be coming together. Not only have I been very fortunate enough to become the first guy in Europe to take delivery of the Newest incarnation of the Bartlett Tendon Knee, know as the Crossover in co-operation with Pace Rehab, The Arctic ONE Foundation and the distributors Fabtech Systems Leftsideinc I also approached a company I had been following with some interest for a while, named Silverbacklab. I was immensely pleased to be offered a place on their ambassador programme. This involves riding one of their sought after Silverback Synergy Fat Bikes and doing my blogging and promotion on social media, offering feedback and sharing my adventures with you all, something I enjoy doing anyway. 

I do have to say a huge thank you to everyone over at Silverbacklab, especially Elena who has kept me up to date with the progress of the new arrivals. Not only that Elena has been very kind and thoughtful in asking how I am keeping and wishing me every success in my new job after I had told her. Warn and friendly is just what you want, it make you feel more than just a number or another customer in a long line. It makes you feel like an individual and like you will be taken care of. I like that very much in this day of mass produced items and it is a very important factor for me in going forward with a company.

Silverback Synergy Fat

I just cannot express how grateful I am to all these wonderful people and companies. It makes a huge difference in anyone's, life when you have taken one or two knocks yet know there are people out there willing to invest in helping you just get out there and achieve your goals. And for anyone out there reading this when I say goals it doesn't have to be uber extreme stuff. We sometimes forget that whilst climbing a mountain for one person epitomises a huge achievement whilst for someone else a simple stroll out with the family can be their achievement.

I think inspiration comes in all shapes and forms, it is not what you are not prepared or cannot do, but what you are prepared to do and what you can do.

Getting back to Silverback and the Synergy Fat. Well it is a Carbon framed Fat Bike with a clever rear Triangle as the bike can be converted into 3 separate rides a Fat, wearing 80mm Hayes/Sun Ringle Mulefut SL's and shod in Maxxis Mammoth 26"x 4.0's. Then there is the Plus which runs the now popular 27.5+ rims and of course the Slim which uses a 29'er wheel-set. The Frame has 120mm of Front travel and 110mm at the rear and uses Rock Shox's Monarch RT3 for the rear, the same shock as fitted to my BTK Crossover and a Bluto up front. 

Silverback Synergy Fat

I have ordered a few minor bits and bobs to add to my new ride, things like protective frame tape ( I am not exactly looking forward to fitting this, as the last bike took me over 4 hours lol)  I then got my eye on some pretty sweet Race Face Handle Bars. I swear I have Ocd, the reason I bought them...yeah of course it was because they were Uber light...nothing to do with the fact they were finished off in Orange and match the colour of my new bike...Ahem! Of course as they are the new fad and come in a size 35mm I then had to purchase a new stem. Again a lovely Race Face jobbie, the Turbine 35.

Some Lovely Race Face Next Carbon 35 Limited Fox Orange Bars

Race Face Turbine 35 Stem

Race Face Turbine Dropper Post

As an amputee I have discovered one of the best bits of kit you can have on a bike is a dropper seat post...Oooh guess what Race Face does one. Spot on that has now been added to my Christmas list and guess what you can even get a colour co-ordinated dropper lever I am so excited! Next some Surly Orange Rim Tape when it becomes available Oh and some Race Face Crank boots, yes of course in Orange. 

For years now and as I have to clip in I have been using Time ATAC's. I tried various other pedals, however discovered the Time's gave me the most float as I was getting a painful good knee. So these will be popped on

Time ATAC MX8

 Now just have to wait for delivery and build the bike up, it's just like Christmas. I will be able to head out on my new leg and new bike and with the help of my GoPro and camera hopefully get some lovely shots to show you all.

A little stroll over by the Causey Arch a BTK Crossover outing

Over the past week or so I have been wearing my new limb,which incorporates the BTK Crossover. I have been very kindly supported by Pace Rehab in association with Fabtech Sytems, Leftsideinc and my good friends over at The Arctic ONE Foundation on this trick bit of kit. 

Claire n Glenn

Now when I say "trick" many people who are not in the know, will just think this is an ordinary knee. When in fact it is a serious piece of design and engineering.

BTK Crossover How Awesome is this Leg ?

