A Socially Distanced Ride Out

        I have now been off work almost 6 months, initially feeling unwell at the start of February with yet another cold, leading to a chest infection and then Covid hit around March and I found myself being socially isolated in line with the government's guidelines for people assessed as being at a clinically higher risk.
 
During my time off I have not been sitting idle, far from it. In fact, my health and fitness regime, including my changed diet back in December of 2019 has continued and I now find myself on day 255 of cycling every day. The majority of this has been indoors upon my Turbo Trainer and road bike. 

Social distancing

A good few weeks back when the lockdown had eased somewhat I decided to head out on my bike and unfortunately over the course of 2 days, managed to snap 3 tendons which fit onto my Bartlett Tendon Knee. Rather than not use my knee I removed the cams and just decided to keep active cycling indoors. As well as cycling I have been also doing some core work and as much as I can with the pair of 15kg dumbbells I have. I am kind of limited for space in my bedroom for any more gear. Anyhoo it has kept me ticking over and I quite look forward to building up a sweat.

I bought a Fitbit a good few weeks ago and I think this has also helped maintain my enthusiasm as I can view various things upon the app and it gives me something to work towards.

Ooh and with being off I have also found more time to read. I have finished a number of books including the Unabombers Manifesto, and interesting read, but for a super-intelligent guy I just did not get his point or methodology.

I also have just finished a fantastic collective book of works by Neville Goddard. After reading Neville's work I am now trying to use his teachings to manifest amazing stuff into my life.

At the moment I am a couple of chapters into Alexandre Dumas and the Count of Monte Cristo. Wow this book so far is enthralling. I was even recounting the story to John as we went out for a ride, so a bit like Jackanory but on bikes. Not entirely sure how much attention John was taking as at one point he asked was I talking about Romans LoL

Anyhoo to today's adventure. Out the blue last night, my mate John messaged me asking how I was doing. John went on to say he had this week off and was I ok and up for a ride out. "Yeah sure" I replied as it has been ages since I have seen John and now as far as I am aware it is safe to venture out as long as you social distance. I mean I think this is correct, but who knows as the government just doesn't seem to be able to make it's mind up and is already preparing for the next wave.

Sorry, this is all over the place...Going back to the BTK Crossover I feel very fortunate to have received brand new cams and tendons from Brian Bartlett to try and remedy my snapped tendons. I am currently using what is classed as a G2 knee and there is a newer G3 knee now out. As I am no longer sponsored or supported, and prosthetic provision is very, very expensive I just feel really lucky to be able to use my current knee and get out and about. So at the moment, I have a sort of "Hybrid" Knee a mixture of old and new components.

BTK G2 Chassis and G3 Cams and Tendons appear to work

Today was the first time fitting the new components and initially, I didn't think they were going to work. I soon discovered they would, it was just that I was still half asleep this morning when fitting them and had forgotten to place the retaining "grenade" like pins in place into each of the cams. It's been so long since I used the knee for mountain biking it just completely slipped my mind. Anyhoo early morning panic over the knee once set up was spot on. I don't usually use the flexion wedge, however, Brian recommended popping it in as the G3 tendons are slightly longer when used with the G2 chassis and the wedge prevents a sharp tug on the tendons when going through flexion to extension.

Gear all packed just about John arrived down at my house at around 10:30 AM and we set off. Our plan was to venture up to Waskerley and have a little spot of bait at Smiddy Shore reservoir, before riding back.

As we rode from my house heading over to South Moor and heading up the "Black Path" John was in front. Now I am pretty much blind as a bat these days. I had popped my Oakley shades on as I knew there would be lots of flys about, and they knack when you get them hitting you in the eyes.  Anyhoo I don't know how I spotted it, but there on the very side of the narrow overgrown pavement was what I thought was a very small hedgehog. I immediately stopped as I had almost ran the poor little thing over and got off my bike shouting for John to wait as I did so. John came back just as I was taking my backpack off and going in my pack I recovered my gloves which I had packed just in case. I popped my gloves on and picked up this wee little, what looked like a baby hedgehog.

Aww poor wee Hog

Wee Hog started to come to life

Now I don't know much about hedgehogs, what time of year they should be out, how big they should be etc etc, but this little guy looked very small. I knew my friends Michelle and Lee quite often got them in their secluded garden so I rang Michelle to ask her advice. After speaking to Michelle, all the while holding this little hog, who was all balled up I waited for Michelle to text me the number for the Hedgehog Hotel over at Dipton. Apparently, it's a place that looks after hedgehogs and gets them ready to go back into the wild.


And so I rang the Hedgehog place, unfortunately, there was no reply, both John and I were unsure what to do at this point. I then rang my son Kyle to see if he could come over with a shoebox and pick up the little fella, thinking  I could maybe contact the hedgehog people later when I got back from my ride. Just then the little hedgehog started moving a lot more in my hand, opening his/her eyes and seeming a lot more energetic, compared to when I originally picked him/her off the pavement. Maybe it was the warmth of my hands as I held it. 

How cute is this little Hedgehog?

After a quick discussion with John, we decided maybe the little fella would be ok in the thicker undergrowth at the side of the pavement, which led into a safer wooded area. So I stepped over what used to be a fence and placed the little guy way back from the path. As I stepped back onto the pavement and as we listened carefully we could juts say here the little hog making its way through the brush.
 
Now I don't know about you, but for me no matter how old I get coming across a wild animal is so exciting, especially having the opportunity to actually hold it and look at the details of how beautiful and in this case how so very cute it was.
 
After that small encounter, we carried on our ride with me every now and again saying to John "Eeee I hope that little Hedgehog is ok". By the time we got to Smiddy Shore John said "are you still thinking of that hedgehog, you are aren't you"

 

Smiddy Shore

Maintaining Social Distancing

Maintaining Social Distancing

It was canny windy up at Smiddy Shore so we took shelter around the side of an old building while we ate the bits and bobs of stuff we had brought. A few pic later and it was time to head back, the return journey being a much easier ride.

John with his new Marin mtb

Man even though I have been riding some 255 days I can tell there is a huge difference between being "cammed" up and using tendons, compared to just riding without them on the turbo. Proper enjoyed the ride out even if I was knackered and it was great to catch up with John.

Me

I took my Specialized Turbo Levo today. I have been messing around with the Mission Control App and tuning the engine. I was quite surprised when I got back and checked my stats. Covering just under 30 miles I only used 12% battery, which I think is rather good. I rode the whole way there and back with only 10% assist on Eco mode. I reckon this just about covers the energy loss from being an above knee amputee, as whilst the bike does offer some assistance, it is by no means doing all of the work.

