A lovely afternoon out, over at Wylam.

Friday evening and my usual venture up to my good friends Ade and Amanda's. It has become a part of my weekly schedule to go up on a Friday evening and there we have a catch up talking about the weeks events and Amanda makes me several cups of tea and plies me with various cakes, biscuits, bags of crisps and even on occasion ice cream lollies.

Anyhoo on Friday I mentioned to Ade I would really like to try and get some decent photo's of Hagg Bank Bridge as Rachael had mentioned she liked the bridge as it used to be on her daily commute on her way into work each day when she was on the train. So I arranged with Ade that we would have a drive over that way the following day.

After having a bit of a nightmare getting my new car, "Tango" taxed because of this cherished plate transfer. I was over the moon to have been able to sort it all out on Friday morning. So my little Smart car was all road legal and I was looking forward to a blast out in her. The little Smart is so much fun to drive and quite pokey around town, in fact it surprises quite a few drivers just how quick it is. Quite a few people have a habit of pulling out on me as they think "Oh it's only a Smart Car".
 

Tango

Continuing to get out

It's all just about getting out, it doesn't really matter where. I'm happy as long as I can try to retain some semblance of fitness and not just sit in the house feeling utterly fed up and bored. I have had way too much of that in the past and whenever illness creeps up I panic.

I'm going to keep this a short blog as I think people get fed up with just reading about me going out on my bike and writing about it all the time. I mean I do always try to put a bit of something in my writing, whether it's humour, a little history now and again or just how I'm dealing with stuff and others may take something from that...I don't know. Writing these blogs is therapeutic for me and it also gives me something to look back on. Sure some of the memories aren't fond ones, but the majority are. Sometimes we have to go through the bad times to truly appreciate just what
a good time we are having.

Beautiful skies

Moo cows in the lush field

Down the Trail

Today's ride out was a 20 miler with my friend John. John and I are regular riding partners and although we haven't been out as much this year I know all I have to do is give John a shout and he is there to go for a ride and brighten up my day. We chat about anything and everything, mainly me doing the talking as well I'm good at it.


It was a cracking day for a ride. I don't know where John got his weather forecast from the night before but it was most definitely not raining and windy.

Rather than explain exactly where we went I will just say it was a local loop taking in the Lanchester Valley route and back home. We stopped along the Lanchester Valley Route to eat the berries I had brought along. Raspberries,black berries and blue berries. By the time I was finished with the blue berries my hand were all stained. I am trying to maintain eating lots of berries in the hope my bloods remain high, unlike a few weeks ago.

Lovely Berries

As we started back along the trail I informed John I was really socket sore. At the moment I have a really tender area where I weight bare on my sockets and wow is it hurting. So a little further down the trail I stopped and retrieved a Mepilex border which is a kind of plaster out of my bag. I then found a hidden spot between some bushes and proceeded to drop me draws and stick this plaster on my ass. They don't take away all the pain, but do give a little relief from the constant chaffing when I'm riding. The soreness and pain is one of the biggest limiting factors to my distance riding, well that and I am knackered from the chemo at the minute.

 

Berry stained fingers

As we came off the Lanchester Valley we headed up to Consett and got a coffee and a chocolate doughnut each from MacDonald's and sat out side and had a chat over them. We then headed back. When we came to near the Transformers sculptures I bumped into one of my old school friends dad. Dennis and his friend Doug are always out walking. I spent a good 20 minutes asking after him and Steven and the rest of his family and also about some of the places we have ridden and visited locally. Dennis likes history and walking so it was nice to share some of the trails we have been on. John and I then said our farewells and we continued on our way.

   

Lots of pretty flowers this time of year

As we got to the Ox Inn I called in. I am after some glasses you see. I want to get them for Rachael as she likes the design and the drink called Old Moot. It's a cider made in New Zealand I believe. My daughter Kayleigh had said the Ox may have some so I thought I would just go in and ask if they had any spare I could buy. The lasses behind the bar were very friendly, telling me they thought they had a few but the bar manager wasn't in and it would be up to her if they could sell the glasses. I just left my name and number on a piece of paper however haven't had a call as yet. Hey if you happen to have any old Moot glasses you don't want you know where to send them lol.

