Two birds with one stone

I am sure you know what I mean when I use the phrase "Two birds with one stone". I don't want anyone reporting me to the RSPB for bird cruelty, as I haven't been out hoying stones at birds.

No, I called this blog's title that because today's outing yielded more than one positive result. Firstly, I went out on my bike and am sure I covered around 24 miles. However, my Beeline Velo only recorded 5.9 miles, which I know is completely wrong, as I could tell by the map. Plus, I was exhausted and had only 15% battery left when I returned home.

Little cards I designed and had made up 

During the week, I had come up with a cunning and devious plan... "Muhahahahaa!". I had gone over to Instaprint and designed some business cards, well, not quite business cards, but you get the idea, the same shape and size. On one side, I put the front of my book design with a picture of little old me, and on the other, I just put where to find my book, my email and blog address. I figured that when I was out on my adventures, if I got chatting to anyone and if they appeared friendly and interested, I would mention my book and well promote it. So today I gave away a few cards, who knows, I may get a few sales and some much-needed reviews.

GOPro shots are pretty pants to be honest

The second positive was meeting some thoroughly nice people on my journey. Meeting nice folks kind of restores my faith in humanity. There is nothing quite like heading out for a ride and on the way having the opportunity to stop and chat to pleasant and friendly people. Today, I think I spoke to six people on the various trails I was on, I didn't get the names of the first couple who were out walking with their dog, or the second young lady, as I got lost; however, the next gentleman I discovered was named Digby, what an unusual and fantastic name. Digby was delightful and we chatted about the old railway lines in the area, plus ventured into putting the world to rights, touching on politics and political correctness and how the world has gone mad. I told him I pretty much take after my dad and call a spade a spade, not a shovel. We talked about the use of the words "hinne, flower and pet", all of which my dad still uses. I then chatted to two separate other gentlemen on the way up through the bank and going under the roads through these tunnels. I think it's part of the Bowes railway where I was venturing up. These other two men were Mark and then a little further on Brian, again, two lovely chaps. Following getting to Birtley and getting on to the C2C, then riding up to Stanley, I stopped in at  Young's opticians on the way home. The lasses at Young's have always been so supportive and helpful, so in passing, I thought I would drop a few of my book cards in to let them know what I had been up to. Upon my return home, I had a text message: "Lovely to see you today. Book is purchased. Need it signed for when you are a famous millionaire ". Like I say, a great bunch of girls.

On the Bowes Railway Line  overlooking the fields

Bowes Railway Track

Unfortunately, today my GoPro decided it didn't like the lighting conditions, so I didn't get many good pics. I would much rather shoot in photo mode; however, the timer is only 10 seconds, so it doesn't give me time to get on my bike. Time lapse mode is very hitty missy for exposure and quality, I find.

Weapon of choice my new Scott Lumen

Love this bike

Bit of urban art

Upon my route today, I discovered some new trails over at Hedley Hall Woods, so thinking I may use these to shoot a video. I know what I would like in my head, it's something completely different in my mind to what I normally do, but getting it caught and edited is the difficult bit.

Okay, feeling wiped out with a banging head once again, so I think I will have to hide under my duvet for a little bit in the dark. 

Catch you later.

Grabb'in a few pics whilst doing local loops.

Truth be known, I didn't feel like heading out on my bike this morning. I had a proper upset tummy, which coincided with the usual and the shits. This ulcerative colitis is really doing my head in. I don't think I can tolerate the mesalazine medication; it actually makes me feel worse, and I was supposed to be going for an urgent sigmoidoscopy, which I think is a waste of time, as I just had one in April. Obviously, I want to try and avoid yet another camera stuck up where the sun doesn't shine. It now appears as if I am just being left to my own devices, not on any treatment and just hoping and praying that the god awful symptoms start getting better.

Before I went out on my bike, I checked the weather forecast. I'm not sure if in the back of my mind I hoped it was due to rain, that way I would have even more of an excuse to just stay in. Then I thought to myself, "Glenn, just get yourself sorted, you'll feel better once you are out", and so that is what I did.

I had no real plans on where I was going and just decided to ride and see where it took me. Then I was off on my new Scott Lumen. The other day, when I was out, I was thinking, "I am sure this bike has three power settings". It only took me a few minutes to figure out that I had to hold the power button in just that bit longer to get the bike to have no assist, "Ahh that is why it had felt like the bike rolled real easy the other day", I had been riding around in eco mode, so had a little bit of assist.

Digging deep! Out for a ride on my new Bike

It is difficult trying to find motivation when things in your life aren't exactly going to plan, Don't get me wrong this isn't a blog about bleating on and "woe is me", no it's more about my self reflection and understanding the pitfalls and how to navigate things to avoid repeating mistakes I have made in the past.