Myrtle continues to fight us all the way...

My last post about my wee 1965 VW Beetle Myrtle was back in April, man it feels so long ago and in that time it doesn't actually feel as if my dad and I have actually gotten much further along, however my bank account certainly tells a different story.

No matter what we have done trying to move forward it has been a case of one step forward, then encounter a new related problem and about 5 steps back.

We have run into so many things that I can't possibly recall them all. So although this sounds like a negative story, full of doom and gloom I do have to say and make clear that for me personally, I do still love my wee Bug, and like anything in life, she is a work in progress.

Myrtle is around 55 years old and with adding new bits and bobs to her she was always going to require some kind of modifications. 

Let's start with her suspension, something we have really struggled to get right. So after finally thinking we had everything sorted, a new steering box fitted to remove all the excess play in the old box. A quick steer kit added and the track rods fitted the correct way up. The front shockers in position on the shock locators which are welded in place onto Cage 66 Fabrications extended trailing arms. A homemade steering stop (something I may change at a later date just for aesthetics, even though you cannot really see it and it works) Everything looked spot on.

Home designed steering stop

My dad and I had the fuel tank out so we could peer under the bonnet and see the steering components and shockers etc. Upon airing Myrtle up she was still struggling to lift her driver's side front, even with a lot more psi in that side, so she always looks to be leaning. We re-adjusted the front trailing arms, making sure they were not bolted up too tight and also re-greased the new 4" narrowed beam. Things appeared a little better. Then we went to lower Myrtle, fully airing her out. Now upon measuring her from the driver's to the passenger side, the driver's side was 20mmm lower than the passenger side. Upon closer inspection, it became evident that the track rod was tight up against the body, at the inner wheel arch. This required a little modification to cut a notch. I admit I had to step away at this point as my dad whipped out his reciprocating gizmo and began cutting the inner panel. Job done we tidied the area up as best we could and it doesn't look too bad. At least Myrtle can sit aired out and she is not catching anywhere on the front.

When lowered track rod hitting the inner arch

To avoid the fuel tank catching on the steering bits and pieces I also ordered a really neat tank raise from Eva Resto. A brilliant bit of kit, raising my tank 35mm and with channels down either side, so the wiring can sit neatly nestled away.

Tank sitting on Eva Resto Tank Raise

Next on the agenda was to get Myrtle's wiring sorted. Now, this wasn't a job we were ever going to tackle really, but after a lot of consideration and during working on Myrtle finding a few burnt wires I asked my dad "how big a job is it? and do you think "WE" as in...ahem! Ern, can we do it ourselves". You see I am useless when it comes to most things, but especially wiring, I don't even know how to wire a plug up...well I mean they come pre-fitted now anyhoo.
 
Much research was done upon the interwebs at this point and I eventually came across a guy who I discovered had a really good reputation and knew his stuff. Yes, the wiring was going to cost a little more than I first thought, however after speaking to Iain Burns over at Aircooled Auto Elec the complete loom he could make up and provide became a no brainer.

Aircooled Auto Elec Top Quality and Iain Burns Topman

20 Blade fuse box, now everything is isolated and independent

Iain was spot on and our communications both over the phone and using Whatsapp within a few days resulted in me having a modern 20 Blade Fuse Box, complete with custom wiring loom that had everything included to run all my electrical needs. So things like my dual compressors and ECU for my Air Ride set- up. Safety relay for my electric fuel pump. Separate power for my soon to be fitted auto clutch adaption. A spur for our modified electric wiper switch. Oh and also included within the loom a plug with accompanying wires for an alarm system I had purchased. There was even an accessory USB that I can fit in my glovebox.

I removed a spare toggle switch from under the dash and made a bracket for the alarm LED

Alarm LED which is super bright

Wiring so much neater

Rear-end a lot neater thanks to the wiring loom

Iain integrated the alarm wiring into the loom

Ern testing plug when he went to fit the alarm

One problem we did encounter upon fitting the 20 blade Fuse box was that the fuse box was not accessible when the Air Ride Cradle was in place, so we had to modify the cradle somewhat.

This area covered the new fuse box

Once trimmed we can now access the fuses when installed

Anyhoo I have to give a huge shout out to Iain as he went out of his way to help us throughout the fitting of the new loom and the loom itself is top-notch pure quality. The icing on the cake for me was when I actually got to have a working interior light, as this was one of my first purchases believe it or not when I bought Myrtle over a year ago and started this journey.

Well chuffed with interior light

Again doing a lot of research I had originally planned on fitting LED Headlights to Myrtle. However, upon reading about the cheaper lights available upon the likes of Amazon and eBay I discovered that although they can look pretty cool, the cheaper Chinese made lights throw off terrible beam patterns. Apparently, it's all to do with where the "hot spot" of the light is produced.

So I decided to opt for replacing the headlight and sidelight bulbs themselves and found some replacement LED bulbs over at Classic Car LEDs.  This meant I could retain my old classic reflectors and light housing. I have to say I am impressed with the brighter light, far better than the old yellow dull candle-like glow. I also have some nice shiny stainless steel headlight surrounds to go on as the old chrome ones look a bit pitted.

LED Headlight Bulbs

Installed, proper easy job

Bulbs

LED's all around

Loving the much brighter rear LED's

As mentioned earlier we had the fuel tank removed from Myrtle and it was at this point whilst trying to find somewhere to place the alarm siren Ern decided he didn't like the look of the old brake pipes and the way they were routed. So he decided he was going to remove them. We had taken the Compressors and manifold out upon the air ride cradle to finish off the wiring so this was the ideal time to replace the brake pipes at this point.

New brake pipes installed along with Eva Resto Tank Raise

Upon removing the pipes, my dad having to cut them, we tried our best to mop up and wash off any brake fluid, however, it was inevitable some would get on my paintwork. Some paint was already flaking in the area where the brake fluid reservoir is situated on the inner wing. I came down the next morning after my dad had fitted the new pipes and discovered a large area of flaked and blistered paint. It looked bloody awful. So the next couple of days were spent trying to do a spot repair under the bonnet. Myrtle is never going to be a show winner, but the repair looks ok and at least it should protect her. To be fair she now looks better than before as like I say her paint was blistered in a similar area.

