Watch & Wait

 It has been 13 years since I was first diagnosed with Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma. I can remember clearly when it first kind of started. It was upon a ride out with my friend Carl, and coming up through Beamish and No Place. I just was not feeling quite right and at the time had terrible stomach cramps. Strangely enough these cramps would come and go, however upon each episode they got increasingly worse.

Anyhoo Carl and I had been on a day out riding up at Kielder Forest, we had had a brilliant day however at some point I had snapped the bottom bracket of my brand-new carbon fibre bike. So upon our return I had contacted the bike retailer,  Stiff who were based down Leeds way. My dad and I took the bike back to Stiff and upon inspection they agreed that the frame would be replaced under warranty, however I would have to wait around 6 weeks for a replacement from the USA.

Back in 2008 and being silly

Great memories of a day at Kielder

 

After roughly 6 weeks, my bike was back together with a new frame and my dad and I went down to pick her up. This is the part where I can recall feeling proper poorly and knowing something just wasn't right. I was doubled up in our car with the most horrible stomach pain, on the return journey, so once near home, my dad took me straight to A & E at the Queen Elizabeth in Gateshead. I had had my leg off there in the September of 2007, so we thought going there was probably better than going to Dryburn at Durham, which would have been my local hospital.

After spending hours at the QE and being poked and prodded, and very friendly doctor who had examined me came in and informed me he had discovered an unusual lymph node in my neck. It was near my collarbone on the Left. He advised he would be making an appointment for me to see a consultant near home, so Durham, and that they would take it from there.

A few weeks later, I met a friendly consultant called Dr Keenan. What I liked about her was not only her voice, as she sounded a little like Mrs Doubtfire, but her candid approach. Dr Keenan said to me "I have some good news, and some bad news"... "Oh here we go I" thought. "So, what is the bad news?" I enquired to which she replied "Oh, you have cancer". "So, what is the good news?" I asked. "Oh, it is the best one you can get". This left me a little perplexed, however as I look back on it now I just kind of thought "Huh Ok".

In 2015, I had to undergo chemotherapy, which to be fair wasn't too bad compared to some poor folk. The worst bit was the additional antibody therapy, which totally had me wrecked and lasted almost 3 years.

As time went on I was armed with information and supported through the Non Hodgkin's, the consultant and specialist nurses always on hand if I needed someone to talk too. I think the hardest thing to deal with and this is where I am leading with this particular post is the "Watch & Wait". I find it very difficult to deal with this and at times don't particularly know what I am waiting for.

I am very good at going each day without ever thinking of this thing attacking my body. I have a dark sense of humour, so find it ironic that even my own cells don't like me LoL and from what I know that is what cancer cells are. I have heard them called "eternal cells" as unlike normal cells they don't die off, they just duplicate and spread.

So to last week, upon getting up on Wednesday morning I had an upset tummy. I went to work, however as the morning went on I felt increasingly unwell with an upset stomach, and I was sweating and felt all clammy. The girls at work are all very supportive and immediately noticed I didn't look good so were fussing around, checking my obs, opening windows and popping a fan on. I then became freezing cold and just thought I had some sort of bug. I booked a Covid test and then went home, having booked the test for 1 PM down at Chester -Le- Street.

Anyhoo the test came back negative, however I haven't felt well all week and this is that part of Watch & Wait I hate. Once I am feeling unwell with my tummy, it always brings back memories of that first time riding up through Beamish and the start of that period of my life and well it sucks.

After speaking to a G.P over the phone, although he was very kind, supportive and friendly, it has still left me not knowing exactly what is going on. The doctor came up with a few thoughts, yes it could possibly be a flare up of my Non Hodgkin's, however I don't really have any other symptoms. It could be a bout of gastroenteritis, or after the doc read my notes, he thought it could be stress & anxiety.

