Very random, I'm very weird, the things that go on inside my heed.

If you have been reading any of my posts, you will know I have decided to write another book, and I have to say I am having such fun.

Antique c.1870 Baume Geneve 935 Silver Full Hunter Pocket Watch & Key

I think my dad, on the other hand, is a bit fed up with me wittering on about my ideas, and constantly saying "Oh, Ern, I've written another bit, have a read, go on, see what you think."

I'm pretty sure deep down my dad is actually enjoying my story, as the other day, after reading the last chapter I had penned, he said, "Aye, that's canny, mek's yet want to see what happens next."

At that point, I thought, well, I must be doing something right, as that is what you want all readers to be like. You know that book you can't wait to pick up, and are not too happy when you have to put it down..

Anyhoo, I have a title, but I don't know if I can use it, as it has a somewhat sweaty connotation of a word. I'll keep it to myself for now, of course, don't want anyone nicking my ideas.

The main character in my book, well, he's an ordinary hard-working bloke, with a north-east accent, no airs or graces. He is quite an introverted bloke, with not many friends. Sound like anyone you know?

In the story, he has a few sentimental items: an old, dark guitar and a silver half hunter pocket watch. This is where the title of this post comes in...

You see, for some unknown reason, I started browsing the interwebs for 'Antique pocket watches.'

Now, do I need an antique pocket watch? Of course, I don't. But once Glenn gets something in his head, well, that's it.

I am now awaiting delivery of an antique pocket watch.

 

Antique c.1870 Baume Geneve 935 Silver Full Hunter Pocket Watch & Key

I think the last time I had a watch was when I was a kid. Most of you won't be able to remember 'Busby.' He was a bluebird and was in  BT's television adverts. The watch was a blue-strapped digital thing. You see, it took me ages to learn how to tell the time on a regular watch.

Being honest, I still get mixed up about whether noon is a.m. or p.m.

Antique c.1870 Baume Geneve 935 Silver Full Hunter Pocket Watch & Key

Once I get my old pocket watch, I will have to find an antique Albert chain. I don't suppose I will wear the watch with a waistcoat, but I do want to keep it fastened somewhere, don't want to lose it like I did with my gratitude Pebble.

I've now just come up with another addition, so I've been researching. Once I discover a suitable chain, I am going to have a silver pendant made. My surname and the Johnstone clan, whose motto is "Nunquam NinParatus," which translates as "Never Unprepared." Not quite me, but hey, we can't all be perfect...

Clan Johnstone - Yay, go the Johnstones

Okay, bye for now...

Feel free to comment...

“The Story of a Book That Doesn’t Even Exist Yet… Kind Of”

“The Story of a Book That Doesn’t Exist… Kind Of”

Just playing around with ideas using Gemini AI designer, 

How can a story exist, other than in your mind, if it hasn't yet been written or in my case, exists entirely in my head? Yes, it's a bit of a screwed-up paradoxical question.   

I have an initial idea. Sure, it's been done before, but hey, what story hasn't been told these days? I mean, that is why there are so many reruns of old shows, and new films are just reinventions of previous ones. It's obvious we are all out of ideas. 

My story is going to be a fictional tale. Now wait for it, there is a lot to describe. It's going to be Dark, yet humorous.  The main protagonist is a Geordie, so he will speak as such, which might make the book difficult to read for some. There will be darkness, loss, growth, good versus evil, and many funny anecdotes and amusing stories, which I have somewhat in the back of my mind.     

Another AI-created idea

I am finding that as I write,  I am up to chapter 9 so far, with just over 20,000 words, that my creative juices flow as I am thinking and typing. As I mentioned earlier, I have no clear, solid story. I just get fleeting thoughts that pop into my head, mainly when I am struggling to sleep on a night.

And one more

It's weird, I wrote two different pieces for the book over the last couple of nights, thinking "Hey, you know what my main character, (who my dad, The Ern, says ", Aye, I can see he's based on you," ) decided he would write poetry and songs in the mental state he is currently in, which is a bit of turmoil, alongside melancholy, stress and sadness."

