Those unexpected Moments !

 There you are just going through life, nothing appears to be going your way, things appearing to be static, mundane, boring and nothing to really look forward to, then all of a sudden in a heart beat whilst you are lying on your bed feeling sorry for yourself, you get a WhatsApp message. As I reached for my glasses in order to pick up my phone and see who had contacted me, I saw that it was my friend Dragos, with a somewhat cryptic clue... 

  

Love & Hope International Film Festival

"Looks like you are Practicing your Spanish".

Huh!  

This was then followed with two images and a brief explanation that Dragos had posted on Facebook. 

As I read Dragos's messages it became clear that we had been officially selected to take part in the Love & Hope International Film Festival in Barcelona... Wow !

This was for the short documentary Dragos had shot, which portrayed part of my journey from taking ill in 1995 to overcoming some tough times and rediscovering my passion for cycling.

Once the excitement of the news wore off a little I immediately set about stressing. Why you may ask. Well if you follow my blog and stories you will know that of late I have been rather unwell. I have now been off work for going on 4 months, with a horrible disease called ulcerative colitis. I have only just been diagnosed and I am currently on treatment. 

So my stressing started when Dragos asked " Have you got your passport"?

"Omg! Dragos actually would like me to attend the event in person" and spend sometime with him and other members of the team who made the film, as well as all the people who would attend the festival.

 

Love & Hope International Film Festival

I informed Dragos "No I hadn't gotten around to sorting my passport", as we had discussed this months earlier, explaining I had taken unexpectedly ill. That said now that the treatment had kind of improved my symptoms I could look into getting my passport sorted. Dragos sent me a link to a dot Gov website to get my passport done urgently. I had a quick Scooby at the website then got off my bed, went and had a shower and a shave and tidied myself up. I then went immediately up to my local Post Office in Stanley to see if I could get a Passport sorted there quickly.

At the Post Office the staff were amazing, so very helpful. I explained the situation and was informed that if I got the passport done at the Post Office there would be no guarantee that the passport would arrive in time ( It had to arrive before the 17th September). I discussed the info I had read on the government website and the Post Mistress explained there was a Passport office in Durham and that I could make an appointment with it online  to receive an urgent passport.

I asked would it be possible to have my identification photos taken at the Post Office, just I didn't want to risk taking them myself, and them not being approved. Again the staff were ever so helpful and did all the selection and button pressing of the Photo Booth machine. Thank god they were there as there was no way I could have done it myself, I am blind as a bat without my gigs on and after removing them I couldn't read any of the instructions and prompts. There was a little bit of a stressful moment as the photo machine wouldn't accept payment in coins, however it eventually accepted two £5 notes. Job done.

I returned home and began my application which was pretty straight forward. The passport cost just over £207 and I now have an appointment to attend the Passport office at Durham, I should then receive my passport one week later.

Following this I wanted to give my manager at work a ring. Again stress getting the better of me. I mean here I was in my mind planning a trip away, yet I was and have been on the sick for around 4 months. When I spoke to my manager she was very supportive asI explained my situation, letting her know that I would be returning to work before I planned to head off to Spain, asking would it be okay to put some Annual Leave in for the days off. There is no way I would have sneaked off on a quick holiday or get away whilst on the sick.

It's funny how my mam springs to mind whenever I am not feeling well. You see my mam was old school. When I was a child if I was sick and off school  I was not allowed to go out and play. That was the rule and that rule has lived with me right until this day. So now that I am off work, regardless of what aliment I have I only ever go out unless it is absolutely necessary, like for hospital or doctor appointments. If you are too ill to goto work, you are too ill to be socialising or doing anything that involves being out and about rings in my ears in my mothers voice.

After speaking to my manager I felt a lot more relaxed not just about the trip, but also about moving forward in my return to work.

Next I got back in touch with Dragos with a quick message, Dragos then rang me and we had a back and forth conversation. From here things moved really quickly and before I knew it Dragos had arranged dates, booked flights and very kindly paid for them. I have to say I felt guilty about not paying my way. I am not used to such generosity and from day one of meeting Dragos he hasn't asked anything of me other than friendship and the opportunity to promote his work, which I am only to happy to do.