It has been hard going back to work after 9 months of lockdown, however I don't feel particularly stressed, but hey that is the thing with stress and mental health it can kind of sneak up on you. Sometimes you can ask yourself the question and your mind lies to you, however your body reacts in a different way. I will admit, a good few months ago I was going through a low period, however using some strategies like being kind to myself, meditation and exercise buoyed me again, and have kept me afloat. Of course, I am still a little down that I keep seeing "dream houses" in Scotland and know in a perfect world where I would be and what I would be doing. I enjoy this imagining, it can take me away and well if something does come about I will already be prepared and have a plan of action.

Going back to feeling like crap, I decided to test myself today and have a ride out with my friend John. I figured if I could get a few miles in and feel relatively ok I would be ok for work on Sunday. We rode a local loop of just over 12 miles down Beamish. I was quite impressed with myself as I didn't use any power all the way up the farmer's trail and actually for a fair amount of other sections. The turbo trainer is continuing to give me a good workout. I have been switching the resistance level up just to make things interesting.

And so as I write this, almost finished, I continue to have a dicky tummy and not feel 100%. I guess time will tell what is up.

I'll leave you with a few pics from today. I have put them at the end as I can't be arsed to slot them in to my story, Lol

Ok off to dream about a cottage I have seen in Argyllshire...

Day 251 and a wee ride out.

 It's day 251 today. "Day 251 of what?", you may ask. Well of riding every day this year. Most of my riding has been done indoors on my turbo trainer, something that I just got into a habit of doing due to shielding during covid. I actually rode every day last year and this year decided to continue, however do it for a good cause, which is the Arctic ONE foundation. As I am no longer on social media I have not raised a great deal, but hey every little counts, and it has spurred me on to keep going on those days I just feel like lounging around.

If you would like to help me to support Arctic ONE that would be great

Virgin Money Giving Link

Oh! And for some reason I also decided to start doing crunch sit-ups and this has now become somewhat of a further challenge as each month I increase them by 50 each day. Last month I completed 11200 for the month, having added some extra ones when I was bored or felt particularly full of energy and this month I am already up to 3200, that is 400 per day.

I have now convinced myself I quite enjoy exercising, so came up with the bright idea of buying a gym ball. I opted for a 65 cm version. My thinking was, as I didn't have enough room in my bedroom for a weights bench, I could do some gym ball exercises in combination with my dumbbells. Wow! What was I thinking? Obviously I wasn't as the exercises are so hard to do as an above knee amputee.

I have been trying to do a variety of exercises which include crunch sit-ups, a chest press and triceps curls. I'm just pleased no one has seen me in my efforts as I'm wobbling all over the shop and swearing at this stupid leg, or lack of it depending on which way you look at it. It's just so hard to maintain my balance. I do have to say though I'm quite proud of myself and have persevered and finally feel I am improving. It's amazing just how introducing a gym ball into a workout routine can really make you feel muscles you had forgotten about, it's brilliant for core stability. Saying which, it didn't stop me falling off my bike today over at Kya Bogs Lol.

So back to today. I had a ride out with my buddy John, as he has been getting a new bike. It's an Orange Clockwork Evo 29'er and a nice bit of kit. We just played it by ear with no real direction in mind, however John kind of knows I love just tootling around Chapman's Wells, as well it's just so quiet and not many people there, so it was pretty inevitable we would end up there.

John and his new steed

I can spend hours alone over there on my bike, with my Mp3 playing, and just doing loops of the nature reserve. 

I decided to take my Silverback Synergy Fat Bike on today's outing and have to say how surprised I was at my overall fitness, the turbo trainer must be keeping me in some sort of shape. Durham Road is quite a steep bank and I "granny geared" up no worries.

When John and I got over to Langley View after riding up the Black Path at South Moor, we headed down as if going towards The Drift at Quakies, however turned off into the field behind the houses. 

I decided to take a few pics, and it was at this point John spotted the plastic guard on his cassette. "I hate the look of those things" he said, so set about trying to remove it. It turned out to be a right fanny on and in the end I had to whip out my trusty £1 utility tool and try sawing, cutting and pliering off the surround. For a quid that little tool has been spot on I even think it has a thing for removing stones out of horses hooves LoL.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anyhoo we had a lovely ride out in the beautiful sunshine, it was well worth popping in  a days annual leave. 