So let me explain. I have spoken about taking ill around May of last year and having been diagnosed with ulcerative colitis. Well, this illness has really taken its toll on me due to its horrible symptoms, and this gets me to my point within this post. You see throughout my various long term health concerns, whenever I get down and then become isolated and unable to go out and do the regular things I like to do, for example my cycling, or camping, or just going for a walk in the country I then resort to the internet to fill in my time, and invetitabily start buying shit I don't really need. My savings take a hit, and when I say 'savings,' it's not like I'm minted. I can then go on to make big purchases, such as bikes, and end up in more debt. I think I buy stuff as my imagination creates these pictures of me doing stuff, which makes me feel good. I can see myself, for instance, riding a new bike, with new clothing, a new helmet, new shoes and new camping accessories. Maybe I should buy a new camera so that I can shoot new films. I think you get the picture. In reality, I can go out and buy all this stuff; however, it doesn't fix the root cause, and I am left feeling even more depressed.

Scott Lumen 900 TR from J's Cycles

It reminds me of a time when I was ill just after the tumour in my knee had been removed and I had that awful metal work inserted.  Because I couldn't do regular things and got bored, I would order all manner of things from the internet. T-shirts I would never wear, books I would never read, and computer games I didn't play, but to name a few. I would get my 30-second buzz when stuff arrived and I opened it, then put them away, before moving on to my next fix. I ended up getting into thousands of pounds worth of debt whilst not working, and had the potential via credit cards to get into around £50,000 of debt. I was very fortunate that I realised the error of my ways, got a consolidation loan, chopped up my credit cards and then over a 5-year period paid everything off. 

The thing that made me wake up and realise I was in trouble was my mam's voice, saying "Glenn, make sure you never bring bad debt to our door". Anyway, I have always been proud of the fact that I have managed my finances.

It's weird as I wasn't going to post about yesterday's outing, and then I thought "Ahh, why not". The thing is, when I sat down at my computer, the blog post I had intended to write turned into this self-reflection, which I have just shared, and I guess it's quite cathartic for me. I sometimes write as it helps me understand my own mind, it can be like a best friend talking sense to me, I have so much shit floating around in my head most of the time, the majority of which doesn't make sense.

Anyway, after having purchased a new bike around December of last year, my Santa Cruz Heckler, then figuring out I really liked the bike, but the range on it wasn't as far as I expected, I started looking at other bikes. My savings had taken a hit as I had helped my dad out with a new bathroom, and in my mind I thought "Fuck it, I might as well spend the rest". I know my thought process is mental. I then got my eye on a Scott Lumen. It was discounted at J's Cycle Shack, so I got in touch and ordered a size Large. What the fuck, I needed another bike for? I mean, I haven't exactly been riding much of late, but as explained earlier, my imagination kicked in and I had this vision of me riding all over the shop with a great big grin on my face and loving life as the wind blew through my hair, angelic music and birds singing in the backdrop. 

New bike in the Back of Ern's Mobile Skip

I had to wait around 2 months for my new bike to arrive. I took delivery on the 12th July, my dad and I driving down to Wakefield to pick it up. The bike then stood until yesterday, when I had my first ride out. 

Now, like I say, I wasn't even going to write a blog about yesterday's outing, I think it is because I considered it a bit of a fail, which is not true, now that I have thought about it. I think the top and bottom of it was that I was just completely knackered when I got in, sore and didn't feel particularly well. Which will lead me on to another part of my story in a little while. 

Anyhoo, now that I have had the time to reflect, I can see why I thought yesterday wasn't worth writing about, how today it was. First, the negatives I had intended to shoot a new video using my GoPro and take some photos. Well, I didn't get enough or the best footage, so on my return home, I couldn't make the video I wanted. Plus, I only took a few pics, so I thought, what is the point of blogging? My way of thinking is that no one reads my stuff; they probably just come here to look at pictures they have happened to come across by chance.

And now the positives and what made me write this post. Well, although I wasn't feeling great in the morning, I took Neville out for his morning walk, then got changed into my biking gear and headed out on my new bike. I attempted to do what makes me happy, and although I didn't ride as far as I would have liked and was thoroughly exhausted along with a migraine I had had for about a week. Well all in all I enjoyed myself, especially as on my journey, I met three lovely ladies. 