We now had an itinerary and plans for my visit to Spain, this involved Dragos meeting me once the plane landed in Alicante, driving to his villa in Valencia, a few days there, then a 3 hour drive to Barcelona for the film festival and time permitting some mountain bike riding back in Valencia, before flying back home. A lot to fill in in 4 to 5 days.

I am not well travelled, my last and only trip away was when I went to America, way back in 2013. This was an epic 3 week adventure where I had to wear my big boy pants and it really gave me a sense of independence and adventure, and now all these years later I have another opportunity, which I am both most grateful and feel very fortunate for.

Loosing my leg was a huge blow to me, however in hindsight in some bizarre and highly weird way it has been a ludriciously positive turn of events. I can honestly say if I had my own two legs I probably would never have travelled, and upon my life journey I would not have met some of the most amazing, friendly and supportive people around the world, who have gone on to inspire me.

I will make sure to blog of events upon my return, hopefully with some interesting pictures.

I now kind of have a diagnosis!

Following on from some of my previous blogs about having to go into hospital for some investigations, well I now have a kind of diagnosis, which is on the one hand a relief , whilst upon the other it's like, (and please excuse the language),  it's just this is real life, " fucking hell man, how much more do I have to go through".

I have been off work now since May the 5th, it all started probably way before May if I am honest, however I thought I had just picked up a bug, and as things got worse, maybe possibly a Clostridium difficile infection, known as C.diff.

I won't go into the gory details, however diarrhoea, terrible tummy cramps, back pain, confusion, headaches, joint pain and even itchy eyes, along with a sense of being really fatigued and irritable.

Whilst visiting my G.P surgery I was given a weeks course of antibiotics, which didn't work at all and then when I returned I had to give various bodily fluids and samples and it was the poo samples that came back with irregularities.

My first colonoscopy was a fail, put down to poor prep. I swear I tried to drink as much of the vile laxative drink, Omg! it was disgusting, far worse than the first procedure itself, where yes I chose to be somewhat sedated. I mean who wants to be aware of a camera being shoved up your hoop.

As I awaited a second colonoscopy appointment I was becoming increasingly concerned, about my symptoms and as we all do turned to Google., though I do have to say I did NOT visit misinformation sites, sticking more to NHS verified sites.

Obviously the scary scenario I had in my head was that I would require surgery and have to have a colonoscopy and wear a stoma bag.

The first colonoscopy that wasn't successful I was informed that the results looked like I had Colitis. The second colonoscopy which was a little more uncomfortable and painful confirmed I had ulcerative colitis.

Moving ahead an appointment was made at the Inflammatory Bowel Disease Clinic where I saw a really friendly and supportive speciality nurse. This appointment was probably one of the longest one to one appointments I have ever had in my whole time as a patient, and I got to ask lots of questions and garner a lot of information in moving forward. One of the first things the nurse did when she met me was reassure me in kind words, something along the lines of "Glenn we will help you to deal with this and with treatment you will start feeling much better".

As my blog title says "I kind of have a diagnosis". You see although what I have is classed as Inflammatory Bowel Disease, which stems from something going wrong with my auto-immune system and then my body attacking itself, as for the Ulcerative Colitis diagnosis the consultants report was a little ambiguous. During the investigation it appeared I was mainly inflamed in a certain area and not as expected throughout. All I understand is it has made me feel miserable and I don't normally ask the question "why me" when various health issues have occur din the past, however this time around it has really got to me, so I have been internalising with a lot of swearing "WTF!". In my head I have put two and two together and blame all the horrible medications and treatments I have had over the years which have seriously affected my immune system. Anyhoo no good dwelling it is what it is.

As the appointment went on the nurse provided me with a website that the NHS recommend which is crohnsandcolitis.org.uk which is a very useful and informative site and saves me going through what Crohns and Ulcerative Colitis actually are.

I have now been placed on 2 months of steroids and tablets which I believe are for calcium. The steroids are called Prednisolone and the nurse informed me they can come with some side effects and that I must not stop taking them and make sure I finish the complete course.