As I came out of the Ox I bumped into another cracking lad I know. So Steven and I shared a canny bit banter outside, me telling him about my new pup Baxter and Steven saying I would have to call along his sometime to show him Baxter. Again said our goodbye's and John and I continued down to Stanley and through the Front Street, then under the subway  and down Wear Road to  where John lives. "catch you later mate" I said  as I rode off down towards Durham Road and home. I even managed to get in our back yard without falling off, bonus.

   

The old Fat Bike is in need of some tlc

Whipped my BTK limb off and popped my everyday one on and then washed my little Smart car and gave her half a polish. Yeah I only polished the bonnet, roof, wings and the drivers side door. I was then knackered. I used Maguire's 3 stage stuff so had to go over each panel 3 times. Stage 1 a paint bringer backer upper'rer . Stage 2 a polish and stage 3 some canuba  wax. Tango now looks half shiny.

I'm a bit pissed off at moment car wise as I cannot use my little car. The car came with a private plate and I don't have the log book slip so cannot tax her. The previous owner wants this private plate back so I am not sure what the cars new registration will be. It's a right pain in the arse and very frustrating as I want to go out for a spin lol

What do you do to relieve stress?

So the other night I was feeling slightly stressed.  I had intended on heading out for a ride all day, but just never got around to it, busy sorting this daft bedroom out. When I did decide to finally go out I couldn't find my under shorts and then when I finally did find them I couldn't find my rear light. This just compounded my frustration and led to more feelings of "Aghhhhhh" I can't explain so that kind of sums it up.

Eventually I found all my gear but was so demotivated I decided to put it all away safely and just lie around feeling decidedly unhappy with myself "Pffffff".

This chemo has had some weird effects on me. I get really emotional and with being off work me being me I feel lazy. I'm not as active as I was and this gives me way too much time to over think every single situation and detail and generally get it totally wrong, creating more problems and complexities within my lets face it pretty simple life. Oh and did I mention my eye sight is horrendous now. I spoke to a MacMillan nurse and she informed me it may be due to the treatment. Driving on a night is the worst, as car lights feel like laser beams, they are just so bright. I quite often have to squint.

Looking out over Stanley at all the lights

The 3 Amigos ride again

It's been sometime since the 3 Amigo's have ridden together. I haven't seen Lee in months, what with not getting out and riding as much and then of course we all have our various jobs and different lifestyles and things to be doing. John on the other hand I see quite a bit of, well when I have been feeling well.

Anyhoo today was to be a special day and a chance for us all to have a catch up. Lee and John had done most of the arranging via Facebook and I just said "yeah I'll come along". The weather was supposed to be nice and we decided a route which would take us to Parkhead Cafe. It's round about a 37 mile there and back and the stop at the cafe halfway is always a welcome treat.
John arrived at my house for about 7:45 am and in typical fashion I was late. I always and i mean always lose something. This morning I couldn't find my Endura shorts and Arctic ONE Buff. Ern has been on sorting my inner wardrobes shelving in my room and everything is disorganised so my Ocd type layout of clothing which goes something like long sleeved shirts in colour order, short sleeved shirts with collars, T Shirts, Jeans, then casual shorts and then mountain bike gear colour organised was in total disarray. At the moment I have mountain bike gear with long sleeved dress shirts and shorts with other shorts that aren't mountain bike ones...Ok I'm going to stop writing about that as it's stressing me lol. You get the idea chaos in my room.

Eventually I discovered my Endura shorts hiding on the bottom rail and my Buff was where I had last put it in my Camelbak. Job sorted. I got my Fat Bike out and John and I headed over for Lee. Lee was almost ready and we were soon on the roll, heading over to the Font so that lee could grab a few quid out of the Post Office Speedbank.

We rode up past the entrance to South Moor Golf course and past the new housing estate, going up towards South Moor. A quick ride up Popular Street and we were soon at the bottom of the Black Path and heading up it to the top and Langley View. Soon we were over the road and up to the Morrison and his is where we got on the C2C. From there it's straight up to Parkhead, taking in Leadgate and Consett, before coming to Waskerley.
 

The 3 Amigos

Tango!

Me n Tango!

