Riding through the pain

  I wasn't sure if I was going to manage a ride out today, you see for some strange reason I have been getting the most excruciating phantom pain. Usually I can deal with it. Yeah it makes me tetchy,grumpy, short tempered and snappy at times, however it always seems to pass in a few hours and I'm back to my usual self. Well not today, or should that be yesterday as I'm writing my blog at 01:25 in the morning as yes I still have dam phantom pain. The bloody thing just won't go away.

Anyhoo seeing as I was in pain I thought to myself this morning "I may as well go out on my bike and be in pain,rather than sit in all day grasping my stump, doing nowt and still be in pain"

So gathered all my gear, got the new bike out and headed for local trails. It was a bit colder than I thought this morning, "good job I brought that extra top" I thought. And so I headed down towards Beamish. As I approached the farm I got my eyes on a sign and thought I'd take a picture. It made me think of my friend Bruce who lives up in North Berwick and has been having problems of late with people bothering him at stupid o'clock when he has to be up early in the morning for his job. So this ones for you Bruce hope your feeling a lot less stressed mate and folk are giving you a bit of privacy.

 

WoW this Phantom Pain SUCKS!!!

     Ok so after working a long shift on Friday ( I owed some hours, due to taking time off going back and forth to the limb centre) I came home,did the usual had something to eat answered a few mails and messed around on my pc. I was quite looking forward to the weekend as it was supposed to be going to be quite warm and I had plans to head off early'ish in the morning to take some photo's, get some video footage and of course ride my new bike a little more.

Most Friday evenings I like to head off to visit my good friends Adrian and Amanda and their 3 lads. We generally chat about what's gone on during the week, have a whinge and a moan now and again as well as a good old laugh and basically try to set the world to rights. Amanda always looks after me providing me with endless cups of tea and biscuits and I enjoy their company for a good few hours.

Well Friday evening everything was fine, that was until around 10:30. I started getting the early warning signs that I was going to start having phantom pain. First thing is generally the "cattle prod" sensation. I know it may sound funny, however believe me it's not. After I had been "zapped" roughly 5 times in 10 minutes I knew I was going to be in for a long night. I said my goodbyes to Ade and Amanda and the lads and got in the car and drove home.

As soon as I got in the house I took my meds. I'm on a low dose of Pregablin I hate taking tablets, they kind of scare me as it's so easy to get hooked. I've had quite a few bad experiences with prescription drugs hence my apprehension. Believe it or not I blame Gabapentin for sending me slightly nuts and causing me severe depression when I tried and eventually came off it. Wow had a bad few months, just couldn't figure out what was wrong. I guess when you look at meds like Gaba and Pregablin they are made to have an effect on your brain, so really it's no wonder they can screw you up.

Anyhoo I was feeling quite tired so in between electric shocks I headed off to get washed, brush my teeth and get ready for bed. By now I was getting the usual phantom pain I have had before. I can only describe it as if my foot, (Yes the one that isn't there) has been left in a bucket of ice, like a numb, prickly sensation. If you think back to when you were a kid and you used to play out in the snow until you were soooo cold. Then when you came in and started to warm up it hurt like hell. Well that's something like the pain. That and of course my foot also feeling like it was being crushed. The pain was now up to my ankle. I could feel the shape of my foot and the ankle joint.

 I was now in bed and just thinking "go to sleep, go to sleep". The pain was increasing now, what the hell. It was very weird I could practically count when I was going to get a wave of pain and when I say wave that's the best way I can describe it. It started off as an uncomfortable pain in the bottom of my stump, however increased like a gathering wave, gaining momentum, before coming crashing down and then fading. When these waves struck it made me go ridged and tense up my stump and it was so bad I was growling out as well as using a few choice words like "oh dear", "Gosh that hurt" and oh yeah "AGGGGHHHH you Fecking Basket".

I was up and down all night and when I did manage to fall asleep for an hour or so I was awoken by the same sickly wave of pain and sat bolt upright in bed, Jeez it fairly gives you a fright. One minute your a sleep the next it looks like you have an enormous stiffy on as your stump is at 90 degrees pointing up to the ceiling under the duvet.

"This is driving me insane" I thought so I got up yet again and headed downstairs for a drink and more meds. A few more waves and "aww crap" I had woken my poor dad up I was making so much noise. He came down all worried as he thought I'd hurt myself, like falling over or something. There was nowt he could do so I just told him to go back to bed.

I tried again to get to sleep, but every time I was just drifting off  Bang!!! a sickly wave of pain. In the end I just gave up and lay in bed holding my poor ickle stump and tried not to break a hip each time I got the wave of pain.

Eventually I just decided to get up, get ready and head off on my bike. Maybe that would help, but hey that's a whole other story....