Not too bad a spot repair

Upon removing and then replacing the fuel tank and the inline fuel filter, and the pipes from brake reservoir some fluid must have spilt and have gotten on my small alarm siren as the dam plastic bracket snapped clean off. This meant I had to go Googling for a new Alarm Siren and we decided to mount it in a different position out the way. I now have a new funky sounding alarm sound.

Myrtle's wiring all complete and everything working. Ern fitted a small micro switch to the internal wiper switch so that when the plunger was pressed it would contact and the new electric wiper pump would activate and in turn spray water onto Myrtle's screen. A cool little mod which keeps the original appearance of the car. I saw the idea for the mod on the Samba Forums. Mind you Ern did mislay the small plunger and I was gutted that a new one cost me almost £20 inc p+p

Inside Myrtle is practically gutted. I had bought some interior ply door card templates from eBay. I think they were about £40, they are about 3mm thick and a right pain in the arse to get clipped in. I am hoping when the time comes to get Myrtle's interior trimming done these will help out. Her old cards must have got wet at some point and they were looking a bit worse for wear.

Hopefully can trim these as they are thicker than standard cards.

Myrtle already had some soundproofing inside, but I decided to buy a soundproofing kit from Car Insulation.co.uk I got a full classic Beetle kit and also bought some Large Sheets of PeaceMAT XR Car Sound Deadening Material. I have since placed in the PeaceMat, selecting areas to give me good coverage combing the old deadening material with the new. Once I finally decide on what my rug options are I can sort out the rest of the soundproofing kit I got which looks to be good stuff.
     

Pretty easy to apply this sound deadening

A lot of Myrtle pre-covered so just filling in areas

In reality, having Myrtle to tinker on with has been great during the lockdown, it's filled in a great deal of time for both my dad and myself.

A Little Rat Fink Action

Ern had been looking for little jobs to be getting on with. I found him just last week replacing the fuel line and in making a heat shield to protect the line from where it comes out of the electric fuel pump. The pump being situated on the rear axle. The fuel line appears quite close to my passenger side J Tube.

Whoever had Myrtle in a previous life did a great job in making a removable panel over her gearbox. it just makes getting to the starter and rear of the engine area and top of the gearbox so much easier.

It really helps to have this removable panel

New Fuel line in, Ern has made a heat shield, not in picture as the fuel line is close to J Tube

I had always had a plan to do a front disc conversion on Myrtle so ordered up a CB Performance front brake conversion kit from Limebug. This included all the necessary parts and I opted for the kit with the 2 1/2" dropped spindles. 

Myrtle already has dropped spindles fitted, but my thinking in looking at the CB Performace versions is that the brake callipers actually look to mount directly to the spindles, rather than a separate bracket that goes onto the beam. I may be wrong here as I just went off online images. 

Upon further reading about the brake disc conversion, I discovered that the hubs/rotors come pre-installed with studs. So what this would mean is having wheel nuts on the front and wheel bolts to the rear. I really wanted everything to be the same so it was at this point I started looking around for press in studs to put into the rear drums. I will get back to that bit in a moment.

As Myrtle was starting to take shape, her wiring looking all nice and neat, plus I had also tidied up her engine bay, having bought a new pulley tin and having it modified at a local metal fabricator to fill in a small hole (something only the eagle-eyed and purists will spot I am guessing) Then, of course, painting it Dolphin Grey to match the other tinware.

I would really have liked to remove the engine and get all new tinware, getting rid of the fan shroud heater pipes etc. But hey that's maybe for the future. We also fitted a new Crank Pulley bolt as the one that came with the MST kit kept coming undone. Oh and whilst I am talking about the back end of Myrtle upon going to start her a couple of weeks ago it appears her electronic ignition had just decided to die, so we have had to resort to going back to points for the time being.

Saying which I have a brand new Magnaspark II Billet Distributor, new 8mm HT leads and a Magnaspark coil. I am just awaiting a fuel block off cover with integrated coil mount to arrive from Aircooled Hut.

New Tin seal and engine area looking pretty clean

Just awaiting Fuel Pump Block-off and coil mount.

I figured the time had now come to get some new wheels. Now as we all know wheels are a major decision on a car, they can make or break a car. And again you have guessed it a whole lot of research. I just could not find a set of 17" inch wheels that came in anything but 7" inches wide. Now I knew 17"' s would fit as I had seen them online on other peoples cars, however, this is the fatal mistake many of us make. It is not so much that they will fit, it is how do you make them fit. I can tell you now from personal experience it can be a very expensive and frustrating process, one I am going through at the moment, as I will explain. 

JBW 7.0x17 SMA Wheels

So I firstly got my eye on a lovely set of 7.0 x 17 Radars. I had seen a Bug in the FastCar magazine and it looked sweet. Upon reading about the car it stated the guy was running a 4" narrowed beam. "Great," I thought the same as me. I then read that the wheels apparently were 7.5 inches wide, this couldn't be right as far as I was aware they only came in a 7" wide fitment on a 17. Not only that this guy who was some sort of an engineer with all the gear and know-how had actually narrowed his wheels to get the best fitment.

I then got my eyes on another Bug online at Volxzone. Upon reading about this car the guy had the 7.0x17 JBW SMA wheels, but he was running a 6" narrowed beam. I have just recently bought and had fitted a 4" beam so this really wasn't a route I wanted to go down, and this is where no matter how much research you do when you want something and start imagining it in your head you make stupid decisions.

So this is what was going on inside my head "Oh I'll just order some 7.0x17's JBW SMA's. I know I'll pop 185 tyres on the front, they are bound to fit". And so I spoke to a very helpful gentleman named David over at R&R Alloys. David went through the process of measuring for poke and offset to check for clearance. He was spot on in his communications and even though the JBW SMA wheels were not advertised upon his website he managed to get both the wheels and tyres in stock within about a week. 

Just a note as these wheels were not a standard size fitment that is the reason I have encountered problems. David and R&R Alloys were spot on and a real pleasure to do business with. They were very helpful and something I  really appreciated was there was no sales pressure. That for me is very important in any dealings. I hate it when you call somewhere and are made to feel like just another punter. Once I get things sorted I have promised to get back in touch with David as he took a genuine interest in Myrtle.

