Watch & Wait

 It has been 13 years since I was first diagnosed with Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma. I can remember clearly when it first kind of started. It was upon a ride out with my friend Carl, and coming up through Beamish and No Place. I just was not feeling quite right and at the time had terrible stomach cramps. Strangely enough these cramps would come and go, however upon each episode they got increasingly worse.

Anyhoo Carl and I had been on a day out riding up at Kielder Forest, we had had a brilliant day however at some point I had snapped the bottom bracket of my brand-new carbon fibre bike. So upon our return I had contacted the bike retailer,  Stiff who were based down Leeds way. My dad and I took the bike back to Stiff and upon inspection they agreed that the frame would be replaced under warranty, however I would have to wait around 6 weeks for a replacement from the USA.

Back in 2008 and being silly

Great memories of a day at Kielder

 

After roughly 6 weeks, my bike was back together with a new frame and my dad and I went down to pick her up. This is the part where I can recall feeling proper poorly and knowing something just wasn't right. I was doubled up in our car with the most horrible stomach pain, on the return journey, so once near home, my dad took me straight to A & E at the Queen Elizabeth in Gateshead. I had had my leg off there in the September of 2007, so we thought going there was probably better than going to Dryburn at Durham, which would have been my local hospital.

After spending hours at the QE and being poked and prodded, and very friendly doctor who had examined me came in and informed me he had discovered an unusual lymph node in my neck. It was near my collarbone on the Left. He advised he would be making an appointment for me to see a consultant near home, so Durham, and that they would take it from there.

A few weeks later, I met a friendly consultant called Dr Keenan. What I liked about her was not only her voice, as she sounded a little like Mrs Doubtfire, but her candid approach. Dr Keenan said to me "I have some good news, and some bad news"... "Oh here we go I" thought. "So, what is the bad news?" I enquired to which she replied "Oh, you have cancer". "So, what is the good news?" I asked. "Oh, it is the best one you can get". This left me a little perplexed, however as I look back on it now I just kind of thought "Huh Ok".

In 2015, I had to undergo chemotherapy, which to be fair wasn't too bad compared to some poor folk. The worst bit was the additional antibody therapy, which totally had me wrecked and lasted almost 3 years.

As time went on I was armed with information and supported through the Non Hodgkin's, the consultant and specialist nurses always on hand if I needed someone to talk too. I think the hardest thing to deal with and this is where I am leading with this particular post is the "Watch & Wait". I find it very difficult to deal with this and at times don't particularly know what I am waiting for.

I am very good at going each day without ever thinking of this thing attacking my body. I have a dark sense of humour, so find it ironic that even my own cells don't like me LoL and from what I know that is what cancer cells are. I have heard them called "eternal cells" as unlike normal cells they don't die off, they just duplicate and spread.

So to last week, upon getting up on Wednesday morning I had an upset tummy. I went to work, however as the morning went on I felt increasingly unwell with an upset stomach, and I was sweating and felt all clammy. The girls at work are all very supportive and immediately noticed I didn't look good so were fussing around, checking my obs, opening windows and popping a fan on. I then became freezing cold and just thought I had some sort of bug. I booked a Covid test and then went home, having booked the test for 1 PM down at Chester -Le- Street.

Anyhoo the test came back negative, however I haven't felt well all week and this is that part of Watch & Wait I hate. Once I am feeling unwell with my tummy, it always brings back memories of that first time riding up through Beamish and the start of that period of my life and well it sucks.

After speaking to a G.P over the phone, although he was very kind, supportive and friendly, it has still left me not knowing exactly what is going on. The doctor came up with a few thoughts, yes it could possibly be a flare up of my Non Hodgkin's, however I don't really have any other symptoms. It could be a bout of gastroenteritis, or after the doc read my notes, he thought it could be stress & anxiety.

It has been hard going back to work after 9 months of lockdown, however I don't feel particularly stressed, but hey that is the thing with stress and mental health it can kind of sneak up on you. Sometimes you can ask yourself the question and your mind lies to you, however your body reacts in a different way. I will admit, a good few months ago I was going through a low period, however using some strategies like being kind to myself, meditation and exercise buoyed me again, and have kept me afloat. Of course, I am still a little down that I keep seeing "dream houses" in Scotland and know in a perfect world where I would be and what I would be doing. I enjoy this imagining, it can take me away and well if something does come about I will already be prepared and have a plan of action.

