man I feel worn out...

As the title to this particular blog post states "man I feel worn out". It's not just a case of being or feeling tired, nope I just feel completely fatigued and no amount of sleep appears to do the trick. I go to sleep at a reasonable hour and awake feeling wrecked. 

As I have viewed my blog seeing if anything needs tweaking or I can add anything interesting I noticed my blog posts had dwindled over the last couple of years. I mean it's not just a case of not having anything interesting to write, as there is always something or other to tell you. I mean isn't that the whole point of a blog, allowing people snippets of your life, or I guess in some peoples cases "their whole life"...."Today I ate a Jaffa Cake" sort of thing.  No I can see a down turn, both in my interest to write about my adventures and also in how I have been feeling. Basically things have just not felt great since having chemotherapy back in 2015. 

Now as far as chemo goes, the 6 months treatment I had whilst I was on a drug called bendamustine was not too bad. This particular drug, meant I had no hair loss and apart from a dicky tummy now and again I was pretty much ok. I mean my bloods did drop to 0.5 at one point and I became neutropenic, which basically means I was very susceptible to infection as I had a real low immunity, however I did not catch any nasty bugs, meaning I did not require any hospital over nights stays to be monitored.


The combination of bendamustine and rituximab has been very successful, as my non Hodgkin's lymphoma appears under control and the horrible large nodes I had in my neck have shrunk right down.


Following the chemotherapy I was informed I would get 2 years treatment of the rituximab, this is called a maintenance dose. The treatments are supposed to be given every 2 months. Unfortunately I have been experiencing some issues and this can really only be put down to the rituximab. Things like a low white blood cell count, more infections and picking up bugs easily and the biggest one to date for me this lingering feeling of fatigue and just not wanting to do anything.

It has taken me ages and I mean ages to put my finger on why I have been feeling so crap. I mean most people think "Yeah I will feel shit during, then after my chemo, but give it a few months and once I am in remission I will start to feel a lot better". Yeah I thought this, so to be 2 years on more or less following my chemo, well I just thought "Glenn, you are a right lazy sod, who needs a kick up the arse"...."Come on pull yourself together".

Anyhoo after going in to work today and feeling absolutely wrecked and asking if I could take a half days annual leave. I came home and researched the drug rituximab. My findings are from the Cancer Research UK site and you can follow the link if interested. The top 3 common side effects I have had, which are feeling sick, being at a higher risk of getting an infection. I have had a terrible couple of years picking up stuff and the biggest one for me fatigue and tiredness.

I now kind of realise that may be I shouldn't be so hard on myself, as it just piles on additional stress. I have just had my treatment on the 7th December. I will now wait 3 months before my next one which I am pleased to say will be the end of my course of treatments. There have been a few delays so I have crept into my 3rd year. From there I hope I will start to get my Mojo back, recover my strength and start living again.

Never sure who reads my blog, but hope anyone reading this who may be going through the same thing can take something interesting or informative from the information.