Adventure, more like Mis-Adventure or has it?

As today was the last of my annual leave from last year I decided last night rather than just sit around on my day off I would venture out on my bike. I then got the idea 'I know I will check out the weather forecast', looking more to see if it was going to be a fairly bright sunrise, rather than how cold it was going to be. 'Ooh it looks like a bright morning'. I was reliably informed from the website that sunrise was 6:40, so I set my alarm for 5:30 so as to allow enough time to get sorted and ride to where ever I wanted to get some shots.
 
I had a horrendous nights sleep last night, mainly because I had a very upset tummy. So when 5:30 am arrived I wasn't entirely sure I felt like dragging myself out of bed. I then thought to myself  'if  I am going to puke, it may as well be outside, at least that way I am also getting some exercise'.

I had been toying with the idea of taking my Wizmount out, figuring I could get a much better camera angle now that I can see what my GoPro is actually looking at through my mobile phone. So I gathered up everything I needed from my bedroom, GoPro, Digital camera, mobile phone, rear bike light which had been on charge, oh and my reading glasses. One of the things that is really frustrating me is whenever I go out with my GoPro I cannot for the life of me see the tiny little screen. This means it is an absolute nightmare trying to connect the GoPro to my mobile. At one point I took to memorising the correct sequence of button presses in order to get the bloody thing paired.

When I got down stairs I grabbed a bottle of pop from the fridge, retrieved my Wizmount backpack from the cupboard and just for good measure popped my crystal ball into the back pack. Crystal ball you may ask, no I don't go trying to look to the future. I use it as a means of capturing different and interesting shots from time to time. I then unplugged my front light battery and was just about ready to go after affixing my lights to my Fat Bike.

My plan was to ride along towards Craghead and go up Wagtail Lane, past the turbines and then wait a little while for the sunrise to pop up on the farmers trail that leads into Chapman's Well. I have shot a small video here before and got a farily good result with the sun flare, however thought a longer video and using the Wizmount would make for an interesting bit of scenery and any potential viewers wouldn't get bored.

Anyhoo as I set off getting coming down my back street I thought to myself  'By it's canny cad like'. I had put my Biggles goggles back on as they really reduce the wind getting in my eyes and tears forming and I am also very pleased I popped my Arctic ONE buff on, because as soon as I got out onto Durham Road, Jeez the wind chill was Baltic. I pulled my buff up over my mouth and ears as I am prone to earache, which can then lead to toothache.

Even though I was not feeling quite on form I was looking forward to my ride out. I had awoken with a positive mindset and for some reason began thinking about mindfulness. So as I rode I took in the various sounds, things like my tyres as they rolled along, sometimes going through patches of frost and little puddles of ice. The crunching and breaking sound and the steady droll of the Surly Nate's as the knobbles make contact. Then there was the sound of all the different birds, each one welcoming in the morning. Cars were few and far between, just the way I like it. I was also aware of the street lights and how as they entered the lens of my goggles they flared and looked so pretty in the early morning light.

As I roe up the bank towards Wagtail Lane I noticed my shadow, it would catch up to me and then pass me time and again as I approached and then past each street light, it was as if I was in a mini up hill race, yet never to win as my shadow constantly came from behind me and then  passed, before fading out of view.

Me and my Shadow

Once on the top road it was slick with black ice and early morning frost. As I rode on and eventually came to the first turbine it stood still like some huge sentinel. On approaching the second turbine, it's propeller like sails were rotating at a nice steady pace. I love the sound of the turbines a kind of 'woff, woff woff ' as each blade goes around. On sunny days the blades cast a hypnotic shadow across the road which adds to the sound.

Now at the top of Wilkers bank, well a bit along from it. This is where I stopped and began preparing for the sunrise. I checked my mobile phone 6:23 am, so a little while to go. 'Dear me I' thought it's a lot colder than I was expecting. Of course messing around with camera's in this weather is not good at all as you have to take your gloves off. This is when I began to feel my hands getting cold. I took just a few snaps with my digital camera and then started preparing where to set up my GoPro, deciding I would pop it on a gate post and ride into shot so that the sun rose at my back.

Just as it is beginning to get light

I think I set off too early, but to be honest I didn't care as by now I was freezing cold. I had that sensation in my hands of not being able to feel anything, as if my fingers were like little logs, all cumbersome and they wouldn't do as they were told. My right thumb was in excruciating pain due to the wind chill. I then thought 'Sod it I am just going to do a video in one take' and see what footage I ended up with. Thinking I couldn't possibly keep stoping and starting and taking my gloves off each time. So I removed my Wizmount back pack an set up the small boom. When I went to pop the GoPro on the end of the mount I dropped the small nut 5 times. I just couldn't feel it between my thumb and fingers. Did I swear, you bet you life I did. Then just as i got the nut in place the stupid bolt slipped through the plastic end and came out of the back. 'Grrrrrrrrrrrr', or should that be 'Brrrrrrrrr' as by now I was thinking 'bad idea, bad idea,bad idea'. Finally I got the nut and bolt together, but only after using another bolt I had on another mount I had brought.