Scott Lumen on the Farmers Trail

The first was a wonderful lady over at Hedley Hall Woods, she was in a wheelchair and self-propelling herself up a rather steep hill. As I passed, I asked her,  "Do you need a hand?"  to which she replied, "No, thank you, I have got this". Huge respect, as I had to drop into a lower gear to climb the bank. I rode past her and then stopped and turned back and we began chatting. I went on to mention being a sporting ambassador for Arctic ONE and mentioned the grant system and what a fantastic organisation the foundation was. Going on to ask would she not prefer  a hand cycle, and the last commenting on another type of bike that has some sort of hand levers you pull on to  to get it to mobilise. After some time, we said our goodbyes, not before I had informed her about my book, "Lost2bFound" I mean, I have to try and get some sales somewhere. I was then off heading towards the Causey Arch. 

Pretty proud to have self-published this

I was in two minds whether to take the Causey Arch and Tanfield Railway route, as you see, I have experienced some rather irate people along there, who are like "Karens", and go on to get all worked up about people cycling along the trail. Anyway, I decided to go that way as I hate riding on the Causey Arch Road, and if  I used the pavement that turns along by the Causey Arch, well, if you think about it, that's no different to riding on the trail at Tanfield Railway as they are both classed as public footpaths.

Riding over the Causey Arch and approaching the section of trail where there are some wooden steps, two ladies were sitting on a bench with their dogs. I gave them a polite greeting and got an equally polite response in return. We then began having a lovely chat as I explained some folk didn't like cyclists coming this way, and they said they didn't mind, we agreed it was all about respect. The conversation continued on, and we spoke about the local history and the area, good places to visit for walks and shared some memories of days gone by. Yet another chance to plug my book when departing.

I was enjoying the ride on my new Scott; it felt comfortable, probably one of the best-fitting bikes I have owned. Considering this was my first ride out and I was just getting used to the bike, it felt planted beneath me. The Lumen has a TQ motor, which only offers 50 nm of torque, so it does require quite a bit of input from the rider. For XC riding, the suspension feels plush, and I don't know if it was just me, but the bike felt like it rolled well; you can't feel any drag from the motor. I was a little frustrated yesterday, and I think it was because I was tired. For some reason, I was having a nightmare clipping into my new Time ATAC pedals. I was so worn out, I was struggling to take hold of my G3 Infinity knee, bend it and then forcefully trying to clip in using my hand to guide the cleat to the pedal. So yesterday, there were many curses and loud sighs. 

I really like this Bike

Oh, and when I stopped off at Beamish near the stream, intending on getting a video shot of the water as it cascaded over some rocks, I slipped and almost fell into the water. I just couldn't keep my footing and ended up having to sit down, then crawl and clamber up the bankside. It's incredibly difficult trying to negotiate slippery terrain with a prosthetic limb that is in full extension, held in place with resisted tendons. I also ventured onto a trail I hadn't ridden in years and took. The wrong path, well, when I say path, I had to stop as there was no way through, the undergrowth was so thick and unridable. So it took me about 20 minutes to hike back the opposite way, and this proper fatigued me.

All in all, I can see that yesterday wasn't a waste of time, and although I didn't get the video footage or pictures I wanted, what does it matter, always be other days.

Oh, and you know I mentioned earlier, leading to another part of my story, well yeah, I got bored so ended up purchasing a steering wheel of all things for my wee Abarth 124 Spider. Now I really must stop...

I will post some images when the new steering wheel arrives and a bit of a write-up...

Thoughts that go through my head when I am out for a ride.

On the farmers trail

All in all, it has been a pretty good day today. Especially as my dad is now home from hospital. You see, about ten days ago, my dad wasn't well at all. He has had a terrible cough which has been going on for months, and over the weekend leading up to the 14th of April, two days before my fifty-seventh birthday, he looked and sounded dreadful. 

On the Sunday evening before I went to bed, I was really firm with my dad, saying, "Tomorrow you must make an appointment to see a Doctor". My dad promised he would. I was working part-time on Monday, and as I drove home, I got an unexpected phone call (Don't worry I have hands-free in my car). It was wor, Kyle, "Grandad has been admitted to  hospital, I am with him now, they are carrying out tests", he went on to say. "Okay, I am coming straight through", I replied.

Upon getting to the University Hospital of North Durham and not being able to find a parking space, let alone a disabled space, I became more and more stressed and irate. Muttering to myself "I fucking hate this hospital, it's so stupid, not fit for purpose" along with a string of other tirades. You know where I ended up having to park? Fucking Greggs over at Framwellgate Moor. In fact, I parked there two days running, asking permission from the friendly staff and buying half the shop as I felt guilty.