Going back to feeling like crap, I decided to test myself today and have a ride out with my friend John. I figured if I could get a few miles in and feel relatively ok I would be ok for work on Sunday. We rode a local loop of just over 12 miles down Beamish. I was quite impressed with myself as I didn't use any power all the way up the farmer's trail and actually for a fair amount of other sections. The turbo trainer is continuing to give me a good workout. I have been switching the resistance level up just to make things interesting.

And so as I write this, almost finished, I continue to have a dicky tummy and not feel 100%. I guess time will tell what is up.

I'll leave you with a few pics from today. I have put them at the end as I can't be arsed to slot them in to my story, Lol

Ok off to dream about a cottage I have seen in Argyllshire...

Just making it up as I ride along.

 I awoke pretty early this morning, for some reason it's a regular occurrence these days, however I didn't get up immediately and lay contemplating should I go for a ride and if so where to. I feel sometimes I don't head out as it's just the same old, same old, and I get bored with the routes. I mean, I have been riding since around 2008 and pretty much know everywhere fairly local.

Anyhoo I finally convinced myself to just get up and go and make it up as I went depending on how tired or socket sore I got. I took my Specialized Turbo, figuring if I got a bit fed up from home, I could just take it easy and switch to Turbo mode.

It didn't take long to get sorted, once I had reattached my Cams and Tendons to  my BTK Crossover knee. I filled my Arctic ONE bottle with some fresh water from the fridge and transferred some gear from my backpack to my Camelbak "Fanny Pack". When possible I prefer to use the small fanny pack as it is light and easy to just turn around whilst still fastened to access stuff.

I got my bike out, switched it on and connected it to my phone, and then I was off in no particular direction.

"Ooh the farmer's trail, it's been a while since I have ridden up there", I thought, my bike didn't appear fussed which direction we were going, so we headed for the trail.

Up the resurfaced Farmer's Trail

Down the Farmer's Trail to pick up my camera

As I approached the farmer's trail, I could see that it had been resurfaced, not with tarmac, but with hardcore and gravel. It actually made the climb up a lot easier. I had my bike in Eco mode, and using about 15% assist. This means I still get a workout, it actually feels like I have both legs, so it wasn't long before I was halfway up the trail. I stopped halfway as I spotted two Alpacas in the field. I tried to coax them over, but they just gave me a funny look. I tried using my phone camera to take some pics, but as they were too far away the images were naff, way too blurry.

Lots of Bails in the fields

A little further up the Trail

I set off again and headed for No Place and then down to Beamish and the entrance to Beamish Museum. Here I took a couple of pics, before riding down the bank, past the Museums Farm and down towards Beamish Hall. Once near Beamish Hall, I turned to an off-road trail to my Right, which would take me into Beamish Woods. It is nice in this area, very pretty and quite quiet. I generally only come across the odd fellow cyclist or dog walkers.

At the entrance to Beamish Museum

Another stop for a few pictures on the way through the wood and at the pond, before setting off up the hill and the trail that would take me back onto the road that links up on the way to Sunnyside

Having a nightmare setting camera up

Clip In Damn You

Out the saddle

 

Arctic ONE Band

At the Pond

Me Bike

 

Again I used another trail after the road section I had been riding on and this took me towards Birkhead and eventually to Tanfield Railway. I then followed the railway line using the meandering trail to the side of the tracks.

Now at Sunnyside I stopped for a brief moment, trying to decide, should I head down the back of Watergate and visit Watergate Park, or cross over at Sunnyside and get on yet another farmer's trail which would lead me to Fell side Road, coming out at the Woodsman Arms. Decision made, another farmer's trail and Fell Side Road.

At the end of Fell side Road I turned Right and headed as it's going towards the Hobson, however turned off and tootled along going towards Tanfield Village. Once at Tanfield Village I rode up and through Sleepy Valley and at the cross roads, continued up into Tantobie. Some pretty good climbing there in that section. The only time I put my bike in Turbo mode was to get across the crossroads, as cars come pretty quick along there.

Once at Tantobie I took a little side road which led me down into Harperley. It's funny how things drop out of your head. I had been this way a few weeks back and as I rode through Harperley I then recalled where I had seen the caravan storage place. I knew I had seen one and was trying to describe it to one of my da friends, but just couldn't remember where I had seen it.