Upon taking the steroids, within a couple of days they had really helped and this was such a relief. I have experienced some minor side effects, well unless its all in my head and psychosomatic I just cannot sleep, even though I am taking the medication around 7 am each day, and today, day 6 of taking the meds I am experiencing some low mood. This could be of course as I am bored out of my tree, still not feeling 100 % and missing going out on my bikes, especially as i now have my new Bartlett Tendon knee which I haven't even taken out of its protective box. Add the fact I have lost weight due to being ill so my prosthetic leg is not fitting great again.

Anyhoo the main reason for this somewhat personal blog is to not only tell my story, but to also maybe reassure anyone going through this horrible disease that it is good to talk about it and take support from where you can, in helping deal with it.

For me I have learnt I now have this for life and that it can be controlled through medication and that possibly I may have flare ups in the future once this flare up is settled. As with my Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma, it is no good putting my life on hold, everyday is a new one and it's better to live in the moment rather than worrying what is ahead.

Its always bloody wheel fitment I have a nightmare with!

My dad and I have finally got my new wheels sorted on my wee Abarth 124 Spider.

I bought the new OZ wheels around about a year ago believe it or not, and have only just got around to fitting them, this has a great deal to do with the awful weather we had from last year, leading into this year what with all the rain and salt on the roads. Plus at the same time I had a set of Yellow Speed Racing coil overs to go on my car and wanted these fitting first.

As Bodyworx had done such a good job on both my VW Beetle, installing new springs and in doing the tracking I asked would they be able to fit the coil overs and then align the Abarth. The whole job was carried out for what I thought was a very reasonable price £200.

Abarth 124 Spider lowered

When I went to pick up my car Kelvin one of the mechanics explained that the front wheels were very and I mean very close to the front Brembo callipers. When he said close and we inspected it, you couldn't even get a credit card between the rim and the calliper.

Wheelbase Alloys who had supplied the wheels assured me the correct offset would be sent out and looking at the invoice the offset did match the standard wheels as I recall, something like an offset of 42. Thing is I think a more negative offset say 35 would have been a better option. Too late to send the wheels back, we had to look at other options and this was wheel spacers.


So upon reading up what other people were fitting I decided to purchase a set of H&R 18 mm TRAK spacers, I then recalled putting lower profile tyres on my car and larger 18 inch rims, the standard rims being 17's.I also opted for for 215 tyres instead of the standard 205's so started panicking that the 18 mm would be too wide and I would have to mess around with the camber on my car to prevent any rubbing. So I returned the 18 mm spacers and ordered some H&R 9mm hub centric spacers. These came with what they call shank or shaft nuts which allow the nuts to be put on to the standard wheel studs allowing more turns.

As I recall I could get about 7 to 8 turns using the provided Shank/Shaft nuts, however I could only get about 4 1/2 turns when using my tuner nuts.

  

Shaft Shank Nuts

   

H&R 9 mm wheel spacers, with incorrect studs

Well this is where more problems began. I did some online research on the Abarth 124 forums to try and find out info on extended wheel studs and the correct fitment, so length, thread pitch and spline size. Long story short after ordering various wheel studs on 3 separate occasions, ranging from 47mm to 63 mm they all came with the incorrect spline size of 13.1 mm. All the forums I visited definitely said the spline size was 13.1, simply not true. This size won't even fit past the shoulder of the stud into the hub.

My dad used a micrometre and after much searching we discovered Demon Tweeks had some  "Hub Buddies Mazda Wheel Stud 12.82mm Spline Diameter 73mm Long Under Head Rear/Front", so I ordered 16 x of these and when they arrived we cautiously cut one stud down to around 51mm so that it would fit without removing the rear hub and gently pulled it into the hub. We then test fitted a wheel with the disc back on and the H&R spacer fitted and managed to get 10 turns on the tuner nut.

Following this my dad cut all the wheel studs to 51mm and we used a burr tool from Machine Mart to finish off the end of the stud threads.

  

Hub Buddies 12.82 spline 73mm long M12 x 1.5

I am now pleased to say my new wheels are fitted and look great with no catching or rubbing issues and my car is sitting pretty.