Upon visiting Ade and Amanda on Tuesday afternoon, talk came around to cars and my lack of one. I haven't had a car now since I sold my MINI  COOPER S way back in ooh I think it was 2007, a good few months before I had my leg amputated. Part of the cash I got for my car I gave to my dad to put towards our little Honda Jazz and the rest well I bought a rather expensive mountain bike.

Love at first sight

Anyhoo I was chatting way to Amanda and she asked me what did I fancy car wise. I have always fncied a "Smart Car" and had even done lots of research into getting one and then having it modified with a Hyabusa motor. The problem I always encountered was how to make the car semi automatic as I struggle with a clutch.

 Amanda happened to look upon Auto-trader asking me "what colour are you after", "Oh an Orange one I jested". After a few moments Amanda said "Hey there is one here in Orange". So I had a look and thought "wow that looks cool and it's not badly priced". Amanda sent me the link and I didn't really think anything more about it until the following day whilst out shopping with Ern.

"I'm just going to ring that garage and see if the car is still there" I said. I spoke to a lovely lad named Dean and pretty much decided then and there, you know what I'm going down to have a look at this car this afternoon.

Tango!

So that's what I did. I rang Ade asked him did he fancy a look down with Ern and I and we drove to Bradford. The garage was right next to Bradford Football ground and the Smart was in the forecourt, gleaming away. Dean invited me to check the car out, which I did and then it was job done. Make payment, sort out insurance then we had a drive home.

I'm very pleasantly surprised by this small shoebox on wheels. It is quite pokey for a 1.0 litre. I'm not sure I like the auto box as it is slow to change, however I have heard a remap can help with this. The interior is funky and has loads of room and I can get in and out with ease. It's also great on petrol and very comfy and fun to drive. The engine sound canny for a little car and the whole car feels like driving a go cart.

Rachael has decided to name my car Tango, it seems to fit as it is quite a bright orange colour.

Enjoyable jaunt out, but I can feel cells dying!

Had a really enjoyable ride out with John this morning. It was only a 15 mile local loop, taking in the Turbines on the Lonely road and more disgusting asshole fly tippers then down into Chapman's Wells. Then from there a ride back out and down to Holmeside , through the tail end of Craghead and down to Grange Villa. This is where we bumped into a very nice gentleman named Trevor and shared a good bit friendly banter.

Fly Tippers

Nice Filter on here

  Trevor asked about my prosthetic leg and informed both John and I he used to love to mountain bike, but unfortunately due to illness could no longer get out a s much. It was lovely talking to Trevor as I shared a certain empathy with him. Things like how at times you have felt like giving up, the "why me syndrome" and what the hell am I going to do now. Before giving yourself a good talking to and saying "you know what life isn't quite over just yet". Anyhoo long story short I told Trevor about my Blog and invited him to catch up with me on Facebook. We then discussed having a meet up at the Shepard and Shepherdess for a pint or tow. I love meeting new people and hopefully brightening up their day with a friendly "hallo". Life is so unexpected and you just have to go with the flow and grab all the opportunities you can.

  

Wheeeee!

Got to have a bit play

Even John joined in

 After saying shaking Trevor's hand and saying "bye", John and I headed up through Newfield, John getting the inevitable dog turd on his front tire. Well it wouldn't be a ride out with John if he didn't get some poo on his bike. It was then eventually across to High Handenhold where we got on the C2C and the route home. As we rode up the line I recognised my old boss from when I worked at Royal Mail. Melvin was a great manager and a gentleman I hold in very high regard. It was great to have a brief catch up.


Off the C2C and up Barn Hill, around by the indoor market and we were soon on to Stanley Front Street. I left John at his house saying "ta ta" and rushed down home to grab a shower. I was going to head out with my other friends Ade and Amanda and their middle son Jordan. I love hanging with all the Hair family as they are so warm and friendly. Ade and Amanda had invited me the day before to come along to the Hilltop and I "thought why not".


The Hilltop at East Stanley has all just been done out and made into a like proper prime beef type restaurant, that sells absolutely delicious steaks as well as fish and chips and other tempting things on their menu. I opted for a 12oz Rib Eyed Steak and wow was it beautiful, cooked to perfection, in my case medium rare. It was very reasonably priced to at £10.49. After the meal I was thinking I could possibly have polished off the 16oz, but not sure about the 32oz lol.

Mmmmmmm!