It's strange trying to imagine what someone is going through, even when it's a pretend character in a book, then trying to write how you think they may feel and. think.

Hopefully, I can make the story interesting and get another book on the shelves. At this point, it's not even about "Ooh, I wonder how many I can sell," it's more just about me enjoying the process and seeing where this takes me. I cannot imagine becoming a world-renowned author; this is more a bit of fun, keeps me occupied and helps me relax.

Obviously, if I ever finish it and receive some good feedback,  that would be a bonus.

Anyhoo, I don't want to give too much away. At the moment, you will just have to wait. I don't want anyone nicking my ideas LoL

I will leave you with a poem and a song that I intend to add to my book, so please note that the copyright belongs to Glenn Johnstone. They may not make complete sense, as obviously, you don't know the whole backstory of the characters involved. "Oh, and poetry doesn't have to rhyme."

Horology’s Parallel

From father to son, time passed on,
a friendly face, and a special place
within your hand, within your heart;
each memory held within a protective case,
that will one day cease—
as silence falls.

Each mark and scratch make you unique, perfect, imperfections.
As you carry on with the time you keep.
Until that day you’re wound no more, and your movement slows, and you stop.

Discovered truth — and now it all makes sense:
Why your cogs and wheels struggle with the time you keep.

That old voice you once knew begins to fade,
its whispers growing silent,
drifting beyond the shadows—far, far away.

Your movements are slowing —
your hands, fitful, like a heart struggling to beat.
You feel old and weary;
you just want to find sleep.

Memories of happier times slip away —
moments slowly lost, day by day;
you struggle to keep,
as the lid that once protected you is forever shut.

Where once you shone — polished, all shiny and bright —
now you are dulled, living beneath a dark cloud;
there is no light.

A thick fog of despair shrouds your view;
and those who care about you understand —
it’s too late: someone has decided this is your fate.

Your mind — those numbers — feel as if they’re slipping away,
tumbling and falling, unable to hold on.
You’re filled with confusion and sadness;
even time becomes disarrayed.

Where once there was rhythm in each gentle sound,
now you move slowly —
a denial of the inevitable —
knowing the end comes, and you are lost and bound.

You ask: Is there no one to help?
Can you not be wound and opened, fixed or repaired?

You just need someone to breathe new life into you,
and remind you of the life you once knew.

The song is in the style of an old Pitt village community, well, how I see it, or like a sea shanty rhythm, but obviously sad.    

A Geordie’s Heart (It’ll Never Die)

Well, a’ve been told that me time is up,
A divvn't have lang, an’ a’ve gotta gan.
A’m not quite ready, but what can a dee?
It’s nee good argyin’ wi’ yer destiny.

Me heed’s been sore noo for a while,
N’ an’knare, it’s not from the broon.
It’s not feelin’ like it’s even me awn,
A canna mek sense o’ what’s gannin’ on —

[Chorus]
An’ a won’t be standin’ on the banks o’ the Tyne,
’Cos the boatman’s waitin’ te tek us ower the Styx.
A’ll pay me way, an’ a’ll give ’im me coin,
Then he’ll push off, an’ we’ll sail away.

N’ a’m feelin’ lost… an’ a’m all a’lan.
Nee lass to kiss, nee hand to hold.
A thought a had all the time in the world,
But noo a’ve fond out me life’s unfurled.

So divvn't wait, ’cos a’m not comin’ yem,
A’m gone for good — a’ve served me time.
Mebbe it’s for the best, as me life’s been rough,
A tried me best — a hope it was enough.

An’ a’m thinkin’ te mesel’, was it all just a test?
When a lived me life, an’ a tried me best.
A’ve lost me love — it’s been stole away,
Nee mair chances, nee mair days.