Studs pulled in an cut to length plus burred ends

Only one other thing that has really pissed me off whilst my car has been in the back yard with our gates closed, whilst awaiting getting sorted, my bonnet has been dented yet again in exactly the same place as last time, so that will be another £120 to get it sorted.


Once I am back to work I will restart saving as I have other mods planned, just at the moment I am having to try and work around this poxy illness I have been diagnosed with and its been difficult and really debilitating, Anyhoo that's another story.

Hopefully get out soon and get some shots of the wee Abarth to post when I get her cleaned and dent free.

Sold, Protected, Broke, and to Fit.

 This week I have sold my Coast Cycles Buzzraw, retro bike. I loved the wee bike, it was just a little too small for me to get comfy on, partly due to my prosthetic knee. 

I took a major loss on the bike, but hey no good it just sitting in my shed not getting used, especially as I needed the money for other projects. So that is the Sold part of my blog.

 

Bye Bye little Buzzraw

Protected... This is in relation to my purchasing some Lanoguard to apply to the underside of my Abarth 124 Spider and to my beloved Beetle, Grandma. Following getting Grandma M.O.T'd and the mechanic commenting on her showing signs of corrosion, he suggested I get some protective coating applied. So I went out and bought a 5 litre kit of Lanoguard. I was intending on doing the job myself, however with feeling pants I decided to ring around and see if anyone would do the job. I eventually discovered a local body shop called Bodyworx, which is in Consett and the price I was quoted was very reasonable...

Firstly I dropped my Abarth off at Bodyworx, and then I took Grandma up. As I drove Grandma up to the Bodyshop/garage the little noise that has been there for over a year, had now turned into a rather loud clunk. I couldn't understand why she was making so much noise, as I haven't driven Grandma in months.

 

VW Beetle GSR Grandma

Anyhoo I asked Michael at Bodyworx if he wouldn't mind investigating the problem, as he was going to have the car up on the lift to jet wash and clean the underside. 

Upon calling Michael the following day he informed me Grandma had   informed a broken driver side front spring. Great!!!

I had a bit of a chew on trying to find out what springs to replace the broken one with, as Grandma is running KW Variant 2 coilers, and these were supplied and fitted down at BTG Performance who have since gone bust. I discovered no one down at BTG had completed the provided info card that came with the KW kit, like the product code, date of purchase etc. I  had found the receipt from BTG, however there was no part reference code on this. So in the end I had to call KW Suspension and I was advised where to look on the dampers for a part identity number.

You can just see the part number in an old pic

Long story short I have just bought two new front springs £152 including postage. Michael has agreed to fit them and laser align the car again, so there is the Fit bit.

 

Must get Lola my wee Abarth 124 Spider sorted next

Also another Fit is the coilovers and OZ alloy wheels I have waiting to go on the Abarth. I must have had these parts about a year, just sitting under our stairs. I kind of bought them as the weather was bad, so that is my excuse for not having them fitted, well that and money, as it will be around £800 to get the coilovers fitted I suspect, and then have the car aligned.

Shout out to Bodyworx, it's the first time I have used their services and very happy with the work they carried out, and the very reasonable quote.

Generation 3 Infinity Knee

 I have probably mentioned at some point that my old Generation2 Hybrid Crossover Knee that I use for cycling is about knackered.

Worn in the top mount

Proper clunking and the circlip keeps popping due to wear

A new knee, works out at about £7500 to £7800 by the time I got it shipped here and paid import duty/taxes. I am no longer supported by various people/companies/clinics, not because I have stopped riding, its just a sign of the times and what with me getting older I guess I am no longer seen as an inspiration or have anything to offer in order to promote stuff and get away with being supported. 

That said I don't want people to think this is a post whining on about not getting free support and meeting any prosthetic needs, far from it, I am eternally grateful to every single person, company, clinic and indeed charity/foundation that has helped me follow my passion. I can honestly say I probably would have given up long ago if I had not had these people in my corner.

Now it is time to I guess go it alone as it were. After considerable thought and saving like hell I have been able to get the funds together, not to buy a new Generation 3 Infinity Knee, but to purchase a refurbished knee.