All in all a canny day like. Starting to feel the effects of the chemo again today. It's a strange feeling like yo can feel certain bits dying. I'm so tired right now. Quite a few people have commented I am maybe overdoing it, but I don't think so. I am feeling rather guilty being off work, so will see how I feel next week and hopefully make a return. Only 2 more cycles then I'm done with the chemo. I still have to go back and forth for antibody treatment of course for the next year and a half, but that is only once per month.

Ok will leave it there...

A painful day some unavoidable, some self inflicted

Yesterday as my bloods were sort of ok to go ahead with my chemo I received my 4th cycle. Wow it was tough going. After the nurse gave me some antihistamines I became really tired and kept nodding off. Thing was I couldn't get comfortable in the awful high chair I was sat in. The arms were to low so I ended up with a crick in my neck as I dozed. Five Hours sat in that chair and I was stiff as a board. It wasn't all bad however as I got chatting to some rather interesting fellow patients. One of whom informed me she was a psychologist working for the Open University. I really enjoyed our conversation and I am very proud that I can hold an intelligent back and forth. To think of years ago when I was practically socially isolated I wouldn't have had anything to chat about, never mind know how to do it.

Following my treatment I felt a bit like a space cadet as well as feeling a bit nauseous. This hasn't happened on my previous treatments, well not immediately, it's usually a few day later.

Rachael has been a star keeping me going with friendly daily text messages as she is away. This has really helped boost my morale and I am so looking forward to seeing her again on Sunday.

Today as I was only getting the chemotherapy drug I wasn't at the clinic as long. Thing is today the infusion really did bloody hurt. The chemotherapy drug comes straight out of the refrigerator and as it went in i got a sort of hard to describe sensation. A bit like a burn, yet freezing cold. I suppose I can only imagine it as like a frost bite sort of sensation. I was so glad when it was over. Sandra the very friendly nurse gave me a towel to drape over my arm whilst the drugs went in. In an effort to keep my arm warm.

Following my treatment I decided not to ring Ern and get a lift home, no in my wisdom I decided to set myself a challenge and walk the 8 miles home. So off I set in a poorly fitting socket and my flat soled shoes. Both socket and shoes were to prove a nightmare. As I blistered on my sit bone and my good foot within the first mile. Ah well only another seven to go. By the time I reached about mile four I was really struggling. Just then Rachael gave me an unexpected call and this really helped me through the next mile and a half as we chatted. Rachael is so loving and caring and I could tell she was a bit concerned, saying "don't over do it, call your dad". "It's a challenge" I replied to which she giggled. I think she is starting to understand what I am like and admires my determination and positivity. These are two qualities that sort of drew us together and I am very proud I possess them. So many people just sit around and whine and bitch, instead of taking positive action to enrich their lives.

By the time I approached the top of South Moor bank and the traffic lights at the Arch I was in so much pain. The worst was yet to come however and that was getting down the bank to my house. I decided to use a tactic I use when out on my single speed a zig zag through the houses and down the bank. Eventually I got in, it had taken me 3 hours and 47 minutes not a record I know. I covered 7.85 miles and I also burnt off 828 calories which is a few KitKats.

What a relief taking my leg and shoe off. Ahhhhh! time for a nice bath.... OMG! that stings as the water touched my botty blister. Just bought some lovely honey bath and shower gel, it was so relaxing and really hit the spot. Not bothered if our Kayleigh says I'll smell like a lass.

Now out the bath and feeling rather proud yet rather sickly, tired and sore. A rest day tomorrow me thinks then I'm off to see Rachael on Sunday and can't wait.

When the bad stuff just fades away...

As planned,  my friend John and I had a cracking ride out yesterday. I think it is the furthest I have ridden this year, not sure, but definitely the furthest whilst undergoing chemo and the furthest on my Fat Bike riding with Surly Nates. Those tires drag so much.

A riding selfie, it's all the craze with the young kids I swear

Our adventure began as usual at my house. John had contacted me the day before and asked did I fancy a ride out. To be honest, what with my blood results being better and being able to spend sometime with the new lady in my life Rachael on Sunday, I felt on top of the world. Yeah! there are still certain aspects in my life which suck, like being ill and being off work, but hey these will come right in due course. At the moment I'm just feeling so much love from Rachael and all my family and friends who have been ever so supportive.