All I had to do now was put on my specs and get the GoPro paired with my mobile, Jeez how little is the bloody writing on the back of the display. No I don't want to add a pairing id number, omg it's a conspiracy, the weather my equipment they all have it in for me. Finally paired I position the boom to where i think it should be and pop my backpack on. I then place my phone on a gatepost and prop myself up against the post and stand ouyt of the saddle to see what the GoPro sees through my phone. I don't believe it,cock on and just how I want it first time. Ok all I have to do now is ride a little further back and then I hit the record button on my mobile before storing it back in my pocket and we are off. I take about 5 pedal strokes and I hear a 'Beep, beep,beep'. Now anyone who has a GoPro knows a series of beeps is not what you want. I stop and check my phone. 'Awwww crap' it's says my GoPro is out of battery life. Oh and guess what because I changed backpacks my spare batteries are in my Camelbak. It's at this point I swear a little bit more, oh and then just to top off the morning the sun pops up in an amazing sunrise as I turn to go home. 

My sole aim now is to get home as quickly as possible as I can no longer feel my hands. Obviously I still know they are there as they appear to be frozen to my handlebars I can see them. They do not work however. Maybe going down the Sandy Lonnen as a short cut was not the best idea. It is a pretty steep decent and I cannot feel my brakes, if I see anyone I will just shout 'get out the way no brakes' I guess. In all seriousness that was one scary decent, especially as the trail is not exactly level and has huge gouges where excess water has carried away the trail. I think I must be suffering from hypothermia, as I am giggling to myself coming down the trail , yet I am in so much pain. My hands are stinging, my finger ends pulsing in time to my blood flow. My thumbs are the worst, especially my right one. A sensation which is hard to describe, sort of like cold burning.

At the bottom of the Sandy Lonnen and passing Reiver Boats, I need to stop for the road. I need to drop my seat post. I need to change gear. None of that happened. More a quick look left and right and straight over the road I cannot feel my hands.

Almost home just got to get through the housing estate and then I arrive. My next task is trying to open our shed. Ern has one of those stupid keypad locks on the outer door. I have frozen sausages for fingers. It takes me ages and each press, well I think I am pressing, yes I must be because I think it hurts. Bike in and a bit fumble with the lock.

I am then greeted by wor Baxter, Oooooh he is lovely and warm, 'come here boy',  he cuddles into me as I sit on the downstairs loo and I keep my hands on him. After a good few minutes I can begin to feel some life coming back. This is when Baxter tells me 'dad I want to go out'. So it is off with the Bartlett Tendon and on with my everyday limb. A quick change of jacket, my wolly pom pom hat on and I pop my Seal Skin gloves on, then we are out the door and off for walkies down the local woods. We don't go too far around one and a half miles or so. I grab a few shots of Baxter and then it's home for his big lad biscuit.

Baxter

What a good lad

Looks like Baxter is frozen

Awww Baxter

We are not amused

A loveable rogue

So today's adventure has been more of a miss-adventure. Or has it? I mean I got out, yeah not far and I did not get to take my pictures or shoot my video. I was thinking about just how lucky I actually am on the way home and whilst out with Baxter. I can choose to stay in or go out. I can jump in my car or head out on my bike, many people don't have that freedom. Sometimes it's good to just stop and be in the moment, all the things you can do today that for some reason or another you may not be able to do tomorrow. So rather than feeling all miffed and fed up I guess I just feel grateful. And without thinking too fr ahead there is always tomorrow.

A bit like Four Seasons in one day, but mostly Winter

Rod, Glenn and John

Just a short blog, even though today was my longest of the year so far, riding from my house with my mates Rod and John to well past Waskerley Way, passing Smidey Shore Reservoir and turning at the small car park up on top of the fell. Ideally I would have liked to have ridden all the way to Parkhead, however I was feeling knackered and the weather, well there was a bit of everything. We had rain, sunshine, had to fight the wind on the rain up and funnily enough also on the way back as it decided to change direction. We had snow, then a bit more sunshine, then the worst of the weather was the hail on the way home as it stung. So pleased I decided to wear my glasses, even though John did say 'who do you think you are Biggles'.

Who's this Biggles Bloke John?

Rod n John

Glenn

Today's adventure has been one of the coldest and wettest I can recall in sometime. I struggled to put my bike away and lock it up as my fingers felt like small logs. My good foot, complete with my new Merino Royal sock was still freezing, yet weirdly enough my phantom foot felt toastie warm. It was great hooking up with Rod, both John and I really enjoyed the bit banter we had with Rod and it was nice to show him some local places he had not seen and give him a brief history lesson about Waskerley Village when we called into St Matthews Church. I signed the journal saying we had paid a visit and popped a couple of quid into the collection box. The couple who live across from the church maintain it and I think they do a wonderful job of preserving that little bit of history about the surrounding area and what happened to Waskerley village after the railway became obsolete. It strikes me as a real shame that a line was not maintained as I am sure people would pay good money to take tours across the fell and take in the sights. Ah well they will just have to buy bikes and see it the way we do. 