Before I move on, I may as well stop on the parking front. One day, whilst I had entered the carpark and drove around to see if there was an available disabled spot, I saw that this lady was pulling out. I pulled just past her with the intention of then reversing in. Guess what? This fat useless fucker nipped in just as the lady pulled out. I was fuming, so I reversed back, beeped my horn as I wound my window down and said to the driver, "Did you not see I had asked the lady if she was coming out? What do you think I was parked there with my indicator on for? To which this rather obese bald bloke angrily got out of his car and said "What do you fucking think I have been waiting around there for?'. There was a quick back and forth of words, some of which I don't think I should write down here, but put it this way, one of them rhymed with "Hunt". I then had to drive back around and, fortunately, found a spot in the paid car park. Isn't it funny how you can think of a hundred more things to say that would be a lot more entertaining once you are away from a situation? For example, I may have said " You fat fuck the walk would do you good", or " Keep your hair on". I couldn't believe it when one of the fat bloke's retorts was "Errrr you old git", I mean, how did he know I was about to turn 57?

Apart from the parking, the staff over at Durham were fantastic with my dad, and by all accounts, they didn't want him to leave as he was a "star patient". So following a diagnosis of pneumonia and being on steroids, antibiotics and a fair amount of oxygen, I am pleased to say I picked my dad up for his release on Wednesday, so that is ten days he had been in. Thank God he is home and on the mend because I hate going food shopping with a passion. I may only have one leg, but I go around like the Tasmanian Devil, just chucking stuff in me basket in a "Get me out of here" fashion.

This morning, around 08:00, I thought I would pamper my dear old dad, so I made him a sausage and bacon sandwich, with a nice hot cup of coffee and brought it up to his bedroom. The pair of us then just chilled, in fact, I had a bit tinker on with the book I was writing, and then it was time for me to go and get my haircut. My dad kindly offered to take me, so I took him up on this. Man, my hair is going grey, yes, I know it is partly due to my age, however, these steroids I have been on and off since last year have played havoc with my follicles. My hair has been dropping out, and even my eyebrows are now almost all white. I feel proper old when I look in the mirror, and yet my mental age well, that is still somewhere in I would say early twenties. I guess I could dye my bits n bobs, it may make me feel better; however, then I ask myself, am I really that vain?

Coming out of the hairdresser's and having left my phone in dad's car, when I checked it, I saw that there was a new post on Facebook, written by my dad. Upon reading it, I had to swallow back the tears, as my dear old Pops had written some very kind words. Call me a big softie, I don't mind. I readily admit I can be a sensitive soul, part of which is due to certain traumatic experiences throughout life that I will always carry with me.

Upon arriving back home, I rushed to get in and have a shower. I hate the feeling when I have just had my hair cut and all the prickly little hairs are on my clothing, like around my neck, irritating me, "Ahhh, that's better".

Straight out of the shower, a quick dry, some gel in my hair, and I got to look my best as I intended, going out on my bike to attempt to get a picture to pop on the front of my aforementioned book. It didn't take me long at all to get ready, quite an achievement for me, as usually I am always searching for some specific article of mountain bike clothing or equipment.

Happy to be out

Off on my Santa Cruz Heckler,  I headed, going so far up the farmer's trail, before stopping for a photo opportunity. I have written about the farmer's trail

extensively in my book, so I thought it might make for an interesting image. I had this idea of a picture which was taken from one I had seen Sean Connery as James Bond, standing next to his Aston Martin DB5. It was shot in black & white, and I thought a similar picture would look jolly good on the front cover of my book. I mean, I am neither Sean Connery nor James Bond, but hey, people could see I rode a bike and had a unique sporting prosthetic.

Think I like this B&W for the front cover of  my book

Setting off again up the farmer's trail, I met a friendly man walking his dog, and we began having a chat about nothing in particular. We spoke for some time as we went from the back end of East Stanley all the way down into No Place, then we said our goodbyes, and I headed off down towards Beamish. Reaching Beamish, I cut down onto the C2C, passing the JCB cows and headed all the way up past Stanley and went along to Annfield Plain. I then cut in at the Morrison through the gates and fences near the power station. Gutted here as I clicked my brand new Endura jersey on some damn thorn bushes as I tried to squeeze between them and the gate post. Man, it was really, really overgrown in this area, more so than I have ever seen it, with all the whiny bushes out in bloom with yellow flowers and those dagger-like thorns.

Santa Cruz Heckler SL CC

Had to come past all the whiny bushes

Riding onto Chapman Wells where the foot and mouth cows were buried, I took a detour through another one of those large swivel-like gates, reaching my bike over the barbed wire fence. I then set up my GoPro, which seemed to take ages, to try and capture some "On the bike Shots", as I passed my camera. Total fail, I realised upon looking at the footage when I got home. All I had was about 12 images of a large tree, no Glenn or his bike insight - delete.