I will leave you with more pics from today...

 

Setting up the Camera

Misbehaving Myrtle

Myrtle is still misbehaving! She starts first time and is quite happy to plod along for a good few hours, then will mysteriously start coughing and spluttering, lose all power and eventually cut out. If I then leave her for say 30 seconds, she will restart and drive along as if nothing was the matter for a few more miles, then do it all over again.

I thought my dear old dad "The Ern" may have sorted her out the other day, but apparently not. Ern bought a laser rpm gadget and he re-timed Myrtle and adjusted her carb, thinking this may be what was causing her issue.

Myrtle 65 St Mary's

Well, when John and I decided to head out for an adventure as we were both off work today. We drove towards Gateshead/Newcastle, planning to head to Whitley Bay. I am now expecting a ticket for driving into and through a bus lane. I mean, what the F#@K which muppet decided to change the whole road layout on the approach to the Swing and Tyne Bridge. You are right on top of the bloody thing before you know it, and there are so many sign posts, traffic lights and road markings. Now that I am home and thinking about it, I still don't have a clue how the hell you are supposed to get onto the Tyne Bridge. I think it is just a ploy to get as much revenue in as possible, as when I panicked and checked my rearview mirror, there were about another five cars behind me doing the same thing. I mean was I even in a bus lane, it definitely said so and there were these big camera warning signs, but that wasn't until I was actually in the lane and by that time already potentially nabbed.

Anyhoo...

Myrtle was super well-behaved right up to Whitley Bay. We parked up at St Mary's Lighthouse to go for a little stroll and whilst there, had a chat with a few people, including a very friendly couple who had a Morris Minor 1000.

Moggy 1000

Checking out the Old Morris Minor

St Marys

It was a lot hotter than it looked in the picture

 

As we came to leave, Myrtle just did not want to start and was making some weird noises from her engine. At first, I thought the new fangled Cooler Box I had just bought the day before from Halford's had maybe flattened her battery. My dad had wired the cigarette socket in with a separate switch and I had made sure I turned the Cooler off as I left the car just in case it did drain her battery. Anyhoo Myrtle eventually decided to start and again drove perfectly, with no issues.

Handy Cooler box fits in behind the back seat

John and I didn't really have a plan of where we were going, heading up towards Blyth. I then suggested we go to Amble and John whipped out his phone to see how far away it was. For some reason we totally missed Amble I think we drove through it. Our aim was to find a nice bit of beach, so we continued up to Alnmouth.

We had a few tunes in the car today as we drove with the windows down as it was so warm. Ooh and I actually got to try out Myrtle's windscreen wipers today as it started to spit on to rain, they work and actually park, man it's the little things that make you smile.

A few tunes from my wee case

At Alnmouth I was able to park for free, the benefits of having a leg off. It was chocka block, so we had to wait awhile to nab a prime spot. I wanted somewhere I could get a few pics of Myrtle.

John happy, we found a canny spot

  A lovely day, good company a few tunes and a bit bait

       

Beach Combing for an appropriate pebble

Me

Myrtle 65

Myrtle 65

 

It was red-hot sitting on the bankside right next to the beach. We took my vintage boom box out of Myrtle and sat and listened to some music whilst we ate our sandwiches and snacks, the Cooler box has been a good buy the pop was lovely and chilled, as were my yoghurts I had brought along.

I had a bit of a beach comb looking for a pebble for John and presented him with a small one just big enough to keep in his pocket. I told him all about the gratitude stone I keep in my pocket and how it helps me to be grateful and put things in to perspective.

a wee gratitude pebble

After a while we packed up and drove out of the car park, Myrtle didn't half catch the speed humps on the way out, weird as she was okay coming in.