Phantom pain is a condition which affects some amputees. When an episode of phantom pain is experienced, the amputee has the sensation of pain in the missing limb, usually at the furthest point in the limb, such as the fingers of an amputated arm. The sensation of pain can be tingling, stabbing, crushing, or searing, and it can be a very intense experience. There are a number of ways to cope with phantom pain, and the problem is common enough that it is often discussed with amputees during the early stages of their recovery.
The cause of phantom pain appears to be a rewiring of the brain. When a limb is amputated, the brain is forced to remap itself to compensate for the missing limb, and sometimes this creates a situation in which signals in the brain may misfire. While the pain feels very real, it is in fact entirely in the patient's mind, although the perception of pain is the same as it is when the pain is real. A closely related phenomenon is phantom limb sensation, in which an amputee or someone born without a limb has the sensation that the limb is actually present.
Several things appear to increase the risk of phantom pain. If an amputee experienced considerable pain prior to amputation, phantom pain may be more common. Likewise in amputees with stump pain, or patients with prosthetics which do not fit correctly.
A variety of medications can be used to treat phantom pain, ranging from antidepressants to change the brain chemistry, to painkillers to address the sensation of pain. This condition can also be treated with spinal cord stimulation, nerve blocks, acupuncture, or the use of a Transcutaneous Electrical Nerve Stimulation (TENS) unit. Neurosurgery may also be used to target the malfunctioning area of the brain, and some patients also experience relief by “exercising” the phantom limb to work out the pain.
Pain in an amputated limb is a very real problem, even if it is really due to misfiring neurons. Phantom pain can be debilitating and extremely frustrating, especially when combined with the psychological issues often associated with amputation. Feelings of stress and loss related to the amputation may be amplified by phantom pain, making the amputee feel even more distressed. Historically, amputees have also had trouble communicating about phantom pain, because their complaints have been dismissed under the logic that since the limb isn't there anymore, it can't possibly be painful.

Taken from  http://www.wisegeek.com

Also checkout

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phantom_pain

Brian Bartlett "Backcountry Skiing with the BTK"

Hi guys

  I thought I'd share a video of my sponsor, a fantastic guy whom I'm sure you will have heard me mention before, his name Brian Bartlett.

Brian in Back country with his faithful companion Bear

First ride out on a bike in around 50 years...Dad your amazing

It's the weekend I'm off why can't my brain get this concept. I'm still tired yet have to get up. So I think to myself " I know I'll get my dad up too and treat him to a breakfast at McDonalds". Now that I'm working it's nice to be able to treat my dad as he has been awesome with me and god knows we have been through some tough times.

Me and The Ern

First ride out on my new NS Soda Air

       I awoke to a gorgeous morning, sun shining, birds tweeting I thought it must have been around 
10:30 am according to my internal clock. I leaned over and checked my phone, bloody hell 5:52 am. Aww what the hell I'm awake, may as well get up.

Plans were to ride my new bike, my NS Soda Air, which arrived from Damien Harris Cycles last Friday. I hadn't been out on the bike, not because of the crap weather. No it was because I was  waiting for some protective Heli Tape to arrive which I'd ordered off eBay. When it did arrive WoW what a nightmare I had fitting the stuff, but hey that's another story.

Back to this morning, a quick delve in my wardrobe and I got my new gear out. An awesome pair of Troy Lee Moto shorts in a really bright lumi green. These also came off of eBay and I'm well chuffed with them as I only paid £28.99 including postage, all the way from China. I was a bit dubious ordering them thinking they would be cheap copies, however when they arrived I can't find any difference to my other Troy Lee Moto's and I paid around £80 quid for those. Next I pulled out my new Fox Demo Jersey and  Sock Guy socks with WTF? logo's...Ooh I was really feeling the part.

Oooh I'm all colour co-ordinated

Mesothelioma Cancer Alliance

A little while ago I was contacted by a fellow blogger, Cameron Von St James. Cameron  had admired my Blog he saw how I had fought back to try and create some semblance of normality in my life and asked would I be willing to share his family's story, particularly about his wife Heather who was diagnosed with a form of cancer - mesothelioma

My story to me isn't all that interesting I mean yeah I have lost my leg and I have been diagnosed as having  low grade Non Hodgkin's lymphoma since, however I've never really thought "Hey I'm going to die from this". So I guess that's why I find Cameron's wife Heather so inspiring, as she has fought the odds and I'm pleased to say is doing well and continues to fight to create awareness of this terrible disease.

 I am only too willing to share Cameron and Heather's story if it in any way helps people understand this terrible disease. Creating awareness of disability or disease, as well as  understanding  is essential so that we can all hopefully go on to help one another, offer support and well just feel like we aren't alone in the darkest of days.

Heather's Blog

 http://www.mesothelioma.com/heather/#.UZFVesp5bh4

Checkout Heather's video right here...

Ahh what the hell summers coming time for a new bike

So since getting my new job, been there just over a month, got my first pay packet I decided to treat myself to a new ride.

Don't get me wrong I love my Fat Bike I just fancied something else to play around on, something I could have a go at jumping about on and blasting round in local woodland. I didn't want a full on DH rig as to be fair I've tried that out and ended up selling the bike as it wasn't being used to it's full potential.

So I opted to go for a NS Soda Air. The Soda can handle everything I could potentially throw it's way and I should be able to pedal it to and from where ever I fancy visiting.