I am guessing you may have an inkling as to what happened next. Yes, it was that "Dun, dun dun" moment, as I excitedly unboxed my brand spanking, amazing looking wheels. Myrtle was up on axle stands, aired out so her rear suspension was at it's maximum for height. I went to put one of the new wheels on the rear, placing it up against the drum and "Errrr what", it wouldn't sit straight. On closer inspection, the rim was actually hitting the rear bump stop. Bloody hell, nowt ever just fits.

I came back in the house and began searching to see if other people had experienced this problem. Sure enough, as Myrtle is a 65 with short axles I was going to need 1" spacers, obviously I had not researched enough. So onto Limebugs page and a couple of spacers ordered. Oh and this is where I also go back to the wheel studs.

So with having to fit a 1" wheel spacer, plus the wheel and then take into consideration the length of how much the stud would go into the drum, my dad and I had to measure everything. It turned out that a press in stud would fit approx 9mm into the drum. The spacer was 25mm or 1" inch and the wheel itself at the hub is also 25mm, so that was 65mm in total approximately.
 
Checking the internet Honda studs appeared as if the would fit. They are 12mm with a 1.5mm threaded pitch and the knurled area is just about spot on. I ordered 10 of these Evo Corse Spline Wheel Hub Stud M12X1,5 67mm For Honda from Motorsport-Tools.com.

Again more research on The Samba Forums and my dad ordered a 10.20 mm drill bit. Once everything had arrived including new wheel nuts from John Brown Wheels, we set about drilling the drums and my dad took the drums and studs over to a local garage who were kind enough to allow him to use their press to press in the studs.
 
Once the spacers arrived from Limebug we again test fitted one of the rear wheels, which was fitted with 205/40/17 tyre. This time the wheel went on no problem, with just enough clearance. You have to remember that actually, Myrtle would probably never be at her maximum suspension range, as we still had he on axle stands and her rear suspension hanging freely. What we then did was pop a jack under her rear suspension on the side we were working on and jacked it up as if Myrtle was being lowered, so pushing the wheel up into her inner arch. The wheel/tyre eventually caught the inner body, as I would expect, however, this would be in a position when she was sitting pretty low when fully aired out. So it looks like we had sorted the rear end.

Moving onto the front end and so the nightmare that is cars and wheels began.
I may as well just say from the off 7.0 x 17's on a 4" narrowed beam running either 185/35/17 or 205/40/17's and air ride do not fit. 

Oh and another side note for me I absolutely hated the look of the 185/35/17 on the 7" wide rim. Obviously, the tyre was stretched, something that totally went over my head when I ordered the setup. By this I mean the outside edge of the alloy rim was protruding somewhat all the way around. I know some people like the look, but for me it's a Big fat NO.  

Many people have commented and said this fitment actually works, but I think when they are comparing one car to another it is where one car is statically lowered and a choice is made between being low enough for clearance and looks. Whereas a car that is on air which has the potential to go much lower, if you run the wrong setup it kind of defeats the point of having air ride on in the first place. 

Now I am obviously not a professional in this so just speaking from my own experience. If you read this it may help you if you are thinking of going down this route. What I would say is do a lot of research and if at all possible borrow wheels off one of your mates to do a test fit. As I am socially inept and have no friends I have no one to call upon so I have to rely on spending huge amounts of money and learn by making mistakes.

Loving the look of the SMA's on the back

Gutted front wheels don't fit

SMA's retain a classic look

Ok so with the wheel on the front, when turning full lock to the Left the tyre was catching the pan of the car just where the inner wheel arch is and upon turning hard-Left the rim/tyre was catching the front beam, just about where the trailing arms attach...

We even tried popping the 1" inch spacer on the front, this helped with the catching of the pan and beam, the wheel just say catching the beam on full lock, however upon going to air Myrtle out with her now having a much wider track the new wheels/tyres ended up being pressed hard up against the outer edges of the front wings. I couldn't actually air her all the way out otherwise it may have ripped her wings off or at least bent and damaged them.

Next thought "Omg, omg, omg" followed by a string of obscenities, followed closely by putting all wheels away, going upstairs to my room, throwing my leg off and taking refuge under my duvet. Hey, we all react in different ways.

After a stressful and frustrating few hours of hiding, I eventually emerged to discuss options with good Ole Ern. Although my dad and I can sometimes go hammer and tongs at one another, I know he always has my best interests at heart. We kind of agreed at this point it's not a money thing as I mean I have chucked so much at this little car over the last year just quitting isn't even an option.

So plan of attack we figured I had 3 options.

First... sell brand new wheels second hand and take a loss and just run her with standard steels which was not the vision I had for Myrtle.

Second... chance buying a 6" narrowed beam which would cost me another £850 or so, then remove the 4" beam and try and sell it second hand. This option requires a lot of work, plus no guarantees and after reading about 6" beams and steering kind of put me off.

Third... and something I had investigated even before I had bought these wheels, get the wheels narrowed professionally.

And I think I am going to end there and will add another update when we have solved this latest problem

PS anyone want to but some Nankang NS-20 185/35/17's brand new with labels still attached?

Pay it forward

A few days ago I was contacted via Youtube by a lady who had seen one of my Youtube videos. She wrote asking for advice on how to set up and use the Bartlett Tendon in order to be able to pedal foot over foot out of the saddle.

Now I know those of you reading who have not had an above-knee amputation will think it's no big deal, it's easy right? You just hop on your bike and when you feel like it just get up off your saddle and let your legs do the work, pumping away and gaining speed.



Well for an above knee amputee without the correct prosthetic knee, which to be honest are few and far between it is pretty difficult if not impossible. When you lose a leg your whole body dynamics are changed, you no longer have a long lever as in bones, you lack muscles, ligaments and tendons. So in order to be able to ride as close to as "normal" as possible a specifically designed sporting prosthetic is required. This is where the Bartlett Tendon Knee (BTK) comes into its own.

Brian Bartlett the designer of the BTK has continued in his development and as time has gone on the knee has become more and more advanced and user friendly. Lots of research and development has gone into getting the prosthetic to the stage it is at now and Brian has worked tirelessly and I have to say not for profit but to offer people something that actually works.

Brian knows only to well the frustrations of being told "you can no longer do that" and for him, that was just not an option. So he set about on his mission all those years ago to design and have manufactured something that would enable both himself and end-users a product that would replicate as much as possible the natural physical movement of a human leg when used in various sports, cycling being one of those.

Going back to the lady who reached out to me. It was very difficult to write to someone and try to explain just what to do in order to be able to set about riding out of the saddle. I have over the years tried helping many people with technique and setup, however, unless you can actually do a one to one session and demonstrate like I say it's difficult to put down in words.