Take 2 and my second opportunity to have a go on the BTK Crossover. Not only that but Paul my prosthetist along with Mike one of Pace's technicians had worked all week to get my final definitive socket ready for me so I was proper excited.

It's amazing to think after only 2, yes that is 2 visits here I was ready to pick up a complete limb, that actually fits.

BTK Crossover first time on bike

Pace Rehabiliation has got their hands on a BTK Crossover

As the title to my blog says Pace Rehabilitation have got their hands on a BTK Crossover.

So when I got the call from Paul my prosthetist a few weeks back saying 'Glenn things are looking positive' Imagine how excited I was for today to arrive.

Paul and Mike what a team

"Do not judge me by my success. Judge me by how many times I fall down and get back up again"

I have enjoyed my few days off it has given me a chance to get out and do a spot of riding and even get out on my blade and try and get the hang of this thing they call running. Where I am concerned I am not so sure it would be classed as running as Omg! I am all over the place.

Anyhoo this morning I got up went straight downstairs after getting dressed of course, skipped breakfast and popped my Challenged Athletes / Arctic ONE running limb on. A quick bit tinker with the Pace Rehabilitation supplied socket to make sure I had it on correct and I had a little bit bounce around the house. I then grabbed my car keys and headed off over the Millennium Green in Tango. I figured the ground shouldn't be too boggy over the field and I could see how the new check socket my prosthetist Paul Richardson from Pace had designed was preforming and feeling.

Arctic ONE Forward Motion Grants

Yesterday Graeme my good friend and the head coach of Phoenix Triathlon asked me would I mind completing an application on our clubs behalf. The application is for a Forward Motion Grant with Arctic ONE. Our club is in need of a few bits and pieces of equipment and should we be approved the funds will be able to provide us with a portable pace clock and such things as cones for cycling and running, as well as flipper and fins, pull buoys and some other bits and bobs.

   


Both Graeme and myself are sporting ambassadors for Arctic ONE and we know how much hard and invaluable work the foundation does. It is always a pleasure to do what we can to promote the foundation through our work in the North East and of course when we attend Arctic ONE events.


    

Graeme , Grant (another level 1 coach at Phoenix Tri) and myself would love to see things take off in the North East and we have a kind of vision. Arctic ONE is very much involved and we are thrilled to be able to work closely with everyone to promote Triathlon as a sport and also show people just how diverse the sport can be. Everyone and anyone can take part and the good thing about triathlon is that it does not have to be all about competition. Just get out there and enjoy yourself.
 

I have now attended Arctic ONE's Dorney Tri- Festival twice and each time the support I received from fellow competitors was amazing. I have also taken part in a duathlon, doing the ride section on my Fat Bike. This was hard but so much fun and again the support was phenomenal. For me it is like meeting up with your extended family. I know most of the people by face alone as there are just so many, the atmosphere when attending the events is amazing and I can not wait to head down at the end of May this year.

I am unable to do the run section of my triathlon as my running limb is not complete yet, due to me undergoing chemo towards the end of last year. When I told Matt and Bex of Arctic ONE this I got a lovely reply saying just come along do the swim and ride and either you find someone to do the run section or we will. I desperately want to do the run, however rather than give up completely I have taken their advice and found a very enthusiastic and awesome lady to take part with me. You see it's just about taking part.

Back to Phoneix Triathlon I have just passed my British Triathlon level 1 coaching and so now help out over at the Brinkburn Community Centre, helping to assist Graeme and Grant with a wide range of people from kids to adults. Grant also runs spinning classes and runs.


Anyone interested can contact get in touch with me if you like and I will pass your details on to Graeme. It's a great way of keeping fit and having lots of fun.

Saddle woes and slightly cold toes...