John contemplating the meaning of life

Rod checking out the local history

Now feeling proper exhausted, however pleased I am able to start getting back in the swing of things after this dreadful cold. Really enjoyed yesterdays swim with John and even though it was brass monkeys and wet today we all enjoyed the great outdoors and just hanging in the company of friends.

Not to many pics today it was just too dam cold lol.. 

 

The Bartlett Tendon, a dirty design, just as well

 

Saddle woes and slightly cold toes...

Favourite pic of the day. John is afraid of all things scary, you know like ghosts and ghouls. here he looks like he is crossing himself lol 
   

Lol @ John

A week or so ago I decided to order some rather swish bars and a new saddle for my beloved Sandman Fat Bike. I was getting bored with the white bits of kit I had put on my bike sometime ago. I chose a lovely pair of Race Face Next Carbon bars bars and a nice looking SDG Duster saddle both in black. The new bars have a lower rise and are not quite as wide as my previous Race Face Responder bars, however I really like them and think I can adapt to the new riding position. The saddle however, omg! it has broken my bot. Now I am not talking about just saddle sore here, nope I am talking serious bruising after only one 10.5 mile ride on Wednesday  afternoon. I have not been back on my bike since and was absolutely dreading perching my ass on my new saddle today.  I forgot my phone today, so no Strava, but I do know both John and I did not venture all that far and I was in agony from setting away from my house, until I got back home. In fact I am still sore now. Of course it doesn't help having to wear a prosthetic limb as the very area I think I have bruised, well I am sitting on it, so no relief unless I chill with my leg off for a while.

A Few Days Holiday

I have been off work the last few days as I had some annual leave to use up before the end of March, so I only worked Monday and Tuesday of this week, then I have had the Wednesday, Thursday and will also have tomorrow off. Come the weekend no rest for the wicked however as I am off down to Darlington to do my Level 1 coaching with British Triathlon. I have been very kindly invited to take part in some coaching sessions by the head coach and my good friend Graeme Moore along at Phoenix Triathlon in South Shields. In order to do this I obviously need the relevant knowledge, experience and coaching certificate. I have helped Graeme out in the past with a few minor sessions and although I don't feel I do much, well Graeme always appears very happy to see me and that counts for a lot.

Truth be known (those of you who read my blogs know I always say it how it is lol) I have been feeling less than motivated. I am terribly critical and quite cynical of my performance, so when I am feeling I am not doing my best or just feeling quite unmotivated or lethargic I have a go at myself. Obviously this leads to feelings of being miserable, less than adequate and also that feeling I hate which is of failure. So I decided with my days off instead of just sitting in the house I would at least try and do something. So yesterday I went for an enjoyable yet really hard and cold ride out with my friend John. We rode locally and covered just over 23.5 miles, my furthest this year. I always find it amazing that we can still discover new places to ride locally and yesterday was no different.

Up The Black Path

A disastrous morning for poor John

John arrived at my house at around 7:30 am like we had arranged, he was not in the best of moods as his bike was cold lol. I think it must have got frozen during the night in his little shed as he was complaining of his rear brake and gears not working. I told him to bring his bike into our utility and had a quick check of his rear brake. It was  just a quick fix as the cable had come out from the brake lever.

It seemed to take me ages to get ready this morning, finally we were on our way. Just as I set off I discovered my adjustable ankle had seized. I gave it a few thumps but it wouldn't budge so I just thought 'Awww sod it'. As I caught up to John at the bottom of my street he said to me 'Awwww man I can't get me gears'. A quick look and I could see in his impatience and frustration he had stretched his gear cable, it was dangling down below his frame.

We carried along to the foot of the farmers trail and as John fiddled with his bike I set off. I hate stopping on banks, hills or inclines, especially where it is muddy or in this case covered in snow and ice as it is just so difficult for me to get a start again if I stop. So I was off, a nice steady pace to the top. John was unable to ride his bike and as i stopped at the top and looked around he was on pushing his bike up the hill. As we both approached the top of the farmers trail we had another look at John's bike. It became apparent that the inner cable for the rear gears had become stuck within the outer. A bit of poor maintenance on John's behalf there. John you need to make sure you look after the cables, it's not just a case of washing your bike, you also have to sometimes lube the cables. I can't talk of course, at one time I really didn't mind cleaning the various cars, motorcycles and push bikes I have owned, now I just cannot be arsed and only do it out of necessity.

As John couldn't really do anything with his gears we said our farewells. John headed home and I  ventured out alone. Bloody hell it was freezing and how I managed to ride a whole 10 miles without falling off is beyond me. I mean here's all this black ice which makes things more than difficult and I stayed on board my bike. It's ironic because come the summer and I am sure I will have a few spills when the weather is find and dandy lol.

Today's excursion was a somewhat muted one. I am still not feeling 100%, but cannot put my finger on what is up. I just feel a bit numb and desensitised to everything at the moment, a bit like I know I should give a shit but I don't. Kind of just on autopilot. That said even though my heart was not in continuing after John went home I pushed myself. Again thoughts of just how lucky I am sprung to mind and that inner voice which says 'don't quit, just head out and do a bit' came to mind.

I decided just to go down towards Beamish and although I did not get any pictures I did shoot a little bit of video with my GoPro. It's nothing spectacular, but hey I  was out and made the effort so instead of being overly critical I gave myself a bit of credit.