The basic setup of the knee, things like air pressure in the shock, rebound damping and compression can be explained. What settings to have cam's on etc, but as mentioned actually riding is something that has to be practised, felt and learnt.

Whilst chatting with the lady in question I learnt that she was using an older version of the Bartlett Tendon Knee. This was the version with the receivers placed onto the socket and the pinned Cam's. She explained that she could pedal comfortably and stand with flat pedals but couldn't stand and pedal, foot over foot.

Her setup was 2 soft tendons in the 2nd cam position, and about 70 or 80 psi in Rockshox RT3 shocker. She also mentioned she weighed about 130 pounds and that she had the Rebound all the way up.

After reading her message I knew I had to familiarise myself with the older version of the Bartlett Tendon, you see I have been using the newer BTK Crossover which is a completely different animal.

Anyhoo in order to get to grips with the older knee involved quite the adventure, you see Ern, my pops had decided to not only put my old knee up in our loft but also dismantle the whole thing. I had a very scary job of retrieving all the bits by climbing our skinny, wobbly loft ladder, harder than you think when wearing a prosthetic leg and not being able to feel where your foot is, plus making sure my knee was locked upon each step. Wor Kyle waited at the bottom of the steps to gather all the components. Once passed down another scary venture down the ladders.

I had to then assemble the BTK, and attach it to an old socket which I reckon I hadn't worn in like 2 years. Overall the job didn't take too long and I was really surprised that I pretty much got the alignment sorted on my first go.

I put all the settings of the knee to there basics, no air pressure in, no pins in the cams, soft tendons and I had a little tinker with the rebound deciding to try the knee on 5 clicks which is halfway. I then jumped on my road bike set up in my turbo Trainer and went for a little blast.

Wow, the older BTK felt so different to my Crossover, so much so at first, I thought I had set it up incorrectly. However, after a little spinning then selecting the correct gears on my bike I was soon up and standing out of my saddle and pedalling foot over foot. It didn't look pretty, this being down to not adjusting the whole prosthetic correctly. I had not measured my pylon for height, or adjusted toe in or out and aligned the socket to the knee perfectly, however, I was pretty happy that I could do a little demo of the technique used.

I used my GoPro set up on the end of my bed and shot a short video in 2 clips which I then edited together, added some music and hey presto something that hopefully was a lot more informative than writing a long message.

For anyone reading this you will see I titled it "Pay it forward". This is an important message as it relates to all those people and more that have helped support me over the years. Far too many to mention, however, you know who you are. To name but a few Brian Bartlett, Pace Rehabilitation, Arctic ONE and my dear old dad who has always supported me in my challenges, even though I can be quite challenging at times LoL...

Thank You

Almost...Drowning in Sicily!

Hey Guys

This is a true story written by a good friend of mine, about a very nearly fateful day whilst on holiday in Sicily, for both herself and her husband Lee (also a top lad and good friend) Michelle asked me a few days ago would it be ok for her to write a story and "Hijack my blog" as she put it. Of course, I said "Yes". 

Michelle went on to say " The blog I'm writing isn't about bikes or anything but I wanted to write, for my own therapy, and share an example of how humour can be found at some of the most testing times of our lives and the story will be about how I nearly drowned on a holiday to Sicily about 18 months ago".

Hi Glenn, I've finally finished this story and its below. X

I recently watched a video of two men doing the North Coast 500 in Scotland on bikes as well as some people driving around it. Both videos talked of the hairpin bends and it reminded me of a holiday in Sicily in 2018 and I had intended to write a bit of a blog about it for therapeutic reasons, but never got round to it. Well nearly 2 years later, I've just written in. Perhaps not recommended for those who have bad memories out at sea, but I hope gives a bit of insight and at least, to always listen to your instincts. 

Back in the Summer of 2018, we were fortunate to be given the opportunity to visit Sicily by a friend, Riccardo or Ricci as we've always referred to him. Ricci is very close to two of my nieces and nephew and knows my son too. He is so kind and easy to get along with and from a family get together the previous New Year's Day at our house, we got on talking about his home in Sicily and before we knew it, he had offered us free use of his family home if we fancied visiting Sicily. Wow-what a lovely offer, demonstrating just what kind of guy Ricci is and who, in their right mind, is going to turn that down! He was brought up in Sicily until a certain age then moved to the UK. However, the family home remained in Sicily where his whole family still use it as a base when visiting. So 6 months later we were at Manchester Airport, ready for the off. 

We were travelling to Catania Airport as Ricci's family home was located in a beautiful little village in the Siracusa area. Manchester airport was as expected, busy but wow what a shambles the security process was. There was no 'queue' of sorts and Mary, Lee and I got separated in the throng of people who were desperate to get through. We had the usual, remove coats, shoes, anything in pockets, liquids bag removed from case etc. During the scuffle and pandemonium, Mary, unbeknown to her at the time, had clothes and hair tongs removed from her suitcase. She seemed to take ages to get through but once at the other end we found each other and organised ourselves 'back to normal'. When we arrived in Sicily Mary realised a number of items missing from her case including clothes and hair tongs. I wonder what they do with all of those items not put back in travellers cases.

Lee

The approach to Catania Airport was stunning, as in the distance we saw Mount Etna and it was billowing smoke from its crater. The view was incredible. What an amazing start to our visit. Unboarded, through security and customs, picked up a hired car, all no problems. Fantastic. The drive from Catania to the village was lovely and we found the house very easily. The house is lovely and on 3 or 4 floors with a rooftop view that let you see for miles and miles. The village was called Canicattini Bagni and we observed a funeral procession on our first afternoon there. We were having a few drinks on the street outside the bar and every single person on that street stopped what they were doing, took off their hats and bowed their heads in respect. It was very moving and felt very traditional.

Mount Etna

The village itself contained a number of shops, a beautiful small park, church and amazing pubs and restaurants. We ate pizzas from a small local place called Charleston, on several occasions whilst there and they were the best best pizzas we had ever experienced anywhere. They alone, are worth a trip back.

Mmmmmmmm!

So for the first couple of days, we visited a beach, a local town, I recall was called Noto, with beautiful old architecture and we tried out some coffee houses with cakes. Everything was exquisite.
On, what I think it was the third day of our holiday, we decided to head out to the beach and relax. I did all of the driving to keep the insurance costs down, or at least that had been the plan before we left England. Lee and I work best when I drive and he map reads. That suits him well too as it means, he is generally the one who drinks (with his Mam), whilst I remain sober.

