Saturday, 31 October 2015

Almost a death in the family, well more of a murder really!

Yesterday was a very traumatic day for me. I was up my friends Ade and Amanda's when I received the terrible news via text from my son Kyle that one of my dearest friends, had almost lost his life. This friend has been with me for well over 20 years through thick and thin. He has been there through relationship break ups, seen me through bad times and has always been there to listen. Admittedly he never says anything back in return, but at least I know he's not going to give me shit advice, try and play me or steal any potential girls. He loves me unconditionally and never expects anything in return, well apart from the odd drink now and again.

It wasn't me

Yes I love my Groot. Groot is an umbrella tree I have had him since he was a baby. I can still remember bringing him home, aww bless he was just a wee shoot of a thing. But with love and attention he grew up to be a beautiful, though slightly weird shaped plant. The thing I especially like about Groot is he doesn't conform to other umbrella trees, he has a mind of his own and does his own thing. He sprouts his leaves at weird times and at funny angles.

I can recall when I used to have him in the living room near our sofa, we would watch films together and Groot would tickle my head with his leaves as they bent right over the back of the sofa.  I would often chat to him and tell him 'what a pretty boy, Oh yes you are' and I swear he would rustle his leaves and grow a few millimetres by the next day.

Anyhoo back to this terrible text , it went : Kyle - 'Grandad just told me that Baxter just ate some of Groot'

Me - 'Is Groot ok'

Kyle - 'He says No, Groot is not ok, he is an amputee like you now, but has lost two limbs instead of one'

Baxter is a bad bad dog

Omg wor Baxter has tried to murder my best friend. I was not a happy bunny. When I got in Groot wasn't in his normal place and I panicked thinking Ern may have buried him or something in the back garden. 'Where's Groot' I shouted up our stairs. 'He is in the sitting room' Ern replied. I opened the door and was devastated to see my usually leafy friend was bare. Two of his wonderful stalks had been eaten and the leaves and branches gone.

Baxter came to greet me I gave him a 'You are a bad boy look', to which he returned my look with a 'it wasn't me, honest' expression.

Groot is now down to one stalk I do hope he recovers from this traumatic incident. I will be doing everything I can to nurse him back to full health. Even though the bloke at the job centre askedif my leg was going to grow back and it hasn't so far I have faith that Groots stalks will return.

Ok I have to go it's just all too much...

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