This means I will be able to continue riding in all the various forms I enjoy, and once I get these health worries out of the way I have some plans to get out, do more bike packing, more adventures, more photography and videos and more creative content for my blog.

G3 Infinity Knee

I needed to sort this knee out as I really do need something to look to in the future. I have been so stressed this last 6 weeks as something just doesn't feel right with me. Even though I have been real poorly I have continued to cycle using my clunky worn out Bartlett Tendon Knee on my Turbo trainer. I have now been riding consecutive days for 4 years and 5 months. Generally only around 30 minutes per day, this year, however man it has been tough these last few weeks. I absolutely refuse to give in though, so here is to onwards and upwards.

Hopefully my new bike will be here in July and everything health wise sorted.

A Review of a Colonoscopy

 I thought as I review many other things here on my blog I may as well review and share my thoughts on having a colonoscopy. Hopefully anyone having to go through this procedure may find what I have to say informative and also it may, if you are like me a slight stress head, set your mind somewhat at ease.

So yesterday I had a colonoscopy. My G.P had booked me in for an urgent appointment, these are generally within a two week period.

I had been contacted with dietary instructions to prepare me for the procedure, so after reading them I pretty much starved myself for 2 days, only having 2 x small portions of scrambled eggs, oh and some Jelly Babies, however not the blackcurrant ones, as laid out in the instructions.

On Friday I had to go for a pre-op assessment and give a history, get told about the procedure and then I was given instructions about how to take the pre-procedure preparation. Basically these sachets marked A and B you have to mix in a litre of water and then drink approximately 250 ml every 15 to 30 mins. You then have to mix another batch a few hours later and follow the same instructions and drink that too. I managed to drink approximately 1800 ml, however I just couldn't finish the last glass, the stuff is fucking horrible and made me feel so nauseous. 

At first I thought " man this stuff isn't even working", however as my stomach started to cramp, the stuff began to work. I thought I was going to turn inside out. Following taking the stuff at approximately 15:30 PM I was up until past 4 AM and felt decidedly dodgy. I awoke at around 7 AM and as soon as I had a drink, the stuff started working again with a vengeance, no poo just like having a wee out of my bottom.

I had an appointment through at Bishop Auckland for 10:45 AM so I couldn't have anything to eat of drink 2 hours before the procedure. I was feeling pretty worn out at this point and embarrassingly worried I might shit myself on the way to the hospital, well when I say shit myself I mean wet myself as OMG! there couldn't be any more crap up there.

Arriving at Bishop Auckland hospital I have to say that all the staff upon the ward were very friendly and professional. They immediately took care of me, a nurse getting details out the way and taking my blood pressure and weight, and explaining the whole procedure. I kind of tuned out when she had to explain the potential risks, as it was freaking me out. It's bad enough someone sticking something up your butt, without there being the potential for risks. The nurse then inserted a needle into my Right arm as I had opted for sedation.

I was offered sedation and you can bet your life I was going to take it. I am a pussy when it comes to these sort of procedures, so I wanted to be out of it as much as possible. The nurse explained that I would be awake throughout the procedure, however relaxed. My heart sank at this point, I thought I would be knocked out. "Man up I told myself"

I was then led to the changing room to get changed out of my clothes and directed to put on these huge blue shorts with a flap at the back to gain entry to my ass, and 2 gowns, one to be worn forward the other to the back. Once this was done I was then taken to the waiting room.

This bit was awful and I could feel myself getting "panicky", with all the this stuff going around in my head. My internal voice firstly coming up with negative scenarios and then to be countered by positives. The negatives were winning at this point and I even had thoughts of just saying "Nope I don't want to do this", standing up grabbing my gear and just going home.

Finally it was my turn, another friendly nurse came along introduced herself and took me along to the room where the procedure was to be carried out. Upon entering the room there were two endoscopists, both of whom introduced themselves and then went over my personal information. One of the Endoscopists asked was I having sedation ?, and whether I had ever had one of these procedures before. I stated Yes I was and No I hadn't, she then asked me how I was feeling. I was honest and told her "Stressed". The endoscopist was very supportive and showed great empathy and reassured me which helped a lot.