COLD RIDE OUT JANUARY 2016 from Glenn Johnstone on Vimeo.

I'm back in the New Year...2016

Hello everyone, wow it feels like a lifetime ago since I last blogged or really did anything of any real merit come to think of it. Whilst 2015 was not exactly the year I had planned I refuse to class it as a total right off. As in life full of ups and downs, new experiences some good some bad, the major factor being I am still here to bore you all to death with my continued adventures.

   

South Moor Park was a bit muddy

 I am not going to bang on about the chemotherapy, but will say it took more out of me towards the end than I was expecting and the last few months have been tough. I don't really like this time of year, not sure if I get that Saddo Affective Disorder...Oh sorry Seasonal Affective Disorder, or if I just always prepare myself to be miserable around this time of year. If I get reincarnated it will probably be as a bear or a hedgehog as they hibernate around this season. Anyhoo I have figured I am not feeling depressed I am just a bit wiped out, which I am told by my Cancer Nurse Specialist is to be expected.

Good to be out

Today was to be my first ride out of the New Year 2016, bloody hell what a simply lovely day to go out for a ride. My mate John had to really work hard to convince me to get my ass out of bed this morning. I went out more for John than anything else, Oh and my boss at work Annie who had also tried motivating me all week saying "dude you need to get back out on the bike". I have been back to work around 3 weeks or so now, on a phased return. It has been tough, however such a relief to just get back in the swing of things. As I rode around today, freezing cold and soaked to the skin I said to John 'You know what sometime we don't realise just how lucky we are'. I then went on to explain that the reason I feel so lucky is in my job I see less fortunate people each day. People who have  undergone such life changing illness and I think to myself 'what would they give to be able to just carry on with life as normal'. 

Simply lovely weather

I remembered to charge my lights

John loves playing in puddles

Heading towards Chapman's Wells

 So although today was wet, cold and very muddy and both John and I were proper out of shape after each having a long lay off the bikes it was a great morning. I actually like being out in the rain. I love the sound of the rain drops as they pitter patter through the trees and create little splashes and circles in the puddles. It was proper foggy today and quite a few of my pictures came out with water splashes on the lens, captured in the images. Still managed to get a few not so bad ones.

Came across this wellie, just in the middle of the trail. I wonder if an amputee had been out for a quick hop and left it behind...

A Random Wellie

I think we did just over 10 miles today and in typical fashion I took John on some of the muddiest trails locally that I could find. We finally arrived back at my house where we both gave our bikes a quick hose down and then John said Bye and he headed up the bank home, whilst I went in and had a lovely hot shower. I then set about looking through my pictures, editing a few and writing my blog.

   

Here's to a Great 2016, already got a few things in the pipeline and it's only January. Must get out on the bike more, get back in the pool and of course get this running blade sorted.

 
Best wishes for a Happy new Year to you all...

Me

Morning walkies, followed by family cooking and baking, with debates and laughter...

I awoke this morning around 9am. I had had a bit of a bad night last night, feeling quite nauseous and with an upset tummy, obviously I put this down to my treatment so got up and took some of my prescribed medication. I then dropped back off but had a fit full night. Anyhoo like I say up at around 9 am I decided to take wor Baxter for a walk. At one time Baxter hated walkies now he relishes the prospect so he was raring to go. Baxter is a right little bugger in that as soon as you pop his leash on he tries to grab it and then runs about tugging and jumping all over the place like a right hooligan. The only way I can get him to stop is by saying 'what's this' and reaching into my pocket for a treat.

Out the front gate and down the path, boy it was a little windy and cold, good job I had put my new North Face beanie on and my woollen gloves. We had just walked a little way down the path when Baxter decided 'oh I need to go for a poo'. I was using his extendible leader and callied to him 'Baxter wait, wait', you see the leader was under his tail. Yeah well I don't have to explain what happened next, but guess I will, dog crap all over the leash....Ewwww. I then had to get the dog bags from my pocket and one task I hate and always struggle with is trying to open the bloody things. Ok poop bag opened. Just then Baxter pulled on his leash and Omg! the dam thing snapped. See that's what happens when you chew on it, bad dog. I was passed myself as we were near the busy main road that runs just outside our front. I kind of panicked and started shouting 'Come here', I then calmed myself and remembered I had trained Baxter from being little to come to 'where's he at'. As soon as I said this in a calm voice and showed him a treat he came to me like a good lad. I got hold of his collar and then had the unenviable task of trying to tie a shit covered leash onto what was left of the other end, again Ewwwww. Good job I wasn't far from home. We went back home where I almost scrubbed the skin off my hands and I had to find another leash.

I then took Baxter out again and we headed over towards the allotments near the Millennium Green. There are some horses in the fields and nearby enclosure and Baxter likes to go and see them. He is one of the most friendly dogs I have ever known, so very gentle and playful.

Saying Hello

Saying Hello

   


         
 














 

The end of something and the start of something new.