Over by the pond at Chapman Wells

Picturesque

I did manage to get some more shots over by the pond at Champpman Wells. On the approach to the pond at Quakies, my nose was running as it had been from the start, and me coughing, with a sense of my chest and lungs burning from this chest infection, plus with being so unfit. I suddenly became aware of an awful smell of dog shit. I stopped inspected my bike, and did that cursory thing where you try to look around at your back, just in case some of the mucky stuff had splashed up, but I couldn't see any. I rode a little further, but the smell was still there. Now I know I have been bad with my guts, but I was sure I hadn't shat myself. Never mind, by the time I reached the pond and then set off again, the smell had gone, maybe it was on one of my tyres, and the dusty trail had removed it.

Riding around, and it had been some time since my overactive imagination began whirring and words started popping into my head, somewhat like a poem of today's adventure. I have tried to recall what I was thinking and then wrote this.

  Just a little adventure

An Endless supply of drugs for an unknown disease. A string of antibiotics for a chesty wheeze.

A trip to the barbers to get my head sharpened in the same old style. It's now all old and grey, just like a vintage car its seen a fair few miles.

A ride out on my bike to clear my mind.Venturing around the same old loops searching for something new to find.

A dripping, snotty nose, wiped upon my sleeve. There goes that sodding cough again, that sounds more like a bark.

I then notice this smell that has been hanging around for at least the last half mile. I stop and check for dog shit to see if it's on my arse tyre or possiblyeven my shoe.

No horrible brown mucky fudge, but I curse nonetheless. Why do people just leave dog crap dotted around, it's even hanging in those little bags in trees.

I jump back aboard my steed and continue upon my ride. Until I come to a large pond and go to investigate and take a good few interesting snaps.

I love to be out in nature, to just relax and empty my mind. My reverie is broken, though, by the sound of some honking geese who land with an almighty splash.

Time to start off once again, I'm so pleased my ankle is holding up. It's now time for a climb up the farmer's trail, where once there was a bath.

Now at the top and heading along to Wagtail Lane, where the windmills are turning so slow. I love to hear their swooshing sound, and see the shadows of their blades.

It's now not too far from home, and a choice I have to make. Cut down by South Moor Golf Course or go the long way around.

Oh, and before I move on, I must say a huge thank you to my good, in fact, no, great mate Lee for his help in sorting out my cleats on my shoes and helping me to get in a much more comfortable position when riding my bike. Today, I didn't suffer from Achilles pain when out on the trails. I can feel a slight twinge now that I am sitting down typing this, however, it's nothing like the pain I experienced way back in December of last year when I did something to my ankle and heel.  So Lee, if you are reading this, thanks, and I will be out for a few rides with you hopefully soon.

Once at home, a quick change, and it was almost time for my weekly guitar lesson with my tutor, Tom. Tonight's session, man, I just couldn't get my head around. Sometimes I really, really do think I am as thick as two short planks. The simplest of things, and don't get me wrong, music and music theory are anything but simple, especially when you are trying to learn later in life, but at times things just go "Pheww" straight over my head, no matter how hard I concentrate or try. I am still enjoying trying, so, not about to quit. In fact, I am pretty proud that I can play along to some of my favourite songs using this app I have on my phone, called Chord AI.    

 

Once Tom had left, I began sorting out the photographs  I had taken, editing them and even placing text on the picture I had chosen to be my front cover. As for my book, I entrusted it to some friends & colleagues from work, so that they could have a read-through and help with any grammar, and punctuation and also offer feedback as to whether it is naff, interesting, or if it gets you hooked so that you want to delve deeper into my journey. So far, I have received some pretty positive feedback, and my cousin David has been an absolute superstar in practically editing, proofreading and offering advice. So a huge thank you to wor David, Sam, Jennifer, Krista,  Laura, wor Kyles's girlfriend, who both my dad and I have yet to meet, and who I haven't heard any feedback from as yet...Maybe she has read the book and now knows what a complete madman I am. Oh, and of course, The Ern, who helped me recall stories and also had the odd chuckle, so I knew I was going in the right direction.

Thank you, one and all.

Anyhoo, here is the final front cover image I have decided to go with. I also hopefully can include an inside cover that has some meaning that people will understand once the book is published. The book is 81,848 words long with 23 chapters, and I will let everyone know its pricing in the three formats I intend to have it come out in, so ebook, paperback and hardback. I wanted the hardback version as well, it will be like a sort of keepsake. Once published, I suppose I could add an author to my limited list of talents.

Lost2bFound - Glenn Johnstone

Okay, bye-bye for now.