I ordered my bike from Damian Harris Cycles and have to say they were spot on over the phone. I'm hoping to get delivery of my bike around Thursday, so fingers crossed we will have a nice weekend and I can get some good pics and maybe even a video shot.

http://www.damianharriscycles.co.uk/

Until I get some pics of my own here are some I sourced from the internet along with NS's promo video of the Soda in action.

Bike Specs :

 - Frame: Soda FR w/152-177mm (6-7") adjustable rear wheel travel, A6061-T6 custom formed and butted tubes, internal cable guide routing option
- Shock: Rock Shox Monarch Plus R, 216x63mm (8.5x2.5”)
- Fork: Rock Shox Liryk R Solo Air, 170 adjustable travel, 20mm axle, alloy tapered steer tube
- Headset: FSA Orbit 1.5E ZS, ACB cartridge bearings
- Cockpit: NS Quark Pro 31.8 stem, NS Evidence handlebar, Octane One bolt-on long grips
- Brakes: Avid Elixir 5 180mm rear & front
- Shifters: SRAM SX5 10spd
- Derailleur: SRAM X7 medium cage rear, 10spd
- Bottom Bracket: Truvativ GXP 73 mm
- Crank: Truvativ Descendant, alloy 36t chainring, 170mm
- Chainguide: E13 LS1+ (no bashguard)
- Chain: KMC DX-10SC, 1/2''x11/128'' for 10 spd
- Cassette: Sram PG-1030 10 speed 11-36
- Rims: NS Trailmaster 2 32h
- Hubs: NS Rotary 20 disk (sealed bearing), NS Rotary Cassette (sealed bearings, alu cassette)
- Spokes: Black spokes w/14mm nipples
- Tires: Maxxis Ardent 26x2.35 folding
- Seatpost: Kind Shock Dropzone 425mm, 125mm travel
- Saddle: Octane One Rocker Pro w/alloy titanium rail
- Pedals: NS Aerial (sealed bearings)
- Bike weight: ~14.9 kg (M size, including pedals)

A very enjoyable outing with my Cuz

Earlier in the week my cousin David sent me a txt asking if I was free on Saturday and up for a ride out. Sure I replied always up for a look out and it would be nice to have some company and a bit of a catch up as we rode.

Beamish through to Ousbrough Woods

 Yesterday, Ern, Mr Hinks and myself headed out for a mini adventure in Beamish Woods. We also took in part of Ousbrough Woods as it interlinks, depending on which trail you take.

My plans were to checkout different areas of the woods before actually riding them on my Sandman. There are some really steep banked sides in which the trees have taken root and in certain places it's un-rideable, no clear marked trails plus it's a bit on the dangerous side as there are some rather large drops.

It wasn't a bad day yesterday, in fact I had to take of my jacket and was happy just wandering around in my t-shirt and the norm for me shorts. We found some neat new trails and I even spotted a few places that looked as if they hadn't been ridden or walked on and thought to myself " Mmmm they may make for a nice blast down".

As we were checking out the woods we came to a rather steep incline, it was way to steep for us to walk down and I wasn't sure I could even make it on my bike. Would have to give it some thought when I returned, with my bike and camera.

After having a good look around we decided to head back up the bank side, in the general direction of where we had left the car. Now this bank side was as you can imagine quite slippy, what with pine needles,moss,old tree branches and twigs, you know the kind of stuff you see in a wood. Anyhoo I was making good progress, even though I was knackered "WoW what a climb". Then all of a sudden my prosthetic knee snagged and it bent/broke at the knee. I thought I was going to fall back down this geet big bank so grabbed for the nearest available tree. Now my dad says the tree was only around 3 inches in diameter, however I'm sure it was more like a huge oak, as when the bloody thing  snapped and then proceeded to twat me on the back of the head, well lets say I was a little stunned. I thought I'd done some serious damage to my shoulder too, as it felt like I had torn something. As I eventually got to the top of the bank I felt a bit better, just a bit sore where the tree had attacked me and took the skin off my arm.

After my fight with a tree, of course I was victorious

A small walk along the trail and we were soon back at our car. Got Mr Hinks and ourselves in and then we popped up to my Aunt and Uncles were I received some medical attention in the form of some Sudacrem from my Aunty Claire lol.

A nice cup of coffee and I was sorted felt much better and I had a better idea of where I could ride potentially on my next local adventure.

And so to today...

A very enjoyable outing, found some new trails which are quite fun and as usual had a blast on my Sandman. I feel so lucky to be able to get out on days like this, what with having my Bartlett Tendon. After years of being stuck in the house with a dodgy leg it sure does make you appreciate the great outdoors. Things are starting to blossom and bloom and these ancient woods sure are beautiful, even if the odd tree doesn't decide to help out and has a go at you instead lol.

 





































Today's footage was a mixed bag. I was gutted that most of the stuff that I took whilst my camera was on my helmet was pants, it's way to shaky. I do have one canny shot that you should all like so I have done a quick vid. What the hell possessed me to yank my front brake on and go arse over tit is beyond me I sometimes have these moments...when I say sometimes I do of course mean just about everyday.