Today was a bit of a landmark day as I have completed my 6th and final cycle of chemotherapy. Now I am positive I will go into remission as they call it and stay fit and healthy for sometime without fear of the 'C' word coming back to haunt me for quite sometime. I have to undergo 2 years of antibody treatment, this requires me to go and have a drug named rituxiimab  infused into my body and statistics have shown this drug helps keep the Non Hodgkin's at bay for much longer. You see the malignant cancerous cells have a unique protein surrounding them called CD20. The rituxiimab is designed to hunt down this protein and destroy the cancer cells with out harming good healthy cells. So the drug is a lot gentler than the chemo which just runs rampant and kills everything.

Short term plans are return for blood tests in a months time and then go for a scan to see if I am okay. Treatment wise it has not been as bad as I suspected. I mean sure I have had a few side effects, like feeling nauseas, tired, low blood counts and the latest one developing spots and pimples which are really annoying and quite painful.

I am now looking forward to this being the end of something and the start of something new in many aspects of my life. I have always been driven, maybe not academically, however if I want to achieve something or get something done. If I focus my attention on it I have what is known as a can do attitude and can generally achieve my aims and goals. I have learnt a valuable lesson in some respects as I have gotten older and that not everything has to be perfect or in some cases you can start things yet never have to complete them. This can be for a variety of reasons, things like you are just not really as interested as you thought you were in the given subject. Other people get in the way or lose interest or they have different views, or some other aspect of life comes along and the stuff or thing you were doing just doesn't feel as important. I have come to understand it is better to have a go and fail than just say 'I cannot do that' or not even attempt to try it. Trying is not failure it I simply a way of discovering if you really want to do something, or learning something, then doing it better each time until you are happy with the outcome. I have also discovered I cannot posssibly Fix Everything or everyone no matter how caring or understanding I am. I think one of my biggest problems, again I'm learning is that I see only Black and White, yet other people have a myriad of different shades of Grey and even some other colours coming intro play and well this can just totally confuddle me. How the hell I have got off on this tangent I do not know lol. Top tip, stick to black and white it makes things so much easier lol.

Anyoo the something new bit for me is a reflection of putting all this crap behind me and learning from it and whilst I will be continuing to do a lot of stuff I used to do I will be moving on to new things. Well this is what I envision. Is this not life for all of us any way?

Whilst chatting to a very close friend I asked her a totally random question, saying 'So if you could think of a mythical creature or animal to represent you,  what would it be?'. She had to think a while and in the meantime said, 'Oh I am not sure, what would yours be'. I can of course answer immediately as for me it would have to be a Phoenix. The way I figure, this creature represents me perfectly because it is born, has a period of fun, then the shit hits the fan, it is then born again with a new sense of purpose out of all the ashes and the chaos that caused it's demise. I am in no way complaing so don't think this is a sob story, my life has been full of ups and downs, it has brought me to exactly where I am supposed to be and made me the person I am today. I actually feel rather fortunate in a weird sense.

So on to my recovery. I am going to take the next month or so real easy, see what it brings my way and whilst I am off try and relax and not over think things. I am however going to start thinking of short, medium and longer term goals, as this promotes positive action. I am already looking forward to new sockets, trialling new knees and feet/ ankle combo's. I am looking forward to getting back to learning to run and of course swimming again. I am also very excited about working alongside Graeme Moore, a really good close personal friend of mine. Graeme is a triathlon coach over at Phoenix Triathlon and has very kindly asked me, would I like to help out within the club. I am not sure at the moment of my role, however have helped out on a few sessions with some children from a special needs school. I found this experience extremely rewarding and fun so maybe a volunteer coaching role would suit me down to the ground. I would recommend voluntary work to anyone as it gives you a tremendous feel good factor and also brings communities closer together.

Anyhoo my blogging friends watch this space as I am sure there will be many more adventures in the future and I cannot wait to share them with you.

I would like to say a huge thank you to everyone who reads my blogs, this year has been a particularly tough one, not so much the chemo, more so that it has effected what I wanted to do and made me feel lazy and at times depressed. I don't like sugar coating things, so my aim was to be honest with anyone who kept up to date with me and peoples support has been amazing. It has really helped me get through on those crappy days and on the days I have felt good well, it's just great to know I have so many loyal friends.

I notice I don't get as many comments on my blog as I do upon Facebook, so hey leave your comments any time they are a very welcome read.

Take care guys

What to do when you cannot sleep?

Well this sucks, my sleep pattern is all to hell. I'm finding I'm tempted to go out for rides at stupid O'clock just because I am bored out of my tree. Either that or I am on my pc ogling bike porn and speccing up imaginary bikes, Mmmmm what carbon bars to go for and do those colours match. Maybe I could shave a few grams off there and should I go for another Fat Bike, or full sus trail or hard tail. Do I even need another bike, well of course I do you can never have enough bikes lol.

Yep I'm bored with being off work and just feel proper lazy. This whole 'you need to rest and take it easy', well it's just not for me. I need to be out doing stuff, challenging myself or at least being mentally stimulated. The days are becoming a blur and just fading from one day to the next.

On Thursday I see my consultant so I guess i will find out if my neutrophils are low again this month. If they are it means more delays with my treatment. If they are okay, it's whoopee as this will be my final chemo session. Then it's just a case of waiting for a final scan and my bloods to get back in order and I can start thinking of my return to work and gradually get back on track. I need to start doing stuff and just having some much needed fun.