On this day, we used the satnav, as usual, to get us to a beach. I actually have no recollection which beach we went to, but what I do recall is the satnav taking us up a huge mountain pass, I mean really big. I am a very confident driver, but I admit I was very nervous as we started to ascend up a large range of mountains, with thin winding narrow roads. The condition of the roads was poor, with loose rocks in many places especially at the edges of both sides of the road. There were a lot of hairpin bends. Lee immediately likened the drive to a scene from The Italian Job and as I nervously crept around one hairpin bend after another on the edge of huge cliff edges, Lee played that song from the beginning of The Italian Job, having a bit laugh like he does. The weather was beautiful with a blue cloudless sky. The warmth of the sun beating through the car windows was comforting balanced with the air con and the music and views made for a beautifully memorable experience. It was only the knowledge that I held the responsibility for everyone's life by having full control of the car, that gave it a nerving element. We eventually got somewhere near the top, drove on flat but windy roads for a little while, before I saw the descent in front of us. Again my nerves kicked in as I started to slowly descend, foot on the brake the whole way down to control the speed of the car. It was terrifying. Some of the downhill ratio descents felt almost vertical and there were countless hairpin bends. As we reached the bottom I remember saying, with huge relief, that had to be the biggest traumatic experience of our holiday and at least it was over and done with and we would definitely go home a different way. Oh, how wrong I was. We later learned that there was indeed a very straight forward way back, missing out the mountains entirely and it was a shorter journey. 🙄

We arrived at the coastline in no time at all and followed it along heading North I assume, as the coast was on our right-hand side. At some point, we saw a sign for a beach. The parking was to the left of us and about a 5-minute walk away from the beach itself. It was quite busy with cars but we managed to get parked and we followed the signs down to the beach. 

When we got there, the view was simply gorgeous. Blue sky, white sand, waves in a beautiful sea. We scanned left and right deciding which way to head and find a nice area to set up and lie down. Lee, I knew would want to go right. This is because there were hardly any people to the right and the beach kind of stopped not too far away to the right, whereas to the left, we could see miles of white sandy coastline and very busy with families and couples and loads of lovely coloured umbrellas flapping in the wind. Lee always prefers the quieter areas, so we turned right. We found a space to sit, as far away from other people as possible but there really weren't many people in this area anyway. 

It must have been less than 10 minutes before Lee and I headed into the water. There were a lot of waves and we jumped in them and had fun. After not too long, I had a feeling that the waves were getting stronger. In hindsight, perhaps we were going further out without realising, but whatever instinct kicked in, it told me to get out of there pretty quick. I shouted at Lee, who was further out, that the waves felt too strong and we really should get out now. My memory isn't entirely full here, but I think I may have mentioned having heard of rip tides, and it not feeling right and will he come out., or perhaps that was a memory of a dream some time afterwards. I got out of the water and turned around to ensure he was making his way out too. I instinctively felt that he was, not fully struggling, but equally not finding it easy to make his way out. I waited and watched and a tang of concern overshadowed me as I could now see he was struggling. I shouted out 'You OK ?' but I soon realised he wasn't. I could see him battling against the waves and he got dragged out to the right-hand side where an outcrop of rocks was located, reaching out into the sea. I walked across the sand at the water's edge, following towards where he was being dragged. As he reached the rocks he grabbed onto them, but their formation was quite steep and vertical where he had been dragged to I knew he couldn't pull himself up and climb up the rocks. I shouted again was he, OK but I could see he wasn't. 

Instinct rather than preplanned careful consideration led me to get into the water thinking I can help him get out. For those that know Lee and myself, they'll be wondering what on earth was I thinking. I'm a very overweight, 51 (at that time) year old woman with not the best health record and not exactly fit. Lee, on the other hand, is 4 years younger than me and super fit. Despite this, I am (with a smirk on my face) still a better swimmer than him, not that Lee can't swim, he can, very competently. As a child, my brother and sister and myself were joined into a swimming club, Newburn swimming club at West Denton, where we learned to be very good strong swimmers, in every stroke including the physically challenging butterfly. We swam like fish and general swimming (not intense training) was completely effortless. I'm nowhere near that level now but swimming at that level brought great confidence in water and breathing and keeping afloat in a totally relaxed way even being able to lie on the (still) water not moving arms or legs and remain afloat very easily. Even now in my 50's, I can swim 200 lengths of a 20-metre pool with relative ease and not even run out of breath. This isn't because I'm super fit, its because I know my technique of swimming and breathing without using all of my energy and having a high level of feeling confident within the water. 

I entered the water until I could no longer feel the sea bed, moving towards him, as I lost my footing on the sea bed, I could feel the strength of waves was even more powerful than I had expected, so powerful that I found I had no strength to fight where the sea wanted to take me. It swept me to the same place as Lee. I was relieved to be close to him but knew we were in trouble and the look on his face re-affirmed that. I reached out and grabbed hold of the rocks and placed my feet on the rocks beneath the water. Lee shouted over towards the beach 'Help, Help' repeatedly. We could see Mary stood up on the beach watching us, but with the wind, I doubt she'd hear us. There really were not many others on the beach - we had certainly chosen the wrong spot. The few that were there, lay completely flat, sleeping in the glorious sun. I hadn't realised until this time just how dangerous those rocks were. Firstly, they were very very slippery, obvious in hindsight, but I hadn't thought of this until I was desperately trying to keep my hands and feet gripped onto them. Secondly, they were razor sharp. So whilst we used strength to keep gripped on, they cut our hands and feet every time we re-gripped. Finally, the other danger was the lashing waves ripping up against us and the rocks moving our bodies to and fro and side to side. It was hard work to stay put. The waves got stronger and I knew it was only a matter of time before I couldn't hold on any longer. I still don't know to this day, if the last wave pulled me off the rocks entirely, or if my energy just depleted so that I couldn't hold on, but either way, a wave smashed in and as the current pulled back with huge power, it took me with it. I recall me looking at Lee direct, as the wave pulled me backwards and him looking at me with all I can describe as absolute pure fear and terror. The wave was so powerful and strong that the speed and strength at which it pulled me back was staggering. Within seconds I was pulled way out to sea. I managed to keep facing forward, knowing I was facing the beach. I was pulled so far out and the waves were now too strong and high, that I couldn't actually see the beach any more. I couldn't see anyone. I tried to remain as calm as possible. Eventually, the waves seemed to pull me back to a point where I wasn't moving anywhere, or at least not the speed it had just taken me, but the water seemed to hold me in the position and I couldn't move out of it. I kept afloat and kept looking back watching for the next wave. The waves were so high, I couldn't swim over them or keep afloat, so I just braced myself, just before each wave hit and held my breath and went with the wave relaxing as much as possible, coming out on top of the water once the wave had passed. Whilst I did this, for what seemed like ages, I was very very aware my energy was draining. I never took in big mouthfuls of water (like the kind you do accidentally and it feels like water fills your lungs) but must have been taking in some water. I found I wasn't able to swim up and reach out of the water after each wave as easily or strongly as I had been doing so and I started to struggle to take in enough air before the next wave came. The waves were relentless. My arms started to feel weak. I kept this going for, well I don't know how long but it really did feel like ages. As each wave felt stronger and I struggled more, this is when panic set in and my strength deteriorated rapidly. 