Favourite pic of the day. John is afraid of all things scary, you know like ghosts and ghouls. here he looks like he is crossing himself lol 
   

Lol @ John

A week or so ago I decided to order some rather swish bars and a new saddle for my beloved Sandman Fat Bike. I was getting bored with the white bits of kit I had put on my bike sometime ago. I chose a lovely pair of Race Face Next Carbon bars bars and a nice looking SDG Duster saddle both in black. The new bars have a lower rise and are not quite as wide as my previous Race Face Responder bars, however I really like them and think I can adapt to the new riding position. The saddle however, omg! it has broken my bot. Now I am not talking about just saddle sore here, nope I am talking serious bruising after only one 10.5 mile ride on Wednesday  afternoon. I have not been back on my bike since and was absolutely dreading perching my ass on my new saddle today.  I forgot my phone today, so no Strava, but I do know both John and I did not venture all that far and I was in agony from setting away from my house, until I got back home. In fact I am still sore now. Of course it doesn't help having to wear a prosthetic limb as the very area I think I have bruised, well I am sitting on it, so no relief unless I chill with my leg off for a while.

Neglecting my duties, a short blog for a short ride...

It has been almost a month since I last blogged. I know this because my last blog was about what cycle I was up to and come Thursday and Friday I will be on with my next cycle of treatment. Wow where has the time gone? It seems as if four months have gone in the blink of an eye.

Most of this years posts whilst I have always tried to remain positive and optimistic have had a bit of a negative flavour to them, well I think they do. I think it's because instead of realising I'm doing quite well I am overly critical of the fact I haven't done as much as in previous years. Sometimes it's a good exercise just to stop and actually take stock and look back as we can find that in reality we haven't had a bad year, and hey it's not quite over yet.

Anyhoo I said I would keep this short so true to my word. Today following work I called in to see my friends John and his wife Christina. I also got the opportunity to see how John and Christina's baby, Amber is doing. I was quite surprised when Christina handed me Amber, it has been sometime since I held a baby. I didn't want to let on to Christina that the last time I held a baby was probably wor Kyle and I dropped him on his head. Of course only joking. I asked John did he fancy a short ride out and he was very keen. It's been ages since we rode together I just haven't had the motivation or energy, guess I'm feeling  a bit like Austin Powers when he lost his MoJo.

John and I headed out from my house after I got ready and took one of our all time favourite routes and the Farmers trail. Wow today was pretty hot and it sure did zap my energy. I'm pretty pleased with myself as although we only rode 10 or so miles we did take in 3 canny climbs and I didn't get off on any of them. Yeah I'm feeling tired now but so pleased I went out. In truth a certain person who shall remain nameless has motivated and inspired me.

    

John

Me on the Sandman

Coming down the trail

Like this shot

Getting closer

Nice shot of the Surly Nates

Lovely view over the hill of all the bales

My Arctic One band on top of some clay pigeons

  

Wor Baxter supporting Arctic ONE

Wow it's hard work trying to get a pic of wor Baxter. As soon as you put a camera near him he is either on the move or comes over to investigate what it is you are trying to take a picture of. At the moment everything is new to him so it's a case of testing everything with his mouth. A kind of "if  I can't eat it. I may as well chew it to discover why I can't eat it".

Baxter with his Arctic ONE Buff

Yesterday I managed to get a few snaps of Baxter wearing an Arctic ONE buff. It was a little bit big for him and obviously he thought it was some game as he tried to get it off and run around with the buff. At one point we had a real tug of war as I tried to get it off him. 

Baxter

Anyhoo managed to get a few shots. It's weird when I have looked back at the images how big they make him appear. Really he's quite small, being only 9 weeks old. Everything about him is so cute and he has an awesome character. I have already seen over the past couple of days that he is a lot more well behaved than Mr Hink's when he was that age. Don't get me wrong Hink's was awesome, but he was one of the most mischievous puppies, who was very very strong willed. So far Baxter has been very well behaved. Like most puppies he nips now and again, as he is mouthing, his teeth are like little needles. He is relatively good though as he stops when told off.  His little bark is so cute, yesterday he was telling the birds in the garden off and today he has been barking at the TV. Everything is an adventure to him at the moment in his new world and it's great to see him learning and experimenting with different things.

We are trying not to feed him tit bits as he gets all the nutrients and goodness from his puppy food. It's hilarious to see him sniffing the air when something which is new to him is prepared. He gets ever so excited. When ever anyone is in the kitchen he will sit patiently right at your feet looking up with his tiny little glinting eyes and just give you that look.

One of the most adhering things about Baxter is his little grunts and squeaks as if he is trying to talk to you, that and the fact he loves cuddles. He is a very loving little chap and has already stolen our hearts.