[Final Verse]
So all a’ll ask yer te think on me,
As ye raise yer glass an’ sing oot loud.
For this bonny lad’s not gone te hell,
’Cos a Geordie’s heart — it’ll never die.

(Whispered Outro)
So a’ll be off on the River Styx…
Te meet the devil an’ avoid his tricks…
An’ noo, a’ve gotta gan, like

I have posted a few images, so perhaps they will give you a little room for thought.

Ok toodle pip for now...

Eighteen Years Later - Word of Warning Contains Graphic Images

It has been eighteen years to the day since I had my right leg amputated.

Kotz Prosthesis

Kotz Prosthesis

September 11th will no doubt bring back memories for lots of other people for a very different reason,  that being the Terrorist attacks in New York on the World Trade Centre and the Twin Towers 11/09/2021

For me, 2007 was to be the beginning of a whole new chapter in my life. Having been diagnosed with a giant cell tumour in my right tibia, this was around the May of 1995. The tumour emerged about a month after I witnessed a horrific murder just down from my parents' house.

WORD OF WARNING CONTAINS GRAPHIC IMAGES

Two birds with one stone

I am sure you know what I mean when I use the phrase "Two birds with one stone". I don't want anyone reporting me to the RSPB for bird cruelty, as I haven't been out hoying stones at birds.

No, I called this blog's title that because today's outing yielded more than one positive result. Firstly, I went out on my bike and am sure I covered around 24 miles. However, my Beeline Velo only recorded 5.9 miles, which I know is completely wrong, as I could tell by the map. Plus, I was exhausted and had only 15% battery left when I returned home.

Little cards I designed and had made up 

During the week, I had come up with a cunning and devious plan... "Muhahahahaa!". I had gone over to Instaprint and designed some business cards, well, not quite business cards, but you get the idea, the same shape and size. On one side, I put the front of my book design with a picture of little old me, and on the other, I just put where to find my book, my email and blog address. I figured that when I was out on my adventures, if I got chatting to anyone and if they appeared friendly and interested, I would mention my book and well promote it. So today I gave away a few cards, who knows, I may get a few sales and some much-needed reviews.

GOPro shots are pretty pants to be honest

The second positive was meeting some thoroughly nice people on my journey. Meeting nice folks kind of restores my faith in humanity. There is nothing quite like heading out for a ride and on the way having the opportunity to stop and chat to pleasant and friendly people. Today, I think I spoke to six people on the various trails I was on, I didn't get the names of the first couple who were out walking with their dog, or the second young lady, as I got lost; however, the next gentleman I discovered was named Digby, what an unusual and fantastic name. Digby was delightful and we chatted about the old railway lines in the area, plus ventured into putting the world to rights, touching on politics and political correctness and how the world has gone mad. I told him I pretty much take after my dad and call a spade a spade, not a shovel. We talked about the use of the words "hinne, flower and pet", all of which my dad still uses. I then chatted to two separate other gentlemen on the way up through the bank and going under the roads through these tunnels. I think it's part of the Bowes railway where I was venturing up. These other two men were Mark and then a little further on Brian, again, two lovely chaps. Following getting to Birtley and getting on to the C2C, then riding up to Stanley, I stopped in at  Young's opticians on the way home. The lasses at Young's have always been so supportive and helpful, so in passing, I thought I would drop a few of my book cards in to let them know what I had been up to. Upon my return home, I had a text message: "Lovely to see you today. Book is purchased. Need it signed for when you are a famous millionaire ". Like I say, a great bunch of girls.

On the Bowes Railway Line  overlooking the fields

Bowes Railway Track

Unfortunately, today my GoPro decided it didn't like the lighting conditions, so I didn't get many good pics. I would much rather shoot in photo mode; however, the timer is only 10 seconds, so it doesn't give me time to get on my bike. Time lapse mode is very hitty missy for exposure and quality, I find.

Weapon of choice my new Scott Lumen

Love this bike

Bit of urban art

Upon my route today, I discovered some new trails over at Hedley Hall Woods, so thinking I may use these to shoot a video. I know what I would like in my head, it's something completely different in my mind to what I normally do, but getting it caught and edited is the difficult bit.