Harperley has changed so much, I have some fond memories of the park as a kid, hanging out with my friends.

Ooh another climb, up Harperley bank, again no cheating, my bike was left in Eco mode and I ground my way up the bank, coming out at The Ox Pub. I then rode towards Stanley and when I got to the Arch Traffic lights decided to venture down South Moor and just for fun and because I had a bit of energy go up the other side of South Moor and then Wilka's bank.

At the top of Wilka's I turned on to Wagtail Lane and had a nice little bimble along the road, towards Craghead. As I was riding, looking over at the fields, thoughts of Scotland pervaded my mind. They are never far away, these thoughts. I was imagining what it would be like to get to know a local area in Scotland and head out on adventures there. Then to return to my Scottish abode and relax in front of a log burning stove, and take in the picturesque view complete with a nearby loch. When it comes to Scotland I have such a vivid imagination, of what I would like to do, and how things would be.

I rode 18.5 miles today and considering I was in two mind whether to go out, I have to say I am pleased I did. On some occasions, I even switched the battery off on my bike, and this made me feel pretty good, knowing my fitness level is quite good. Even on the hills and banks, I didn't feel as if I was working all that hard, mind you I could hear my heart beat in my ears, so I must have been exerting myself somewhat.

Day 251 and a wee ride out.

 It's day 251 today. "Day 251 of what?", you may ask. Well of riding every day this year. Most of my riding has been done indoors on my turbo trainer, something that I just got into a habit of doing due to shielding during covid. I actually rode every day last year and this year decided to continue, however do it for a good cause, which is the Arctic ONE foundation. As I am no longer on social media I have not raised a great deal, but hey every little counts, and it has spurred me on to keep going on those days I just feel like lounging around.

If you would like to help me to support Arctic ONE that would be great

Virgin Money Giving Link

Oh! And for some reason I also decided to start doing crunch sit-ups and this has now become somewhat of a further challenge as each month I increase them by 50 each day. Last month I completed 11200 for the month, having added some extra ones when I was bored or felt particularly full of energy and this month I am already up to 3200, that is 400 per day.

I have now convinced myself I quite enjoy exercising, so came up with the bright idea of buying a gym ball. I opted for a 65 cm version. My thinking was, as I didn't have enough room in my bedroom for a weights bench, I could do some gym ball exercises in combination with my dumbbells. Wow! What was I thinking? Obviously I wasn't as the exercises are so hard to do as an above knee amputee.

I have been trying to do a variety of exercises which include crunch sit-ups, a chest press and triceps curls. I'm just pleased no one has seen me in my efforts as I'm wobbling all over the shop and swearing at this stupid leg, or lack of it depending on which way you look at it. It's just so hard to maintain my balance. I do have to say though I'm quite proud of myself and have persevered and finally feel I am improving. It's amazing just how introducing a gym ball into a workout routine can really make you feel muscles you had forgotten about, it's brilliant for core stability. Saying which, it didn't stop me falling off my bike today over at Kya Bogs Lol.

So back to today. I had a ride out with my buddy John, as he has been getting a new bike. It's an Orange Clockwork Evo 29'er and a nice bit of kit. We just played it by ear with no real direction in mind, however John kind of knows I love just tootling around Chapman's Wells, as well it's just so quiet and not many people there, so it was pretty inevitable we would end up there.

John and his new steed

I can spend hours alone over there on my bike, with my Mp3 playing, and just doing loops of the nature reserve. 

I decided to take my Silverback Synergy Fat Bike on today's outing and have to say how surprised I was at my overall fitness, the turbo trainer must be keeping me in some sort of shape. Durham Road is quite a steep bank and I "granny geared" up no worries.

When John and I got over to Langley View after riding up the Black Path at South Moor, we headed down as if going towards The Drift at Quakies, however turned off into the field behind the houses. 

I decided to take a few pics, and it was at this point John spotted the plastic guard on his cassette. "I hate the look of those things" he said, so set about trying to remove it. It turned out to be a right fanny on and in the end I had to whip out my trusty £1 utility tool and try sawing, cutting and pliering off the surround. For a quid that little tool has been spot on I even think it has a thing for removing stones out of horses hooves LoL.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anyhoo we had a lovely ride out in the beautiful sunshine, it was well worth popping in  a days annual leave. 

I will leave you with more pics from today...

 

Setting up the Camera