Arctic ONE Eton, Dorney 2015

It's almost a week since my dad and friends Ade and John and I went down to Eton, Berks to meet up with our friends from Arctic ONE.
 

Dorney Lake

Man I'm starting to understand what it must be like to be poisned ! ... I need your help too?

Today has been the worst so far following my chemotherapy treatment last Thursday and Friday. It's very hard to explain how exactly I feel. It's a bit like having a really bad and I mean the worst imaginable hangover in the world, along with heart burn and the sense that someone has kicked me all over. Add to the fact I can't stop running, (well not quite running in my case) to the toilet every five minutes for a tinkle and then the embarrassment of constantly farting. Well if I'm going to be honest why hold anything back... Parrrrrrrp! there's goes another one!

Something I also forgot to add is tiredness, however not tiredness in the sense of "Oh I'll have a nap". No it's a bone weary tiredness, a better word to describe it is fatigue. At the moment I'm having real problems sleeping and finding I'm going to bed late and rising at stupid O'clock then waiting to go to work.

It's as if you can physically feel the chemical assassin attacking not just the rogue cancer cells but also the healthy good cells. Day by day I have felt just that bit sicker. Of course really I'm quite lucky in the fact that my cancer is a low grade one, so once I've finished up shoring up my natural defences with the help of these treatments I should be able to get back to normal.

As I'm not sleeping it's given me a lot of time to ponder what the hell am I doing. I can't possibly just sit back and let this nauseating wave of negativity engulf me. I have to be or at least feel proactive. So this morning I sent Matt and Bex from Arctic ONE a message with a few ideas on how I can turn this around in my favour. My idea was that I could do some sort of a sponsored something or another and create a bit of awareness around Arctic ONE and also cancer related diseases and the impact it has on people.

As many of you will know I was due to take part in my second Arctic ONE Triathlon this month, but unfortunately just don't feel I can do the swim or run sections. I put to Matt and Bex that I could maybe just do my own challenge on Arctic ONE's behalf and so that is what I intend on doing.

I jested to Matt maybe I could do a sponsored ride seeing how many times I could get around the 5km course of Dorney lake before I puke. Of course if it was based on farting and everyone sponsored me we would be able to fund an entire squad of elite athletes lol.

So anyhoo that's my thoughts and my aim, to do as many laps around Dorney as I can. The Arctic ONE Dorney Tri-Festival is on the 28th and I get my 3rd and 4th session of chemo on the 25th and 26th. I know if I have the support like in the past I will do all the guys at Arctic ONE proud and I may feel like I can redeem a bit of this year.

If you would like to help support me and all my friends at Arctic ONE please visit here

Glenn's Virgin Just Giving Page


And thank you , this is very close to my heart x

Chemotherapy Treatment Round One...Ding Ding!

 Ooh a couple of days off work, for many of us this is a real treat, for me though I'd much rather be at work and just lead an ordinary hum drum sort of day. I'm never more happy than when I'm the one trying to help other people get better,recover or just try to make their day more bearable. Being a patient sucks and I have had my fair share on the side of the curtain.

When it's my turn to be a patient and I'm not feeling so good I always try to make sure I put the correct head on in the morning and be as friendly, positive and helpful as a patient can be towards the clinical staff and other patients as from personal experience it really does help things go along a lot smoother and more efficiently, hence getting you out that little bit quicker, well hopefully.

That wasn't the case today, No not because I was being stubborn or rude or had indeed incorrectly chosen my grumpy head, yes it does exist, it's way back in the darkest recesses of my wardrobe gathering dust. I don't like that head. Today was long because of the type of drug treatment I was going to be going through.