It was some point, within a minute or so, after knowing my energy was draining rapidly that a wave came and I struggled to get my head up out of the water but I did, just, and I truly felt that the next wave and attempt to gasp air, may well be my last. I was still facing the beach direction, though I still couldn't see the beach. All I could see was water, all around me and nothing else. Even my eyes weakened at this point and just as I knew I couldn't keep fighting much more, I saw a person swimming towards me in the water out to my left-hand side. This absolutely and undoubtedly gave me a kick of inner strength to keep my head above water level and as I felt an overwhelming sense of connection with whoever this was, I saw to the right-hand side of me another person swimming out to me. I managed to stay afloat and each man grabbed an arm. They spoke to me but I can't recall anything they said. Whatever it was, I know I didn't answer. I had absolutely no strength whatsoever. 

They swam out to the right-hand side of where I had seemed to be stuck and after a short time then swam straight towards the beach. I didn't know why or even wonder why at that time. But I've read about riptides and I now understand that this is the way to get out of a riptide, to swim out of it at the side rather than directly in front of where it's moving. Had I have known this before that fateful day, I may have been able to swim ashore myself. 

They dragged me and swam and I recall that as they started to head towards the beach direction they asked me to kick my legs to help swim with them. I couldn't. I really couldn't. My body was drained of everything. 

As we got to the point where the seabed was within reach of our feet and they stood up they asked me to stand up to walk the remaining distance to the beach, but again I couldn't. There was no energy, absolutely none. I couldn't even talk. They had to drag me out of the sea (I'm not exactly of feather lightweight) and therefore not easy to simply lift up in their arms to gently place on the sand. I was dragged across the sand and I can't begin to say how grateful I was, for any which way they wanted to drag or handle me. 

Once on the beach, they put me in the recovery position. I didn't have the energy to open my eyes but I could hear Lee's voice. So yes, Lee had survived and somehow got back to the beach. I later learned that he had managed to keep hold of those rocks and slowly move his way towards the beach bit by bit until the rocks started to flatten in shape where he could actually climb onto them. Two men, from the beach, had gone out to help him. He shouted at them that his wife was out at sea, pointing in the direction that I had been taken, though none of them could see me. The men headed out to sea as Lee scrambled his way over the rocks and onto the beach. 

Back on the beach where I was now in the recovery position, I heard Lee's voice he kept repeating my name over and over telling me I'd be OK. They held me in the recovery position. Inside me, I could feel something big, something big wanting to come up, maybe vomit? water ?. I didn't know what it was but the feeling was overwhelming and very strong. It was painful. I knew I needed to be sat upright. I couldn't speak as I had no energy to even do that. All I could manage to say was 'Up', over and over again between trying to breathe. I could hear Lee tried telling the two men that I wanted to sit up, but they said I needed to remain in the recovery position. They were Italian, but one spoke good English. I repeated again 'Up, Up, Up'. Lee insisted that he needed to get me up. They eventually all helped me sit up, and I let out the biggest loudest burp you could imagine. They then slowly put me back into recovery and I remember feeling relieved that the big ache in my stomach had gone. As I had burped I managed to open my eyes slightly and saw Lee. He looked OK, I mean he was upright and talked and alert but he was covered in blood. 

I wasn't there for long at all before I was transported to a helicopter. I remember a lot of people being with me in the helicopter and that there was no room for Lee or Mary. The back of the helicopter was very small and compact. I think there were 3 or 4 people in there with me, but no room for anyone to move anywhere. I had a tube pushed down my throat into my stomach and something pumped into my stomach. I think they were trying to make me vomit or bring up water, and I didn't and I think they couldn't understand why. I do wonder if they thought I would have swallowed lots and lots of water, but I hadn't. Or perhaps I was wrong. I still don't know what that was. I can't remember landing or going into the hospital. I now know I was taken to Catania Hospital.

The Helicopter that I was transported in

My next memory is being in an area of the hospital with lots of people coming and going. I remember having a very strong overpowering feeling of needing to contact Lee. I was sat in a hospital with bloods being taken, I think I still had a tube in my nose. What I remember vividly is having very shallow breathing, short breaths. I couldn't breathe in deeply and slowly no matter how much I tried. I remember lying on a hospital trolley bed with nothing more than my bather on me and my wedding ring. Nothing else at all. Absolutely nothing. Nothing to identify who I was even. No shoes or slippers if I needed to get up for the toilet. Just nothing. People's English wasn't great. Now don't misunderstand me. I'm not the kind of person who 'expects' everyone living outside of the UK to speak English. I don't. I really don't. However, many people do and I was just a little surprised that nobody did. More to the point perhaps is that I knew no Italian whatsoever - other than Ciao!

It felt like ages that I lay in that bed, more bloods taken, blood pressure checked constantly and being moved from one area to another area. I was desperate to contact someone. I managed to communicate with one nurse who understood, and she asked for a number she could ring. I didn't know Lee's number and the only number I could remember was my own. I gave her that number assuming that Lee or Mary will have picked up my bag from the beach. She rang, no answer. She rang again no answer. I realised I think I had left my phone switched off. Grrrrrrr. 

I was then moved to a bigger open ward and placed in a cubicle with the curtains left open. My desperation to make contact with someone was growing stronger and stronger. I felt so alone. I hadn't cried at all, but I needed to speak to someone. It must have been visiting time in the ward as people, probably relatives, were entering and visiting people in the ward. As people passed I shouted out to them 'Excuse me, can you help'. Every one of them looked at me like I was nuts. After all, there I was with nothing but a bather on, talking in a foreign language holding my hand out to people. 