Baxter has an aversion to water.

A rather laid back morning this morning. Having decided to take my good friend William Rosche's advice I made a bowl of porridge and went on to put in various berries into the mix. There were blackberries,strawberries,raspberries and blueberries. William has advised I try to eat a more healthy and balanced diet and add lots of berries, so that's just what I did.

As the weather was a bit naff outside and I'm still not quite feeling myself I decided I would have a root through my mp3 collection and on Spotify and make an album up of old tunes I like and maybe some new ones I could discover.

My dad is on sorting my bedroom out as we have totally stripped it. The wallpaper is off, the old bed has been thrown out and I'm waiting for a new one to arrive on Tuesday. Skirting board have been replaced and holes filled in walls. New sockets, switches and door handles purchased as well as a rather cool Chameleon light which I am looking forward to seeing in action. I asked Ern if I could do anything to help to which he replied "No not really", so I continued  searching for tunes. Well I tried to, you see we have this mischievous pup who is into everything. I finally had to give up and go keep him occupied, of course this was after he had done his Andrex puppy impersonation. Funny how on the TV the adorable Labrador runs away with the toilet roll and gently rolls it out. A bull terrier doesn't do this, no he much more prefers to take it out in the garden and proceed to rip it to shreds and have it all over the place. That's another toilet roll down. As there were none left he then decided what the hell I may as well eat the toilet roll holder. So it was fun and games chasing him around the house to retrieve the holder.    At lunch time Kyle and I decided to have a little snack. I had bought some asparagus and Parma ham as I had seen quite a few people eating it on these cookery programs and was interested to try it. It's a real easy snack to prepare, just wrap the ham around the asparagus and bang it in the oven for 5 minutes and hey presto done. Kyle wasn't exactly sure if he liked it. I however thought it was rather nice and would definitely have it again. It is a good source of vitamin E don't you know.

Baxter was back up to his usual tricks and pestering Ern as he tried to get stuff done. So Kyle suggested we take him out for a little walk. "How about the forges down at Beamish" I suggested. So off we set in the car. It doesn't take long to get down there. As we drove to where we could park up, it was absolutely chucking it down. Baxter was not impressed in the least and dragged all the way in to the woods, his little ears pinned back and trying to shake himself dry.

Baxter not impressed at all

 Once in the woods we took him to the small ford. He gave us the look "Nope it's never going to happen". Eventually he figured out how to step over from stone to stone without getting his paws wet. As Kyle went over the bridge I walked through the ford and brought Baxter along with me. It wasn't too deep, but he did not like it one bit. A few riders on horses passed us by in the woods and Baxter wasn't to sure of these, giving a little unsure growl. Finally he started to get a bit more confident and began to lead the way sniffing and exploring. We only went a short way before turning around and heading back, yes I dragged him through the ford again.

Got back home and Baxter was filthy and we were soaked through. Just enjoyed a nice hot shower.

  

I'm stuck

     

Is that a horse I spot

Screw You Cancer!

Yesterday I received a phone call from the cancer specialist nurse over at the University Hospital North Durham. She asked had I been to get my blood tests done, as I was due to be having my 4th cycle of chemo on Thursday and Friday. Last weeks was delayed as my neurophils, something I know nothing about were low. Apparently your neutrophils are the most abundant (40% to 75%) type of white blood cells and form an essential part of the innate immune system. They are formed from stem cells  in the your bone marrow. Anyhoo mine were low last week and so I needed to have more tests done before I could go ahead with treatment.

 

What?

 

Dodgy blood tests

After attending the chemo unit at Durham last Wednesday for my routine blood check I was informed there was a problem with my white blood cell count, something called neutrophils. This means my immune system is pretty low and I am at a higher risk of infection and becoming neutropaenic. All big words I know, not sure I understand everything myself.

I have felt real tired over the last few weeks and thinking I was going to get my chemo on Thursday and Friday of last week I had the days booked off.  I decided to still take the days and aslo take a few more as a sort of breather before I hopefully am allowed to go ahead with more treatment this Thursday and Friday. I just want to get it over with and then get back to some semblance of normality.

I'm really missing not riding as much, as well as not keeping up with my swimming. I'm really critical of myself and also really hard at times. So this lack lustre feeling of no motivation is really bugging me. Luckily I have some great support and it helps immensely.