I arrived at the University Hospital of North Durham (UHND) just before my appointed time of 9:00am and was immediately introduced to the nursing staff and directed to a seat. One of the nurses  came over and checked all my details and got straight on preparing all the required gear to get me up and running. A needle was placed in the back of my left hand. Now I have had many needles popped in over the years, however the experience never gets any easier for me. I still always feel nervous,clammy and queasy. The nurse was very attentive and caring frequently asking "are you ok". I'd like to say maybe I'm really scared of needles because of a few incidents where I can recall things didn't go well. Over the years there have been a few dodgy incidents one being when I visited the old South Moor community hospital which is now no more. Having being demolished and the ground left unattended for a good few number of years. I hear more new houses will be built on the sight. This to me is a real shame as in my opinion a modern community hospital or a similar rest-bite and or hospice should have replaced the old hospital which had a really good reputation and stunning grounds. Instead no doubt there will be town houses built in a deprived area where people struggle to find work. Anyhoo getting back to the needle incident a nurse at the old South Moor Hospital I think completely missed my vein or went through it. I got like a dead arm and I'm sure she drained more than the required alotted amount, the pain was horrendous. A few days later my whole arm was tingly and went black and blue.

My next bad experience was when I was in theatre awaiting the anaesthetist. You can kind of tell things aren't going to go well when the anaesthetist enters the room, glasses on and all chirpy, introduces himself then proceeds to walk into the over head projector surgery light with a reverberating "Doinggg!" after hitting his head. I really did panic when he then went to put the needle in my hand and I heard those not so encouraging words of "Oops". The words "Oops" and clinical staff never go well together, especially when sharp instruments are involved.
Really it's just a case I'm a natural born pussy and have always been fearful. From an early age if I knew there was some sort of vaccination going on at school I would think of a way of getting the day off.

Now my technique for needle fear is look away and think of something like a shopping list, obviously not a boring food shopping list, no a bike porn shopping list. See it worked "sharp scratch" the nurse says and it's in and taped down. A quick flush with some saline and then the nurse is on taking my blood pressure.

The antibody drug Ritixumab is then placed upon my drip stand,attached and fed in ever so slowly. This drug can cause an allergic reaction and lower a patients blood pressure so has to be infused very slowly. The bendamustine which is the chemo drug can go through a lot quicker.

As I sat in the recliner chair the chemo department started to fill up. And after a while I struck up a conversation with a very nice gentleman and shortly after a lovely couple. We discussed a wide variety of topics which as you can imagine included what types of cancer we had all presented with. I have to say I was amazed at how up beat and open everyone was. The young lady of the couple asked some very interesting questions as I did of her. I like people who are like this, they quite often say "I hope you don't think I'm being rude". I don't think it's being rude to take an interest in someone it's just being inquisitive and this is how we learn and grow. I discovered the young couple just live up the road from me in my good friends Lee and Michelle's estate so I fully intend to take them up on their offer and call in and see them at some point. I would love to introduce them to Lee and Michelle as they are genuine friendly salt of the earth people and what with Michelle kicking cancer's ass in her brave fight last year well it gives us all common ground. People don't realise that cancer doesn't just effect the person who has it, it effects whole families and close friends too. For me speaking as someone caring for my mam when she had terminal pancreatic cancer I can't describe the emotional roller coaster and the feelings of guilt and anger I went through. Of course I was also very proud when I heard my dad tell people of how  proud he was of how I cared for my mam in her final weeks. When we lost my mam it was a huge devastaing loss, however I took something positive from her passing and I use it almost everyday in my current job. Compassion and care and looking at how I can do the best for people. I know my mam would approve of this and be so very proud to see that although I was never going to be a high flyer I am happy in what I do and how I try to make a difference.

Today was one long session, 7 hours sat in a reclined chair does your back no good at all. As I'm sat here typing this up I can honestly say that the worst thing about today is my back, it's aching like hell tonight. So No not the sickness so far it's early days but I have none. Yes I'm tired, but hey that may be that I have been feeling tired for months now anyhoo. I did have a bit of a headache when I left the treatment and also felt a tad light headed, a good long doze cured that when I got in after having something to eat.

I now have lots of other meds to take at home. Steroids, ant- sickness meds and more anti-sickness meds in case the first ones don't work. Oh and the ones I'm going to hate taking which are anti-biotics. I will be on these the length of my treatment 6 months, then have to take a further 6 month course.

Tomorrow is round 2 at 11am, it shouldn't take as long as it's just the chemo treatment. Then I'm off for a month before round 3 and 4 start.

I have been given advice on do's and don'ts. Things like not mixing with people with infections and being more careful should I go out mountain biking. I have a habit of getting scrapes and scratches so ill have to be aware of these and try and watch what I'm doing. I caught my leg on a wire fence pole when out with John last week and got a big scrape. Any other time it would be considered innocuous, I will now have to think just that little bit more and take a tad more care.