Okay, feeling wiped out with a banging head once again, so I think I will have to hide under my duvet for a little bit in the dark. 

Catch you later.

A little bit of a rant! Which I am sure you will be onboard with me about.

Okay, so this blog post is going to be a bit of a rant concerning just a few things that have happened that I am sure each and every one will agree with me about. Of course, if you know me, you will also understand I tend to go off on tangents, so the post also contains a link to a video I wasn't going to post, as I didn't think I had enough footage to make it interesting. Well, maybe I still haven't, but fuck it cobbled it together and uploaded it to YouTube anyhoo.

So, to what has pissed me off, well, it's basically society in a whole, but mainly how corporations and companies, businesses and whatnot are all out to rip us off.

Some weeks ago, I got a message from my insurance provider saying words to the effect of "Dear Mr Johnstone, would you like to get a guaranteed future value on your motor vehicle?". The car in question is Grandma, my limited edition VW Beetle GSR. Grandma is on a 63 plate, so 12 years old. She is not classed as a classic, as not old enough; however, she is a very rare car as there were only 30 ever brought into the UK in this model and colour. Not only that, she has lots of top-end mods, so when I insured her, I put a valuation of £20,000 on her. Now I know a lot of people may think that is a bonkers price, but I just saw a Yellow & Black GSR for sale on Piston Heads with a lower spec and not as many mods, and it was up for £18,995.

Anyhoo, I had posted on Facebook about this valuation and one of my friends contacted me saying before I went ahead with paying the extra £52 to get the valuation, if I sent him the details of my car, so the registration and. mileage, he could get the true value that the insurance company would use. You see, he works for a company that all the insurance companies use for guide prices.

So this is what I got back from my mate. Sorry, the image isn't great.

So, as you can see, the top book is probably just over £10,000. So my point here is why the hell would I pay an extra £52 just to be told that my car is only valued at the rate the insurance company value it at in the first place. This has been nowhere near what it would actually cost to replace it in the event of an accident. Insurance companies are only too happy to quote us extortionate amounts for us to insure our vehicles, yet when we come to claim, we would be lucky to be able to go out and purchase a like-for-like example.

I think a good idea from a customer's point of view, where insurance is concerned, and it could easily be introduced, is that, say, your insurance was £1000  per year. If, after that year, you had no claims, you were reimbursed half the amount of your insurance. I mean, the insurance companies would still get interest on the money you paid them.

Anyhoo, this gets me onto my next whinge. So a few months back, I paid for an updated version of Wondershare Filmora. A piece of software so that I could edit my GoPro footage. Now I thought, in fact, I am sure I had a paid-up version of the software, version 13 or something. Yet when I went on to make a film, I was told ~I had to update to version 14. So I did this and paid once again for the latest version. Now, in making this latest video, the one I wasn't going to make Lol well, I got all the way through the editing and went to produce it, only to be told "You have used transition assets in your production", or words to that effect. I thought "WTF", I've just been on ages complaining this and now this dumb software wants to charge me more money to produce the final edition. Not only would it not allow me to just pay a one-off fee, oh no, it wanted me to fucking subscribe to a monthly payment. I hate shit like that. I mean, if you subscribe to everything that comes along nowadays, it's like signing your pay cheque away.

I had to go back and remove all the paid content out of my video, and fudged together something which is probably pretty naff, not much riding scenes in it, but it does have some pretty places I visited the other day. 

Ok rant over, here's the video. Oh, and whilst you are here, if you haven't already, why not go and grab yourself a copy of my book "Lost2bFound"? You can find it on Amazon or in other good bookshops.

Digging deep! Out for a ride on my new Bike

It is difficult trying to find motivation when things in your life aren't exactly going to plan, Don't get me wrong this isn't a blog about bleating on and "woe is me", no it's more about my self reflection and understanding the pitfalls and how to navigate things to avoid repeating mistakes I have made in the past.