Anyhoo as like I say I have been bored I thought I may as well bore you lot by writing a blog and let you know what I have been doing when I cannot sleep. I have actually been spending quite a bit of time on Spotify searching for potential tunes I can use in any bike video's I do. I love looking for obscure tracks by artists I haven't heard of. I find when doing a bike video one of the hardest bits is not actually editing the footage it's in finding a decent tune to go with the flow of the video. I have a plan for a nice winter video and already have a cracking track chosen, just need some snow lol.

I'm going to change how I do my video's slightly and try and pick a tune, then go somewhere and try and ride to the flow of the music. It just makes it that bit more interesting I guess.

Lately I have discovered a few artists I like. I have popped a few links to Youtube with their albums.

From Indian Lakes






Another group I have discovered and quite like are Dresses. Dresses is a band from Portland, Oregon made up of Timothy Heller and Jared Ryan Maldonado. Their sound can be described as bubbly indie pop, driven by the duo's intertwining vocal melodies and harmonization.





Have fun and get some sleep lol x

When you just don't feel like going out!

The lads had been going back and forth with messages upon Facebook arranging a ride out for Saturday morning. I only sent a few short messages, saying I didn't feel like heading out, but hoped they enjoyed themselves. As the days go by I just feel weaker and weaker and everything feels like a chore.

Well Saturday morning arrived I hadn't set my alarm like I usually would and was awakened by our doorbell ringing. Thoughts ran through my head 'aww just ignore it, who ever it is will go away'. I  then thought I had better go and see who it was. As I hopped down stairs using my elbow crutches as i couldn't be arsed to pop my leg on I saw though our kitchen window that it was my friend John. I went to the back door, opened it and John came in while I made a cup of tea and had some toast. 'You not up for a ride out' John said, to which I  replied 'I'm just not feeling it mate'. Soon after our other friend Lee arrived. When Lee saw I wasn't ready he asked 'You not coming'?, again I just repeated my earlier comment to John, saying I wasn't exactly feeling good. Lee was gutted, well so was John as they love hanging with me and going for a ride. Lee always says 'I always have an adventure or something happens when I am with you'. This is pretty much true, it's very rare we go out and something either funny, interesting or bizarre happens. As I was just finishing up my toast I spotted our other friend Al pull up in his car. At this point I was feeling a bit guilty, here were all the lads and me being a pussy just because I didn't feel too good. Before All got his bike unloaded off his car I hopped upstairs and popped my bikey gear on and got ready to head out with the boys.
              

Up the mucky farmers trail with Teflon Lee

Got to love the mud

Almost a death in the family, well more of a murder really!

Yesterday was a very traumatic day for me. I was up my friends Ade and Amanda's when I received the terrible news via text from my son Kyle that one of my dearest friends, had almost lost his life. This friend has been with me for well over 20 years through thick and thin. He has been there through relationship break ups, seen me through bad times and has always been there to listen. Admittedly he never says anything back in return, but at least I know he's not going to give me shit advice, try and play me or steal any potential girls. He loves me unconditionally and never expects anything in return, well apart from the odd drink now and again.

It wasn't me

Yes I love my Groot. Groot is an umbrella tree I have had him since he was a baby. I can still remember bringing him home, aww bless he was just a wee shoot of a thing. But with love and attention he grew up to be a beautiful, though slightly weird shaped plant. The thing I especially like about Groot is he doesn't conform to other umbrella trees, he has a mind of his own and does his own thing. He sprouts his leaves at weird times and at funny angles.

I can recall when I used to have him in the living room near our sofa, we would watch films together and Groot would tickle my head with his leaves as they bent right over the back of the sofa.  I would often chat to him and tell him 'what a pretty boy, Oh yes you are' and I swear he would rustle his leaves and grow a few millimetres by the next day.

Anyhoo back to this terrible text , it went : Kyle - 'Grandad just told me that Baxter just ate some of Groot'
 
Me - 'Is Groot ok'
 
Kyle - 'He says No, Groot is not ok, he is an amputee like you now, but has lost two limbs instead of one'

Baxter is a bad bad dog

Omg wor Baxter has tried to murder my best friend. I was not a happy bunny. When I got in Groot wasn't in his normal place and I panicked thinking Ern may have buried him or something in the back garden. 'Where's Groot' I shouted up our stairs. 'He is in the sitting room' Ern replied. I opened the door and was devastated to see my usually leafy friend was bare. Two of his wonderful stalks had been eaten and the leaves and branches gone.
 
Baxter came to greet me I gave him a 'You are a bad boy look', to which he returned my look with a 'it wasn't me, honest' expression.


Groot is now down to one stalk I do hope he recovers from this traumatic incident. I will be doing everything I can to nurse him back to full health. Even though the bloke at the job centre asked if my leg was going to grow back and it hasn't so far I have faith that Groots stalks will return.

Ok I have to go it's just all too much...

Sometimes not planning a route, turns out to be the best route.