I had been invited to sit on the edge of the bed and take off my shoes, well shoe from my Left foot and I then popped off my prosthetic leg. I was prompted to lay on my Left side in a sort of fetal position and  I was provided with oxygen via a nasal cannula. One of the endoscopists then connected the cannula in my arm and I was given a sedative.

Whilst the sedative didn't knock me out it did really relax me. I was also given the opportunity to use some gas\air and encouraged to use this. The Endoscopist then began the procedure, which whilst uncomfortable particularly when she had to inflate my bowel with some air and then use what felt like a mini jet wash to try and flush the area. It felt no worse than having what I would describe as a slight swelling, or bloated feeling, a bit like having a stitch. It didn't last long and truth be known the procedure was not half as bad as my imagination had conjured up.

In the past I have had a couple of Endoscopy's, the first I opted for no sedation and it was horrendous, like someone shoving a garden hose down my throat, something I would never do again. The second endoscopy I had I opted for sedation and I didn't know anything about it until and nurse woke me up with tea and biscuits.

Following the colonoscopy I was taken on the trolley I had been lying on to the recovery area. I was invited to have a cup of tea and a snack, however I just wanted a drink of water. I was there probably 20 to 30 minutes, then invited to get dressed.

Following getting dressed a nurse came over to discuss the colonoscopy results. Apparently the pre-prep horrible drink stuff had not cleared everything in my bowel so it was difficult to see all the way in. The results with what could be seen were that I have some areas of inflammation and the endoscopists said this could be colitis.

I now have to await a further appointment for another colonoscopy, this time having to complete an extended preparation, something I am dreading more than the camera up my ass. I just hope it doesn't taste or make me feel like that other stuff. I mean I know it's going to make me explode on the toilet, it was just that other stuff was so hard to get down. At least now I know what to expect and fingers crossed the news from the biopsies taken this time around, which take around  5 to 6 weeks to come back will be all good

A huge thank you to my dear old dad for running me around to appointments and being there. I know whenever I am poorly it takes its toll on him too.

So in ending, anyone going through this procedure I would say, it isn't as bad as you may think. The drink preparation is the worst part and obviously the waiting to find out results.

Just wondering ?

 Hey Hello there...

This is a just wondering kind of post, to actually try and find out if anyone actually enjoys reading my blog, plus I would like to try and find out why I rarely have comments posted. It's weird as just lately I have been finding that my Blog receives anywhere from a 1000 to 2000 views per week, however I don't receive any feedback good or bad lol.

A few months back I noticed something had changed in the format of my Blog. For some reason the subscription app was not working. Essentially what people used to be able to do was sign up to my blog and whenever I posted anything new they would get an email to notify them.

The app worked really well as it didn't include loads of spammy adverts and the such, just a simple email to your provided address and then you could choose to come visit or not.

I would also like to know your thoughts on the ads displayed on my Blog. I use a thing called AdSense and I often just set it to optimisation and run and experiment. I have noticed some of the ads can be quite annoying when I view my blog. 

Just to give you an idea I have only earned just over £26 quid in 12 years with Adsense running. I don't even think I have been paid out as you have to get to I think £60 a month, or something like that. I mean I would love to be earning from posting stuff, however it's not why I write and upload stuff. Its more of a hobby and a release at times, a place I can get things of my chest and allow me to reflect and hopefully help people along the way.

Anyhoo boring reading loads of text, and having no pics so I will end there, feel free to respond and give me some of your thoughts.

Cheers

Glenn

New Bike Cancelled - New Bike Ordered

After much thought I decided to cancel the new Cannondale Moterra SL which I ordered from Wheelbase down in Darlington. Reasoning, well whilst checking out more bike porn I saw that the new generation 3 Orbea Rise had been released.

The reason I had opted for the Cannondale was because it was classed as a SL or super light, with full power of 85nm, and I originally liked the design of the bike. I wasn't to sure about the new real skinny flex stays on the rear triangle and at the point of ordering the bike there was no range extender battery available, however for bang for the buck the bike appeared to come with some good gear.