So let me explain. I have spoken about taking ill around May of last year and having been diagnosed with ulcerative colitis. Well, this illness has really taken its toll on me due to its horrible symptoms, and this gets me to my point within this post. You see throughout my various long term health concerns, whenever I get down and then become isolated and unable to go out and do the regular things I like to do, for example my cycling, or camping, or just going for a walk in the country I then resort to the internet to fill in my time, and invetitabily start buying shit I don't really need. My savings take a hit, and when I say 'savings,' it's not like I'm minted. I can then go on to make big purchases, such as bikes, and end up in more debt. I think I buy stuff as my imagination creates these pictures of me doing stuff, which makes me feel good. I can see myself, for instance, riding a new bike, with new clothing, a new helmet, new shoes and new camping accessories. Maybe I should buy a new camera so that I can shoot new films. I think you get the picture. In reality, I can go out and buy all this stuff; however, it doesn't fix the root cause, and I am left feeling even more depressed.

Scott Lumen 900 TR from J's Cycles

It reminds me of a time when I was ill just after the tumour in my knee had been removed and I had that awful metal work inserted.  Because I couldn't do regular things and got bored, I would order all manner of things from the internet. T-shirts I would never wear, books I would never read, and computer games I didn't play, but to name a few. I would get my 30-second buzz when stuff arrived and I opened it, then put them away, before moving on to my next fix. I ended up getting into thousands of pounds worth of debt whilst not working, and had the potential via credit cards to get into around £50,000 of debt. I was very fortunate that I realised the error of my ways, got a consolidation loan, chopped up my credit cards and then over a 5-year period paid everything off. 

The thing that made me wake up and realise I was in trouble was my mam's voice, saying "Glenn, make sure you never bring bad debt to our door". Anyway, I have always been proud of the fact that I have managed my finances.

It's weird as I wasn't going to post about yesterday's outing, and then I thought "Ahh, why not". The thing is, when I sat down at my computer, the blog post I had intended to write turned into this self-reflection, which I have just shared, and I guess it's quite cathartic for me. I sometimes write as it helps me understand my own mind, it can be like a best friend talking sense to me, I have so much shit floating around in my head most of the time, the majority of which doesn't make sense.

Anyway, after having purchased a new bike around December of last year, my Santa Cruz Heckler, then figuring out I really liked the bike, but the range on it wasn't as far as I expected, I started looking at other bikes. My savings had taken a hit as I had helped my dad out with a new bathroom, and in my mind I thought "Fuck it, I might as well spend the rest". I know my thought process is mental. I then got my eye on a Scott Lumen. It was discounted at J's Cycle Shack, so I got in touch and ordered a size Large. What the fuck, I needed another bike for? I mean, I haven't exactly been riding much of late, but as explained earlier, my imagination kicked in and I had this vision of me riding all over the shop with a great big grin on my face and loving life as the wind blew through my hair, angelic music and birds singing in the backdrop. 

New bike in the Back of Ern's Mobile Skip

I had to wait around 2 months for my new bike to arrive. I took delivery on the 12th July, my dad and I driving down to Wakefield to pick it up. The bike then stood until yesterday, when I had my first ride out. 

Now, like I say, I wasn't even going to write a blog about yesterday's outing, I think it is because I considered it a bit of a fail, which is not true, now that I have thought about it. I think the top and bottom of it was that I was just completely knackered when I got in, sore and didn't feel particularly well. Which will lead me on to another part of my story in a little while. 

Anyhoo, now that I have had the time to reflect, I can see why I thought yesterday wasn't worth writing about, how today it was. First, the negatives I had intended to shoot a new video using my GoPro and take some photos. Well, I didn't get enough or the best footage, so on my return home, I couldn't make the video I wanted. Plus, I only took a few pics, so I thought, what is the point of blogging? My way of thinking is that no one reads my stuff; they probably just come here to look at pictures they have happened to come across by chance.