I needed a better plan. In the middle of the ward was a big circular desk rather than a reception area with staff inside the circular area. Nurses and doctors came and went checking records and asking staff to check computers. I called out to a nurse who came to my bedside. I somehow communicated that I needed a phone. Bingo she understood and brought her phone over. As I couldn't remember anyone's phone number, I needed another way to contact, and I thought of Facebook. I now needed to explain that I needed the Facebook app. I took the phone from her and saw the Facebook app - Thank God. I pointed to it saying I needed to use that. Again she understood, Hallelujah. She opened it up and passed the phone to me. She left me with the phone as she went back to her business. Thank God, as it was going to take me some time to try and make contact. 

My knowledge of the specific intricacies of Facebook was not, and still is not, great. Next hurdle, the whole thing is in Italian. FFS ! OK, think this through bit by bit. So I believed that I couldn't send anyone a message unless you were 'friends' with them. So I managed to find, eventually (even that took time) a number of my family members and sent a friend request. I was still logged into the Nurses account. I had considered logging out and relogging in as myself but I knew I couldn't remember my password and the whole app was in Italian, so I didn't even know what the buttons meant! I knew that somewhere in the phone I could change the settings to the English Language from Italian but needed to understand the buttons before I could do that! So I thought the next best option was to friend request my family members on her account. I had hoped they might make the connection with an Italian name, and me being in Italy and may press accept simply to clarify who it was and then I could connect with them. 

None of them responded. I later found out that most, like my sister, told me, saw this friend request from a foreign person, assumed it was a nutter and pressed the 'Delete' button. At the time I could have cried, but in hindsight, I now find this hilarious and still have a good laugh at that whole scenario. I am in a desperate situation and very much traumatised. Despite this, I'm looking for ways to connect with family and come up with solutions only to have them dashed by them pressing 'Delete' I have laughed so many times over the past 2 years about this. 

I'm usually a fighter and I don't give up. I have a strong life mantra, and that is 'There's always a solution' to achieve what you need and want.' and I wasn't about to give up. As I sat pondering my next move and my breathing had started to improve slightly, I thought of landline numbers. Which ones did I know? Just mine and Mary's. Mary was here in Sicily !!! I didn't even know my Mam's landline number, I'm sure it had recently changed too. Everyone else I contacted by mobile and didn't know their numbers from the top of my head. Grrrrr 

As I started to feel disheartened, I heard a familiar voice. 'I'm looking for Michelle Sheridan' and I immediately looked up and saw Lee and Mary. I shouted over to them at the reception area and they turned and came straight to the bed. From nowhere came floods of tears. I couldn't believe it. It just felt like a weight lifted. I then learned how Lee and Mary had spent the last hour in the hospital trying to find me, being passed from one place to another. Lee told me how my arm and lips were blue when I was dragged out of the water. Although he had been covered in blood from cuts all over his hand's arms, legs and feet, nobody had taken any notice of him. 

I don't actually have much memory after that at all. What I did later learn was that as I had left in the helicopter, Lee and Mary headed straight back to the car. Lee needed to contact the Insurance Company to get himself put on the insurance. He needed his driving licence number. He didn't have his licence on him. He managed to ring a colleague at work who was able to retrieve his licence from his locker and send him a pic of it. Great. The insurance company did not make things easy from what I understand and in the end, Lee lost his temper with them. Before he could get put on the insurance, he drove without insurance. Eventually, the insurance was sorted. He said that the drive to and from the hospital each day after that was a challenge. It was the driving in Catania City Centre that was a nightmare. 

What I do remember is then being settled into a room with two other ladies. It was a much smaller ward than before. 

During the course of the next 4 days, I was constantly monitored, my breathing improved to normal. Discussion took place with Doctors who visited me at my bedside. Lee had been in touch with Ricci who spoke to Doctors and acted as an interpreter for us especially concerning medical matters. Ricci was annoyed that no lifeguards had been on the beach or that there had been no warning flags out. Ricci assured us that this was quite unusual in his own experience. On other occasions, we used our phones with Google translate to communicate lots of information to and from Doctors. It was actually very effective. 

On the first night, I was in hospital Lee and Mary decided to stay in a local hotel. It would mean they didn't have a long way to go back home and they could go out for a meal and drink to try and chill out. However, they weren't allowed to book into any hotel without their passports, and they didn't have them with them. So they went back home, but I understood they both had more than a skinful of drink on that night when they got home. 

A female priest visited our room twice when I was there to give communion to the two ladies I shared the room with. She seemed very pleased to hear I was Roman Catholic and whilst I do not practice, I decided to take Communion anyway. I said the prayers in English whilst they said them in Italian. I think they were all strangely impressed, their nodding smiles of approval were obvious. 

Then day 4 (or maybe 5) I was discharged. Ricci, I am sure had been concerned that our holiday had been ruined by this but actually it hadn't. Certainly, it had been traumatic and Lee, still to this day, has flashbacks. Sometimes I can feel a sudden panic if watching rough sea scenes in films etc but on the whole, I'm fine. In fact, when I started to read this out to Lee for his thoughts, he had to stop me at the point when we had been on the rocks. He couldn't listen any more. He has real traumatic memories of it all. The rest of the holiday went really well and I was determined to go back into the sea which I did on a day when the sea was very calm. In fact, I think I recall it was Father's Dad. We both went in but didn't go deeper than our waist but went in fully including heads under. I wanted to be sure I had no fear of the sea, as I love being in the water and I was fine. 

Sicily is a beautiful country in every way. I would definitely go back and hope one day I will. For anyone who has read this far, then take from it what you wish but know that heroes come in many shapes and forms and sometimes from nowhere when you most need them. Rarely do they get the thanks and recognition they deserve. When you think the worst is over, sometimes it isn't. One thing that helps us through is people who choose to support and help, sometimes in obvious ways and sometimes in not so obvious ways. 

Know that the power of the sea is immense and unpredictable. Sit beside large crowds of people on beaches not in isolation away from the crowds. Note if there are lifeguards and look out for warning flags. Follow your instinct and remember the funny times. I'll never forget how my family clicked on Delete without a second thought when I needed them so badly. LOL

Written by Michelle Sheridan, one of the kindest, strongest and most thoughtful ladies I have the pleasure of knowing.