Upon reading a few reviews almost all riders had said the bike was great for descending, however it wasn't as capable in twisty technical sections. This is to do with the rather steep head tube angle.

Anyhoo as the Orbea Rise is a tried and tested machine, that has just got better and better over the years and when reading the few reviews that have come out so far for the 2025 model I started researching the model a little more, then made the decision to contact Adam down at Wheelbase to ask his opinion and to see if 

A. I could cancel the Cannondale and B. Order an Orbea Rise and, find out the time frame for delivery.

Orbea Rise M10 LT

Adam informed me that if I didn't go for a MIO build, which is Orbea's personal customisation of the bike, in that you can choose various combinations of colours for the frame and decals, then a bike maybe available as early as July. Where as if I wanted a full custom paint scheme the bike probably wouldn't be available until around December.

Well it was a no brainer really as I had used the Orbea Mio custom app on my computer and actually specced the bike up as an all gloss Black with gold decals, and the bike I could obtain from the factory in July was a Cosmic Carbon with Golden Sand details.

Adam suggested when I had time to pop back through to Wheelbase and we could then go over the details of the bike, so that is what I did earlier this morning. Heading down to Darlington with my dad to Wheelbase.

Orbea Rise M10 LT

At the shop, Adam ran through the various options that could be added to the bike, things such as different brakes, shockers, tyres, the seat post and a whole host of other items, even a range extender battery. I enjoyed the visit and  the chat whilst at the shop, it took my mind off how unwell and stressed I have been feeling over this yet undiagnosed whatever it is going on with me over the last few weeks.

COLOUR
Cosmic Carbon View - Golden Sand (Gloss)
SIZE L

CONFIGURED COMPONENTS

RANGE EXTENDER 

Orbea Custom Range Extender 210Wh
SHOCK

Fox Float X Factory 2-Pos Adjust Evol LV Kashima custom tune 210x55mm

HANDLEBAR
OC Mountain Control MC10 Carbon, Rise 35, Width 800

STEM
OC Mountain Control MC11 Alu SL, 0º

BRAKES
Shimano XTR M9120 Hydraulic Disc

ROTORS
203mm Front /180mm Rear

REAR DERAILLEUR
Shimano XT M8100 SGS Shadow Plus

WHEELS
Oquo Mountain Control MC32TEAM

TYRES
Maxxis Assegai 2.50

SEAT POST
Fox Transfer Factory Kashima Dropper 31.6x541/210mm
SADDLE

Fizik Terra Ridon X5 145mm

DISPLAY
Shimano EN600 Cycle Computer

CRANK LENGTH       165 mm.
HANDLEBAR WIDTH 800 mm.

STEM LENGTH            40 mm. 

Having something to work towards and look forward to is something I really need at the moment. Imagining getting back out on my bike, taking photo's, maybe a few riding videos and doing a spot of bike packing and creating some new adventures and memories. All I ned to do now is sort out getting a new Bartlett Tendon Knee, as my old one is on its last legs...not sure if there is a pun in there somewhere.

A few people have suggested I try and crowdfund to help with the cost of a new prosthetic knee, something to think about I guess. I just think who is going to want to help me to essentially go out and play on a bike ?...

Man I feel so unwell !

You may ask yourself why I have written such a personal post, or why I feel the need to describe how I am feeling. I guess for me it is quite cathartic, and who knows the information may help someone else. I have included links to the NHS web pages giving info on Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma and Celiacs Disease, as they are quite useful. My advice for anyone suffering from something is visit your G.P and don't go Googling stuff that will scare the Bejeebas out of you, only use trusted pages. Self diagnosis is never good.

Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma.

Celiacs Disease Information.

So I have been feeling really unwell for I would say just over a month. It started with feelings of just being tired, with low mood, highly irritable and with lots of brain fog. I had a little bit of weight loss, which was no big deal as I had been trying to exercise and lose my love handles anyways.

Truth be told I never really gave these symptoms a second thought, just putting it down to old age and day to day life, you know how sometimes we can all be off our game.

I developed a really sore mouth ulcer, on the inside of my cheek and it was taking a long time to heal, again I didn't really think anything of it.