And now the positives and what made me write this post. Well, although I wasn't feeling great in the morning, I took Neville out for his morning walk, then got changed into my biking gear and headed out on my new bike. I attempted to do what makes me happy, and although I didn't ride as far as I would have liked and was thoroughly exhausted along with a migraine I had had for about a week. Well all in all I enjoyed myself, especially as on my journey, I met three lovely ladies. 

Scott Lumen on the Farmers Trail

The first was a wonderful lady over at Hedley Hall Woods, she was in a wheelchair and self-propelling herself up a rather steep hill. As I passed, I asked her,  "Do you need a hand?"  to which she replied, "No, thank you, I have got this". Huge respect, as I had to drop into a lower gear to climb the bank. I rode past her and then stopped and turned back and we began chatting. I went on to mention being a sporting ambassador for Arctic ONE and mentioned the grant system and what a fantastic organisation the foundation was. Going on to ask would she not prefer  a hand cycle, and the last commenting on another type of bike that has some sort of hand levers you pull on to  to get it to mobilise. After some time, we said our goodbyes, not before I had informed her about my book, "Lost2bFound" I mean, I have to try and get some sales somewhere. I was then off heading towards the Causey Arch. 

Pretty proud to have self-published this

I was in two minds whether to take the Causey Arch and Tanfield Railway route, as you see, I have experienced some rather irate people along there, who are like "Karens", and go on to get all worked up about people cycling along the trail. Anyway, I decided to go that way as I hate riding on the Causey Arch Road, and if  I used the pavement that turns along by the Causey Arch, well, if you think about it, that's no different to riding on the trail at Tanfield Railway as they are both classed as public footpaths.

Riding over the Causey Arch and approaching the section of trail where there are some wooden steps, two ladies were sitting on a bench with their dogs. I gave them a polite greeting and got an equally polite response in return. We then began having a lovely chat as I explained some folk didn't like cyclists coming this way, and they said they didn't mind, we agreed it was all about respect. The conversation continued on, and we spoke about the local history and the area, good places to visit for walks and shared some memories of days gone by. Yet another chance to plug my book when departing.

I was enjoying the ride on my new Scott; it felt comfortable, probably one of the best-fitting bikes I have owned. Considering this was my first ride out and I was just getting used to the bike, it felt planted beneath me. The Lumen has a TQ motor, which only offers 50 nm of torque, so it does require quite a bit of input from the rider. For XC riding, the suspension feels plush, and I don't know if it was just me, but the bike felt like it rolled well; you can't feel any drag from the motor. I was a little frustrated yesterday, and I think it was because I was tired. For some reason, I was having a nightmare clipping into my new Time ATAC pedals. I was so worn out, I was struggling to take hold of my G3 Infinity knee, bend it and then forcefully trying to clip in using my hand to guide the cleat to the pedal. So yesterday, there were many curses and loud sighs. 

I really like this Bike

Oh, and when I stopped off at Beamish near the stream, intending on getting a video shot of the water as it cascaded over some rocks, I slipped and almost fell into the water. I just couldn't keep my footing and ended up having to sit down, then crawl and clamber up the bankside. It's incredibly difficult trying to negotiate slippery terrain with a prosthetic limb that is in full extension, held in place with resisted tendons. I also ventured onto a trail I hadn't ridden in years and took. The wrong path, well, when I say path, I had to stop as there was no way through, the undergrowth was so thick and unridable. So it took me about 20 minutes to hike back the opposite way, and this proper fatigued me.

All in all, I can see that yesterday wasn't a waste of time, and although I didn't get the video footage or pictures I wanted, what does it matter, always be other days.

Oh, and you know I mentioned earlier, leading to another part of my story, well yeah, I got bored so ended up purchasing a steering wheel of all things for my wee Abarth 124 Spider. Now I really must stop...

I will post some images when the new steering wheel arrives and a bit of a write-up...