Lots of things are going on in my life some not so good, whilst others are simply amazing. Lots of mixed up feelings and emotions that I am trying to understand, whilst trying to not over analyse and wreck everything.


Love this cartoon image and quote  so thought I  would share.

Neglecting my duties, a short blog for a short ride...

It has been almost a month since I last blogged. I know this because my last blog was about what cycle I was up to and come Thursday and Friday I will be on with my next cycle of treatment. Wow where has the time gone? It seems as if four months have gone in the blink of an eye.

Most of this years posts whilst I have always tried to remain positive and optimistic have had a bit of a negative flavour to them, well I think they do. I think it's because instead of realising I'm doing quite well I am overly critical of the fact I haven't done as much as in previous years. Sometimes it's a good exercise just to stop and actually take stock and look back as we can find that in reality we haven't had a bad year, and hey it's not quite over yet.

Anyhoo I said I would keep this short so true to my word. Today following work I called in to see my friends John and his wife Christina. I also got the opportunity to see how John and Christina's baby, Amber is doing. I was quite surprised when Christina handed me Amber, it has been sometime since I held a baby. I didn't want to let on to Christina that the last time I held a baby was probably wor Kyle and I dropped him on his head. Of course only joking. I asked John did he fancy a short ride out and he was very keen. It's been ages since we rode together I just haven't had the motivation or energy, guess I'm feeling  a bit like Austin Powers when he lost his MoJo.

John and I headed out from my house after I got ready and took one of our all time favourite routes and the Farmers trail. Wow today was pretty hot and it sure did zap my energy. I'm pretty pleased with myself as although we only rode 10 or so miles we did take in 3 canny climbs and I didn't get off on any of them. Yeah I'm feeling tired now but so pleased I went out. In truth a certain person who shall remain nameless has motivated and inspired me.

    

John

Me on the Sandman

Coming down the trail

Like this shot

Getting closer

Nice shot of the Surly Nates

Lovely view over the hill of all the bales

My Arctic One band on top of some clay pigeons

  

Cycle 3 sessions 5 and 6

It's that time of the month again, where I have to go for my chemotherapy and antibody treatment. Wow the time is flying by. Once this cycle is done I'm half way through. This will be cycle 3, sessions 5 and 6.

Yesterday I visited Shotley Bridge Hospital for my treatment. Now it's been established I have not got an allergic reaction to the Ritixmab the antibody drug I'm currently on I am allowed to go to a smaller hospital. It's a lot easier for me as getting parked at Durham's UHND can be a bit of a nightmare. I am sure glad I didn't have a reaction to the drug as apparently it can be quite nasty and scary, the nursing staff comparing it to something like anaphylactic shock.

The treatment took around 5 hours to all go through yesterday, it's a bit uncomfortable sitting in one place that long as you get all stiff and the time drags. Not complaining though as I always meet some very pleasant people who are also getting various treatments. It's very nice to hear of their stories and experiences and in turn tell them some of mine. The McMillan nurses are also amazing, oh and I can't forget the McMillan volunteers who provide assistance and a warm welcome, they do a sterling job.

Following my treatment my dad, Ern, treated me to a Big Mac at MacDonald's. I was Hank Marvin, even though I had had a chicken sandwich at around lunch time very kindly given to me by the hospital.

I have noticed as time has gone by and after each session of treatment it's effecting me just that little bit more. Last night for instance I felt really sick. I know it's a common side effect of chemo, however I haven't really experienced it on my other two treatments until around 4 to 7 days afterwards. When I awoke this morning I felt a bit better and I'm now just waiting for 2 O'clock to come around and my next session. If I'm honest I'm feeling a little intrepid about these next sessions as I know physically I'm feeling just a little more tired and uncomfortable after each one.

Recently I had to go back and see my haematology doc as I have been getting really itchy areas of skin. It appears I am having some sort of a reaction to some of the treatment or drugs I'm taking. My friend Amanda researched general side effects of the chemo and stuff and it looks as if I have what are called "Hives". Boy when they flare up they are so annoying and rather sore, painful and very, very itchy. When I go for a shower and they are there, it's like when you have a bad sunburn, you know that burning sensation as the water cascades over your skin.