I will write more for hose of you who are interested, trying to keep it light, but real.

I will end with my  Virgin Just Giving Page. I'm not asking for donations for myself but my chosen charity Arctic ONE who have been of immense support to me. Arctic ONE helped fund raise to get me a running prosthesis and obviously I'm gutted I can't take part in this years Arctic ONE Tri- festival at Dorney Lake. I know this has been out of my control, never the less I still feel a sense of failure and guilt at letting everyone down. That includes my friend Brian Bartlett who always writes such inspiring mails to me. Pace Rehab for their tireless  work, Bike Swanky who sponsor me on my PYGA and of course Arctic ONE. I have had great words of encouragement from all these people and I guess that support epitomises what these people represent. Of course what they get from me is they know I will never quit and I write a lot...I mean a lot. It only takes one person to say something that then sparks an interest in someone else and before you know it people are sharing info and ideas and looking at positive ways to help support or change things for the better. Well that's what I hope happens when I write, you guys are the judge of that.

A huge thank you to everyone you, help to make me who I am and life's battles appear easy with friends at your side.

Why Me?

Well as the title to this blog says "Why Me?", well why not? I mean yeah I have suffered my fair share of bad luck and ill health, but hey illness and diseases are in the main quite indiscriminate (unlike certain people). You can try to eat healthy, not smoke or drink and take all your vitamins, but in certain cases if it's meant to be then it's meant to be. It could be a case of bad genes or just plain bad old luck.

I have to admit when I lost my leg after fighting for around 12 years to save the dam thing I never once said "why me". Sure I was devastated when I got the diagnosis, however after years of suffering was relieved to wake up with it gone.  A year after having my leg off I was diagnosed with NHL or Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma and although I thought I was dealing with it ok in the first few months of my diagnosis I can sort of remember having a meltdown as time went on and asking "Why me ?". Weird as in reality my NHL wasn't the worst cancer I could have got  and really other than a few lumps and bumps and the odd upset tummy, which in hindsight was more due to stress it wasn't that bad. It was at an advanced stage so incurable, but on a positive low grade and really slow to progress. 

Which brings us to 7 years down the line. And the slow progression of my NHL. Of late I have been feeling really tired. At first I put it down to taking on an additional job and maybe over doing it in my free time. You see the problem with me is that if I just sit at home and chill I then have a proper go at myself for being lazy. This I think stems from years and years of inactivity due to having a buggered leg, where my daily routine would be lying on a couch or bed with my fixed leg, leaking horrible gunk and hurting from getting up till I went to bed. Now I just feel if I take any "Me Time" well that's just not on. I mean what would people think. Seriously these are the sort of stupid thoughts that float around my brain. I have a responsibility to maintain this perception of what people actually think of me. Like I'm some superhuman or something. Obviously these thoughts are in my deluded world and of late through chatting to very caring  and supportive friends I have come to realise that actually who gives a stuff what other peoples perceptions are of you. What counts is looking after yourself, learning to love yourself, because if you push yourself to far and break, then how the hell can you support anyone else.

Errr where was I? Ahh yes, so 7 years on and feeling tired. Well I also had these painful node in my neck. So I visited my consultant, who sent me for a CT scan. The results showed my cancer had progressed and that brings me to today. Upon visiting with my consultant she went over my results, explaining the progression and what she thought would be the best option at this point. We both agreed it was possibly a good time to commence treatment. This is to be in the form of chemotherapy alongside antibody therapy. The chemo drug is called Bendamustine (Levact), whilst the antibody drug is called Rituximab (Mabthera). Both drugs although they won't cure my NHL have proven successful in keeping the disease at bay for a period of time. My consultant was very optimistic too explaining that cancer treatments have come along way and with further research and development well things can only improve.

I now have a few dates for my diary, an appointment to chat with my cancer specialist nurse this coming Wednesday, then my treatments will start on the 28th and 29th of May. I have never had treatment like this before so I'm not entirely sure what to expect. In trying to look at this in a positive way I guess I can say this will be a new experience which I can share. It is a means of feeling better, even though I may feel pretty unwell for a period of time. And who knows I may even get some super human powers from the freaky drugs, yeah I know that's highly unlikely but hey I can dream. Growing a new leg would be a start lol.