It's been ages since I last rode with my good mate Lee. What with Lee working shifts and me never knowing where or what I am going to be up to and like everyone stuff just gets in the way from time to time.  Anyhoo Lee had given me a shout on Facebook Sunday night saying 'Hey I'm off tomorrow you up for a ride out?'. 'Sure' I replied as long as it's not an epic as I have been feeling really tired over the last week or so. In fact I hate to admit it but 2 days running I had hardly gotten out of bed. It wasn't the fact I was like sleepy tired, no more of a bone weary tired. After I had rode the 38 miles or so the other week when I went down to Tynemouth and back with my other friend John I just felt absolutely knackered and it must have lingered on. I am pretty stubborn and for me feeling like this is just not on, though I am learning sometimes I do need to give myself a break and rest and take it easy, other wise it takes even longer to get myself put right and this causes me to become even more anxious and frustrated.

Down the leafy trail

Lee

A Tootle from Newcastle to Tynemouth

****Update****

Decided to play around with some of my footage from my outing with John. There was so much stuff that I could probably make 3 or 4 small movies. May do more later but for the time being this crudely put together bit will have to do :)

 

Good news on the old White Blood Count

After having my bloods retaken on Tuesday I was very surprised to discover they had risen from 0.52 all the way up to 3.79. I'm not sure what I have been doing but it must have worked. My friend Ade reckons it was that trip we had to Holy Island lol. I have been trying to exercise (maybe a little too much at times) by getting out on my bikes and I have been eating plenty of mixed fruit and berries and drinking a lot more water.

Yesterday (Thursday) I attended Shotley Bridge chemotherapy day unit for my 5th cycle of treatment. When I was there the haematology nurse came over to have a chat and explained that as my Wbc's were not recovering each time I had treatment they thought it a good idea that this cycle I only have one session of chemo and antibody and this would also be the case for my next cycle. So I have today off from treatment and I have awoken feeling quite good. The side effects to the drugs usually kicks in around 4 days later, however last month I didn't experience hardly any, well apart from the dop in my wbc count.

The hardest part for me is having to try and take things easy and being off work, it gets so boring. I have never been a one for sitting still, yet due to unforeseen circumstances a great deal of my life has forced me to do just this. I think that is why I get so wound up at times now I just want to get on. Never mind just one more session and then normal service shall be resumed and I can ease back into the swing of things.

So much to look forward to and feeling well which will be a huge bonus. I never really seem to have a plan for life I rarely know what I am doing from one week to the next however I do know I want to achieve and accomplish more, doing what well I haven't a clue.

One things for sure my future will never pass me.

Have a great day everyone x

Bad Boy Baxter

So my dad comes up into my bedroom and says ' Errr did you leave the downstairs toilet door open'. (that's where we have our shoe rack and my cycling jackets hung behind the door) 'No I don't think so' I replied 'Why'. Too which Ern said 'Well wor Baxter has been in and ate my slippers', ah well that's not so bad I thought. Then my dad said 'He has also ate part of one of your new road bike shoes', 'awwww crap that's bad' I thought. On further investigation yep Baxter has decided to chew off the ratchet strap and part of the ratchet on my new Spiuk roadie shoe.

Bad Boy Baxter

I went to his crate where he was lying, looking up with a slightly 'It wasn't me' look upon his cute little face. 'Bad dog' I said as I showed him my shoe.

These stink Anyhooo

Ern is now on sorting the downstairs toilet door making it Baxter proof. You see it did have a roller ball catch. Ern is now putting on a proper catch so that Baxter can't just nudge the door and get in. I can't be mad with him as he really is a lovely little fella. I guess if you aren't giving him 100% attention he gets bored and goes looking for trouble. Baxter loves attention, he is one of the friendliest and loveable bullys and such a character.
 

Huh it wasn't me Honest!

A very enjoyable adventure to Holy Island

Following my visit to see my friends Ade and his wife Amanda yesterday and being at a slightly loose end as I am off work, (supposed to be taking it easy) I suggested to Ade 'why don't we go somewhere tomorrow. I am useless trying to think of new places to go so asked Ade did he have any thoughts. 'oh I wouldn't mind a look to Holy Island, sometime', he said thinking that we could maybe do that sometime in the future. Ade really wanted to head up that way and get some shots of the Puffins that frequent the Island. So I suggested 'hey why don't we just go tomorrow'. I mean we both didn't have any other plans and now I have my little car, it meant I wasn't leaving Ern vehicle-less. 

Looking over to Lindisfane

Amanda checked the tidal times that evening and I arranged to come up for Ade at around 6am the following morning. I then headed home and ended up having a late night, so come 5:30 am when my alarm went off I had only had just over two hours sleep. Strangely enough I awoke feeling quite good, my niggley cough which I have had the last few weeks didn't seem as bad and I felt like I had a little more energy. I got up, washed and dressed, grabbed my gear and set off for Ade, no breakfast this morning I just didn't have time.
Arriving at Ade and Amanda's, Amanda had made me a lovely cup of tea and I only had to wait a little while, whilst Ade got his camera gear and other bits and bobs sorted, then we were off.