All in all I don't feel I have to much to complain about, my lumps and bumps have all but gone and so far I have been able to continue in my physio assistants role. I was gutted I had to quit my other new job. It just came at the wrong time and I felt myself getting stressed over being over committed. I have learnt that I have to do what is right for me and having undue stress in your life is no good at all.

So on a physical level I am feeling guilty about not getting out, but do realise I have to give myself a break. I haven't turned a crank in weeks. Yesterday I walked up 4 flights of stairs I hate taking the lift and boy was I knackered by the time I got to the top. Mentally I'm in a fairly good place and proud of how I'm coping with stuff. Yeah I'm real annoyed with my self for my lack lustre motivation in wanting to head out and ride, or even swim, but like I say I have to listen to my body and not over do. I mean it's not like I have anything to prove.

I felt quite proud yesterday and hopefully don't come across as being big headed when I say I get this often, when a fellow patient commented on my positivity. I don't know if you would class my analytical mind as a downfall and a hinderance or if it is actually a postive aspect of who I am, but it does allow me to think deeply about every situation and nine times out of ten put things in perspective. One of the best things ever for me is being able to work on a busy ward with some people who are very ill. This gives me focus and everyday I count my blessings as I realise just how lucky I am to have the life I do.

Well I guess I've wrote enough on that subject for today. "No pics" I hear you say.
   

Baxter an I

 Ahh well I went out in the garden this morning with Baxter and my son Kyle and we got a few so here they are. Baxter has just had his second set of shots so this coming Tuesday can go out for his first walkies out side of our garden. I'm very excited to be able to take him out and show him so of our local haunts where we used to walk Mr Hink's. When he is a bit older and I'm well I am looking forward to see if he will attempt a swim with me up at Druridge Bay.

Baxter and Kyle

Baxter is an amazing little lad. So far he has learnt "where's he at" and comes running. He responds very well to the training clicker. Baxter now can have a treat put directly in front of him and be told "Leave" and will follow command. I'm very impressed in how quickly he has picked up all these commands. We are currently on learning "Down" and "Paw". Oh and trying to get him out of the habit of chasing feet and undoing shoe laces as well as picking up everything he isn't supposed to pick up in our garden, including twigs, leaves and attacking the flowered bushes.

   

Eyes on the prize

Ain't he cute

Baxter loves ears

Baxter

Scuffed nose off the bushes

Have I got  to get my pic taken

Fun fights

Wor Baxter supporting Arctic ONE

Wow it's hard work trying to get a pic of wor Baxter. As soon as you put a camera near him he is either on the move or comes over to investigate what it is you are trying to take a picture of. At the moment everything is new to him so it's a case of testing everything with his mouth. A kind of "if  I can't eat it. I may as well chew it to discover why I can't eat it".

Baxter with his Arctic ONE Buff

Yesterday I managed to get a few snaps of Baxter wearing an Arctic ONE buff. It was a little bit big for him and obviously he thought it was some game as he tried to get it off and run around with the buff. At one point we had a real tug of war as I tried to get it off him. 

Baxter

Anyhoo managed to get a few shots. It's weird when I have looked back at the images how big they make him appear. Really he's quite small, being only 9 weeks old. Everything about him is so cute and he has an awesome character. I have already seen over the past couple of days that he is a lot more well behaved than Mr Hink's when he was that age. Don't get me wrong Hink's was awesome, but he was one of the most mischievous puppies, who was very very strong willed. So far Baxter has been very well behaved. Like most puppies he nips now and again, as he is mouthing, his teeth are like little needles. He is relatively good though as he stops when told off.  His little bark is so cute, yesterday he was telling the birds in the garden off and today he has been barking at the TV. Everything is an adventure to him at the moment in his new world and it's great to see him learning and experimenting with different things.

We are trying not to feed him tit bits as he gets all the nutrients and goodness from his puppy food. It's hilarious to see him sniffing the air when something which is new to him is prepared. He gets ever so excited. When ever anyone is in the kitchen he will sit patiently right at your feet looking up with his tiny little glinting eyes and just give you that look.

One of the most adhering things about Baxter is his little grunts and squeaks as if he is trying to talk to you, that and the fact he loves cuddles. He is a very loving little chap and has already stolen our hearts.