  

Warkworth Castle on the way there

Driving past the castle on the way back

After a little bit more Googling, John being my navigator, we found the A1 South. Myrtle was cruising along nicely at between 40 and 50 mph. Then, as we went to climb up an incline, she decided to try and do her dying swan act. "Oh no, not here Myrtle, come on just a little bit further please". Fortunately, we had just passed a sign for Parking and a lay-by, so I pulled in. Myrtle proceeded to cut out. I waited about a minute and turned her key, where she proceeded to burst into life and was fine. We managed to get all the way along the A1 turning off for Consett and Myrtle was fine until we hit Rowlands Gill bank where I had to pull in again. Actually we had stopped in Rowlands Gill just before that as my memory serves as the bloody speed hump had attacked Myrtle's front number plate. John had to get out and pull the remaining hanger off as it was dragging along the road.

The main thing is Myrtle eventually got us home. Once home, I was telling Ern about our trip, and he immediately went and had a look at Myrtle. There was a little bit of oil lying in her engine bay, we think it has come from the oil switch, so I am going to order a new one. My dad has also pulled out her back seats and unbolted the inspection cover to look at Myrtle's electric fuel pump. I personally think this maybe the culprit, because I just feels as if Myrtle is loosing fuel when pulling hard, like on the motorway or when going up a hill. So we are investigating getting a new fuel pump, regulator and bracket to try and reposition the fuel pump and also put hardlines in, as Ern doesn't like the idea of a rubber line being so close to the engine where it gets hot.

We have also had Myrtles passenger side rear wheel and brake drum off to check her brake shoes. We were just about to do the drivers side when it started raining, maybe we will get it checked out tomorrow or Saturday. When I reverse in Myrtle, there is a sound coming from somewhere. I thought she may have been picking up a brake shoe, but the passenger side looks ok.

Ahh! the joys of owning an old quirky car, huh? My pulling on Myrtle's rear wing to no avail has now resulted in a crack in her paint work, so I guess that is an excuse to have her re-painted sometime in the future...

Short tough ride, is it because I am getting old?

 It has been well over 2 months since I last had a ride out with my friend John. He has had a few days off work, so suggested we have a little look out. Both of us aren't exactly as fit as we used to be. I mean I have ridden every day for 579  days now, and I am on Day 161 of this year, however that has mostly been on my turbo trainer, and although I get quite the sweat on it is totally different to being out in the real world and climbing hills and going over rougher terrain. Not only that I decided to take my Fat Bike and although it is so much fun it can be a bit harder work.

Out with John Day 161 x

Did I mention I am riding every day this year for Arctic One, a charity who have supported myself and many other people? Arctic ONE is not one of these big, well known charities, however the work they do is nothing short of amazing. If you can spare anything great or if you just would like to see what Arctic ONE is about and what they do, either search for them on Facebook or checkout www.arctic1.co.uk

Virgin Money Giving Link

This morning I had to re-attach my tendons to my Bartlett Tendon. I got the first bolt in, tightening it up with my mini torque wrench and went to put the second bolt in for the cam and the bloody bolt snapped. Fortunately I had a spare and the broken piece came out fairly easily by using a screwdriver.

 

Broken stud in my knee

By the time I had fannied on with my leg, John had arrived, so as usual he had to wait a little while till I got my gear sorted.

We were soon off just making a route up as we went and deciding as we were not exactly fit just to stay local and not go too far. It was more just about being out than how far.

Basically, we headed over to Chapman Wells Nature reserve and just had a tootle around whilst chatting.

Out on the BTK and my Fat Bike

John patiently waiting for me to position camera

My Silverback Synergy Fat developed a horrible clicking sound, which progressed to a screech at times, so I think my bottom bracket is on its way out. Ern is going to inspect it for me, never mind the bike got me home and nothing dropped off or seized up.

John and Glenn

John

Not a very exciting tale I am afraid the heat has zapped my energy over the last few days, not complaining mind you. I just feel so fortunate and grateful to be able to do all the things I am able to do.

Riding back up the trail

Fuel

   Next week I am away to see the Cancer Specialist Nurse for a review, so far the treatment has kept my Non Hodgkin's at bay and I haven't felt any lumps or bumps. I am still having a few minor issues with socket fit, however again feel fortunate as it has been probably 3 or maybe even 4 years since Pace Rehabilitation  designed my current socket and in that time I have only been back to the Disability Service Centre maybe two or three times.

All about the things you can do