I'm getting to grips with the new head unit I have put into Tango. It's a canny bit of kit for the money. I bought the unit off Amazon after looking for head units with a Sat Nav function. The Unit is a Pumpkin 6.95" Android 4.4 Universal In Dash HD Touch screen Car DvD player with GPS Navigation, stereo Am and FM radio support, as well as offering SD/USB ,Bluetooth/3G/Wifi/OBD2/ 1080P

Nice features and seems to work well

A little play around with the Sat Nav and we soon had a route to follow. The unit comes with iGo maps installed on a micro SD card and once you get used to the format of how to input stuff the Sat Nav works extremely well. As I recall I think the Sat Nav said we had around 70 odd miles to get to Holy Island. 

Time to think positive

The last few months have been difficult due to all this treatment, however even more so as my white blood count has been so low. Last month I was at around 0.72 and this month it had dropped to 0.14. On today's visit to Shotley Bridge and the chemo day unit my WBC (white blood count) had only marginally risen to 0.52. Ideally I need it to be at at least 1.5 so I can have treatment, this means I have a way to go.

At the moment I have a slight cold and this could be effecting how quickly my WBC comes up. I'm going to have to be a little cautious I guess as I really don't want to be spending time in some hospital ward.
 
After calling one of the G.P's at my local surgery I felt a bit better in my thinking as the doctor agreed I really should be off work and she had no qualms about issuing me a sick note. In my head i tend to think of this whole situation as no big deal and just wish I could get the bloody thing over and done with and get back to whatever 'normal' is for someone like me.

I've spent the last few weeks feeling rather down what with one thing and another I go through periods like this and always learn from them. Sometimes I need down time to allow me to reflect and appreciate 'hey you know what I can't always fix everything and it's not always my fault'. Sometimes things just follow a course or path that makes us sad or unhappy, but hey that is just life and no matter what we try to do fate or destiny or whatever you want to call it just keeps on coursing ahead.

I guess it's now time to regroup and think positive and get things in to  perspective and just do what I do best, dust myself off say 'Fuck it' and aim to be the best person I can be for myself and others.

As many of you will know I have a habit of writing from the heart and I think that is why so many people like my writing style. As I was out riding my bike the other day and was totally knackered, a song came on my mp3 player and  the lyrics certainly touched a chord with me as that was the way I was feeling at the time, they went as follows 'Wheeling through an endless fog', how the hell I managed to then get up that geet big hill amazed me, as I was feeling pretty depressed. It's funny how music can have such an impact on you and boy at times the fog is so thick.

Today however I feel a bit different, not sure why I mean things aren't exactly great, but I just know that the fog will never remain endless. Even when we feel life isn't exactly treating us kindly, change is occurring every second of every day, sure we can feel sorry for ourselves and try to slow it down, but it is inevitable, so why not go with the flow and move forward instead or trying to remain static. I think my biggest achievement is possibly in trying to give other people hope. Especially when they hear 'yeah I get down', I'm quite proud I can also get back up and learn from my experiences each time.

Just some thoughts from today :)

Does anyone really read this anyways

I haven't been blogging as much lately I mean I have still been doing stuff, just it doesn't feel important or interesting enough to really write about and lets face it who wants to read about negative stuff, because that's the way I have been feeling. Rides out haven't been so much about fun, but pushing myself way to far, because I feel weak and it's a kind of way of saying screw you to whatever bad is going on at the moment.

I really need to get out of this sort of self destruct phase, as although no time is good to be feeling like this, well it's even worse now that these stupid white blood cells are at zero and I need to be thinking and acting positively. Everyone always comments on how positive I am and in a way this just puts additional pressure on as I'm going through a hard time at the moment and just feel pretty alone.

And that's the negative stuff out the way no need to call the Samaritans just yet lol. I really need to practice what my headline says upon my blog page, just in a difficult place at the moment. Sure normal service will be resumed quite soon.

So dark in the woods had to have the flash on

Plans for this week, none. I just wake up and see what happens, so what happened this morning. My friend John messaged me asking how I was and did I fancy doing anything. We discussed either going for a ride in Tango, but couldn't think of anywhere, or an adventure out on the bikes. Bikes it was. John always leaves the route finding to me I don't know why as I always get us lost. Sometimes getting lost is half the fun though and today was no different. We discovered yet more new single track and had to ride up a long winding bank, great more punishment lol.

Taking a break

At Lamsley on a rock

John

I tried to pop my cheerful head on for John this morning, not sure I pulled it off. I have a really dark sense of humour, something John has now become accustomed to, so we quite often have a good laugh as my pessimism can actually be quite funny.

   

I think it's raining

Today's ride was a very wet one, we hardly saw anyone out, but I really enjoyed it. I love the rain, the pitter patter as you ride through the woods as the drops hit and fall from the leaves. The suck of your tyres as you go through mud and of course once you are wet, well it doesn't make a difference if you then ride through puddles and have a bit of a splash.

A couple of selfies on to of the Causey Arch, didn't discover any 'Cocks' today

Just me soaked through

I wasn't expecting it to lash down like it did, so today's ride probably wasn't the best idea. I'm in trouble if I catch a cold or bug.

Bright Light!

And that's about all I have to say for now lol