I'll be continuing my blog and try and write my thoughts from a personal point of view. Be wonderful to hear your comments or words of support.

In ending I would also like to point out I was hoping to take part in the Arctic ONE Triathlon this coming June. Unfortunately I don't think I will be able to take part now. I'm gutted as both Matt and Bex and everyone involved with the Foundation has been ever so supportive of me. I don't want anyone to donate money because they feel sorry for me. I would like to leave a link to my Virgin Just Giving so that if you can spare a few quid you can help other people out to achieve their goals.

Virgin Just Giving

Thanks guys

A little more running practice...

As we are in winter and the weather isn't exactly kind I have found it increasingly difficult to get any real running practice in. My dad has been scouring our local vicinity to try and discover a running specific track and we have even looked at  trying to find somewhere indoors, large enough to have a jog around.
 

One of Ade's images which I played around with using Snapseed

MBR Magazine Feature

Say Cheese

A little while ago I got an unexpected surprise in the form of an email from a lovely guy named Jamie Darlow. Jamie went on to explain that he worked at Mountain Bike Rider Magazine (MBR Magazine) and had come across my blog. He asked would I be interested in tbeing featured in an article for the mag, going on to say that he thought it would be an inspirational and interesting story for MBR's readers.

Ok the weather isn't going to get any better I have to get out and run...

Practising in the car park @ South Moor Park

I have been in a kind of limbo of late. My body is changing shape and I have discovered each of my various legs just aren't fitting. That's my NHS everyday leg that I wear for work, my running prosthesis which is in it's infancy, so I'm only at the check socket phase and my Bartlett Tendon which I have found to be way too big.  Pace Rehab are on the job, though it's been a difficult time getting fitted as like I say I change shape so quickly. Imagine if you will, when I'm really active I tend to loose weight, even though I am building strength and indeed muscle, it still means my residual limb shrinks. I then have to be re-fitted, however the time I then spend not doing any exercise I then put on weight and the original socket I was cast for then becomes obsolete as my sizing changes once again. It's very much a vicious circle which almost every amputee goes through. Don't get me wrong I'm not whining here, as I am very fortunate in the support and sponsorship I receive, it's just very frustrating when you want to get out there and get down to business only to have these small but annoying setbacks strewn across your path.

Positive Outcomes

As many of you know it's very rare I write a short blog, some of my friends say "Glenn you don't half waffle on, we much prefer to just skip the text and move along to your photo's". Well in this case I don't have many photo's. The pics  Ern (my dad) had taken came out pants. Not really Ern's fault, it was just that the camera is a small compact, under artificial lighting, late in the afternoon so it was dark and indoors.

Really I should have got more shots when my two new friends Si from Cycle Solutions and Andy from Bike Swanky arrived. But taking pictures was the last thing on our minds as we came in doors practically as soon as Andy and Si pulled up in Bike Swanky's logo'd up van. We just had so much to talk about.

Si (Cycle Solutions),Me, Andy (Bike Swanky) and my new De Rosa Idol

'A leap of faith' - Running Prosthesis Stage 2

Really enjoyed the whole day working with Paul. His positive comments go along way

My appointment to head down to Pace Rehabilitation and their Cheadle clinic to meet with one of my prosthetists down there Paul Richardson, had soon come around. I had arranged with Paul a week earlier to get down to Pace pretty early. This would give us plenty of time to experiment with the next stage of my running prosthesis.
 
I had my alarm on my mobile set for 6:30am, though in the morning discovered I didn't really need it, as I was already wide awake, probably due to the excitement at the prospect of seeing all this new prosthetic kit. I'm sure there are some people out there who just don't get why anyone would be excited at what essentially they would  just see as "a leg". Thing is in the majority of cases as an above knee amputee you need a different leg for each activity you choose to do and without a specific limb you struggle. They are also very expensive and this means quite a few amputees resign their selves to a life of giving up on what they used to do, or want to do, even though they have the potential  in some cases to go on and do even more than they could as an able bodied person.