Then about 2 maybe 3 weeks ago I started with severe stomach cramps, leading to diarrhoea, which I have now had for approaching 3 weeks. I also had difficulty passing water and felt like I had a kidney infection as I had this god damn awful ache in my lower back on the Right, which eventually radiated across my lower back.

Following some unrestful nights and things getting no better I made an appointment with my G.P and got to speak to a nurse practitioner. After relaying my symptoms to the nurse she advised I take a 7 day course of antibiotics (Cefalexin). My dad picked  up the medication and I began taking them immediately.

At this point I had not had much to eat all that week as each time I did I was cramped up and felt really nauseous plus having to visit the toilet as quickly as possible, if you get my drift.

I took a week off work and stupidly convinced myself I was feeling a bit better at the end of the week, so returned for my regular shift starting on a Sunday. I worked all of Sunday and thinking I was on the mend had a chicken sandwich when I came in from work. I was feeling real lethargic, however pushed myself to go on my road bike, set up on my turbo trainer and try to complete 30 minutes.

I had been on my bike around 10 minutes when my Bartlett Tendon started clunking, so jumped off to inspect the knee. I shouted for Ern to come and have a look at the knee and on inspection we discovered that the top mount on the frame of the knee was very worn, so much so it was causing the retaining pin for the shocker to rotate and the small circlips to ping off, then the pin  would slide out and lock up the knee onto the main frame. Basically my knee is goosed. Great more stress and it just felt at that moment the world was in cahoots to get me. I said to my dad "Fucking hell as if I haven't been through enough". I don't often feel that sense of 'Why Me', however in that moment I was like 'I don't know how much more of this I can take'.

We managed to temporarily repair the knee I don't think it will last long, and I continued my short ride.

I got up and went to work on the Monday. I was only at work for 30 to 40 minutes and came over feeling all nauseous, with stomach cramps a terrible headache and cold sweats. I knew I couldn't remain at work so informed my colleagues I had to go home. I am now approaching my second week off.

In that time I have been back and forth to my G.P's 3 times. I have completed 6 poo tests, having to do some of the tests again as my poo test went missing? Oh and I have had numerous bloods taken. I then got the dreaded phone call that some of the results were back and that one of the doctors would have to stick a finger where no ones finger should ever be stuck.

Anyhoo no irregularities felt apparently and my bloods looked okay. What was worrying was that I had traces of blood in my poo, so now it's a case of ongoing tests. I figure an ultra sound and then something else going up my bottom to probe for a solution to what's wrong.

Even though I work for the NHS I am just like most people and when stressed rely on Google being my friend. Actually in this case Google has been kind of helpful. Now I do have to say I was looking at the symptoms and using verified sites, not checking out worse case scenarios, even though when at one particular point when I was feeling real sick I said to my dad " I think this is the end of me". 

You see I have this underlying memory of my mam being poorly with what was to be diagnosed as pancreatic cancer. I nursed my mam at home, their alongside my dad for her final breath and this has had a huge impact on me. When ever I get an upset tummy or an ache in my back it reminds me of my poor mam. Questions go through my head "Is this genetic". The whole side of my mams family has been hit by the Big C, and what with me being diagnosed with Non Hodgkins Lymphoma, well it looks like that is what I have taken from the Dodd side the family.

Getting back to my research and self diagnosis, I need answers!

So upon researching my symptoms they appeared very much like Celiac disease, and upon further research, Celiacs disease is closely related to Non Hodgkins Lymphoma. Upon reading this information I asked my dad, bless him, to go out shopping and buy me some gluten free stuff to eat.

  

I started a diary, I have only been eating small amounts of things, for two days now, and not really had a proper meal, however everything has been gluten free and so far I have not been running, well that's a lie, as I can't run, however walking on my elbow crutches as fast as possible to the toilet. My tummy does feel a little better, so for now I am going to continue  with the gluten free diet and await the results of my blood test to see if it shows up I have Celiacs Disease.

Oh by the way I am not to enamoured by the gluten free bread, it is fucking awful when used as a plain sandwich and also as toast, plus it is twice the price of a regular loaf. As with everything where anyone has a "condition" you have to pay a premium to live day to day.